what if after you have prayed for future partner, answer seemed not to

[opportunitykenny]

The topic above is surely above marriage, what can a christian borther of age 33years plus do if after he had prayed for will of God for future partner and answer seemed not to come forth and most times temptations often come to the point that he fell to the sin of masturbation and watching porn films and would not like to continue rising and falling as a result of sexual temptation?

[Guest]

What If?

 

Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 

A Fellow Believed?

 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

 

And Didn't Blame God For His Lust?

 

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:

 

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

 

Do not err, my beloved brethren. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. James 1:13-17

 

But Lived In The Presence?

 

Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. John 15:3-4

 

Of The Lord?

 

And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Galatians 4:6

 

What If?

[nebula]

Hi Kenny!

 

I can sympathize with you on the first struggle. At the age of 19 I was given a Word from the Lord (through someone) that God the Father would bring to me a man for me to be married to (not those exact words, but that was the gist). About 10 years later, which was after a few heartbreaks, I was given another Word that God has a man for me, but he's not ready for you yet. About 10 long and discouraging years later, I became friends with a man who eventually became my husband. Note with this that he is several years older than me (thus, his wait was even longer than mine).

 

I do know the pain of waiting. And I know the discouragement of waiting. I had to embrace a "give up" mentality in order to keep from going crazy.

 

But as I got to know this man I became in love with, I came to understand the value of "he's not ready for you yet." For one thing, when I was 19, he was "too old" for me and I too young for him (age gaps are a much bigger deal when you are younger). But more than that, he had a lot of inner healing and character growth and development that needed to be worked in his heart. For instance, if we came together when I was 30, he would have seriously hurt me emotionally due to how he dealt with things. In the same vein, though, I learned a lot of things during that time frame about being a better wife, which includes understanding how to appreciate manhood and what that means. Without knowing these things, I could have likewise caused him pain.

 

So, the encouragement I can hold out to you in this: the waiting is for your good. But you must use the time wisely. Learn about being a better husband. Books like James Dobson's "What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Women" or John Eldridge's "Wild at Heart" - which focuses on the heart of a man, but also explains the heart of a woman. When you pray, pray for the Lord to heal your heart to become a better man and a better husband, as well as pray for the Lord to heal "her" heart to become a better woman and a better wife.

 

At least for this part of your struggle, I hope this offers some help to you. Blessings!

[opportunitykenny]

Nebula asthe name sounds, thanks a lot for that quick response and the time u have taken to write that. God bless you.

[Widor1]

Amen Nebula! The Lord will deliver at the absolute perfect time. Kenny, put your trust in Him fully, get to know Him, so when you do meet your wife, your marriage will be based on a relationship with Jesus first.  

 

Mar 10:27  But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible." 

 

Php 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

[nebula]

Another thing, Kenny, some years ago, while still a single and no sign of marriage in my forecast, I made a decision to stop watching movies and TV shows with sex scenes. I did this because having those scenes replay in my head drove me nuts.

 

Our society makes it so hard to stay pure. May I encourage you to consider removing from your eyes those things which provoke temptation.

 

I know it isn't easy, but keep your eyes on the freedom the sacrifices will bring.

[gdemoss]

One of the hardest things I have ever tried to understand is what it means to be 'led' to do things.  We are created as servants to serve God.  The one true God who is in the form of God as spirit.  This same God created gods to do his bidding that are in the form of God as spirits.  All which are in the form of God can communicate with those of us who are in the form of servants through our hearts.  For this cause we have spiritual warfare.  Without the one true God, the Spirit of Christ in us, we have no defense against other spirits that lead us through our carnal desires.  We are slaves or servants to sin, sin being that which goes against all that is truly God and his ways.  Without the fallen angels there would be no sin.  I say all of this because I began to have victory over sexual sin when I came to see the truth about the leading that led me to sexual sin that did not go away upon my coming to Christ.

 

Sexual sin is much deeper than the act of sex with or without partners.  The one trapped in repeated sexual sin is one who is bound by their secrets and carnal desires for fulfillment in areas that have nothing to do with sex at times.  Principalities and powers prey upon the weakness and insecurities of people to drive them to do what they want them too.

 

You see, the truth is that God could bring the partner that one believes would solve the sexual immorality problem but it is a fallacy that that is the problem.  

 

I have a lot of experience in being sexually immoral and seeking God to remove these character defects or sins from me with some great success.  I have been to depths of depravity that need not be brought up in the public arena but for the sake of desiring to help another I disclose myself in a general way so that the one I would help understands there is victory that can be achieved.

 

It is all about the leading.  An alcoholic is a person who after they begin drinking cannot control their consumption.  The extreme case of an alcoholic in advanced stages cannot stop picking up the first drink either.  At some point of the journey into bondage to alcohol the victim is absolutely dependent upon alcohol and will die if not weaned or detoxed properly.  They are completely given over to it.  When an alcoholic is seeking to recover from alcoholism they end up learning along the way that the drink itself was not the sole problem but rather a symptom of their malady.  They are spiritually sick people who have been led to use alcohol in place of the very Spirit of God that can give them fulfillment and until they seek after and find the true wine which is Christ they must either be kept dry and away from alcohol regardless of how miserable they are or they are doomed to stay drunkards.

 

Leading into sexual sin is really not much different and has much of the same consequences.  Their is a scale upon which one degrades until they reach a point of pitiful incomprehensible demoralization.  All of which the individual who ends up there is accountable for but not responsible because they were led by that which they could not see nor understand.  One who wishes to recover from any level of demoralization in the sexual area need only to turn their focus to Christ and learn about the progression.

 

I live by Purdue University.  I must be in excellent spiritual condition if I have a need to go onto campus at any time to be able to sustain myself in Christ due to the overwhelming overabundance of very sexually attractive 20 something females parading around in the absolute bare minimum of attire.  But that is talking about being in the oven.  The true nature of the evil that leads me to sexual sin begins with very passive seemingly unconnected things like watching a movie that depicts two modestly dressed individuals who are in love.  There doesn't need to be anything wrong with the movie.  It could be perfectly harmless and pure but the evil present with me begins to twist it all in my mind attacking me by leading me to see two people in love and then suggesting what that love will lead to later and coloring all the details of my lonely existence without a partner and play upon my self pity and insecurities without ever having to have seen even an ounce of sexually suggestive material.  It is the power of suggestion in the mind through the heart and desires of the individual for security, love and affection.

 

My greatest victory comes from waking up to the spiritual war going on both within my heart and without in the world around me and working to become eternally vigilant against the enemy by actively serving the only true God through Christ wherein I get my strength.  Unfortunately the battle rages on all the way through life with only periods of relief.  But I assure you that you can have victory over sexual sin one moment at a time if you cling to Him who can help and learn to follow His leading in all areas of your life.  A life lived on self will will only lead to bondage to self that is easily manipulated by powers of darkness in high places.  We are servants.  All we can do is serve.

 

God be with you in your journey of life giving you fulfillment in Him and Him alone while He teaches you to better serve Him.

[His_disciple3]

had a preacher friend of mine once prayed for a wife, two years later she showed up, God doesn't always work with your time schedule.

[MorningGlory]

Hi Kenny!

 

I can sympathize with you on the first struggle. At the age of 19 I was given a Word from the Lord (through someone) that God the Father would bring to me a man for me to be married to (not those exact words, but that was the gist). About 10 years later, which was after a few heartbreaks, I was given another Word that God has a man for me, but he's not ready for you yet. About 10 long and discouraging years later, I became friends with a man who eventually became my husband. Note with this that he is several years older than me (thus, his wait was even longer than mine).

 

I do know the pain of waiting. And I know the discouragement of waiting. I had to embrace a "give up" mentality in order to keep from going crazy.

 

But as I got to know this man I became in love with, I came to understand the value of "he's not ready for you yet." For one thing, when I was 19, he was "too old" for me and I too young for him (age gaps are a much bigger deal when you are younger). But more than that, he had a lot of inner healing and character growth and development that needed to be worked in his heart. For instance, if we came together when I was 30, he would have seriously hurt me emotionally due to how he dealt with things. In the same vein, though, I learned a lot of things during that time frame about being a better wife, which includes understanding how to appreciate manhood and what that means. Without knowing these things, I could have likewise caused him pain.

 

So, the encouragement I can hold out to you in this: the waiting is for your good. But you must use the time wisely. Learn about being a better husband. Books like James Dobson's "What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew about Women" or John Eldridge's "Wild at Heart" - which focuses on the heart of a man, but also explains the heart of a woman. When you pray, pray for the Lord to heal your heart to become a better man and a better husband, as well as pray for the Lord to heal "her" heart to become a better woman and a better wife.

 

At least for this part of your struggle, I hope this offers some help to you. Blessings!

 

 

That is great advice, Neb, and even more poignant because it's based on your own experience.  Btw, I didn't realize you had gotten married.  Congratulations! 

[nebula]

Thanks, MG! Just last month.

 

And I hope someday to be able to share with girls and young women the value, benefit, pleasure, and joy of saving yourself for marriage. The suffering has been worth it!