A Constant Guilt-Stricken Battle

[callmestormy]

I'm not sure where to start with this.... but I want to keep it short and sweet. 

 

I have been struggling with alcoholism for the past two years. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of drinking. I'm tired of feeling guilt and shame after waking up from an all night drinking session. I really love God and my biggest desire is to live in a way that is pleasing to Him. But I don't know how to stop. I've tried AA and walked away feeling more discouraged than helped. I've tried addiction counseling and she said she couldn't help me until I stopped drinking. 

 

I'm just tired. And I want a change, but I don't know how to do this. I know all things are possible with God. I believe this to be true. I have people who I keep myself accountable too and I feel like I have done everything in my power to fix this, but it's... my life is a mess. Things could be worse, but it could be better. 

 

I don't know... I'm starting to ramble, so I'll just stop 

[cozmoe]

Keeping you in prayer sister , 

[BFP]

Jesus loves you Stormy, and He brings each of us through our struggles as we learn just how much this is so! It is not easy to break away from addictions, and any of us who have or have had addictions know this. It doesn't make you any less a child of God if you have accepted Jesus. Guilt is certainly His way of convicting you that it isn't right, and the fact that you are feeling guilt is a good sign:).

Look up to Him...visit a pastor instead of a secular counseling session...you'll be amazed how different the two are. A secular counsellor speaks with knowledge...a good pastor speaks with wisdom.

And through this hardship don't ever forget that Jesus loves you and wants you to be free of it.

Will be praying for you!

[shanee]

seek him and his word like your doing..it will get better..im sure you are on the right path..everytime you slip,come right back...he will win watch and see...im really happy to see you here because I know if you seek you will find...

[FreeinChrist]

Stromy, don't know all of your problems in this situation, but perhaps this will help.  On the day of Pentecost when the Apostle where filled with the Spirit, many accused them of being drunk with wine, Acts 2:13.  Later when Paul was writing he wrote to the Ephesians the following:  And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.  Ephesians 5:18  When one is filled with the Holy Spirit IMO it is likened to be drunk with wine, for Jesus stated;  The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth; so is every one that is born of the Spirit.  John 3:8

Would not it be so great if the Christian(s) were so intoxicated with the Holy Spirit, maybe we could turn the world upside down again, Acts 17:6.

 

Praying for you with this struggle.

[WIP]

Callmestormy, I don't the reason that has caused you to become an alcholic ...you know and The Lord knows and thats what matters.  You say you have tried AA and counselling and neither have helped you...why do you think this is?  
Have you had any Christian counseling ? You say you are sick of the guilt that drinking brings with it and yet you don't quit.  You acknowledge that  with God all things are possible and  you believe that to be true...,,,so then do you think that The Lord has failed you?  Be sure of this He cannot fail all His promises are true....He is always faithful.   No-one  can prevent you from putting out your hand for a drink...The Lord will help you but you need to help yourself as well.  Have you tried prayer and fasting?  and do you spend time with The Lord? These things are so very important if you really want to overcome this problem.

Scripture says that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"  You can do this but only through Christ...draw near to Him and He will draw near to you He loves you so very much.

.
I will be praying for you my sis.... that all the fetters that bind you will be loosened.
 

[Guest]

Hey callmestormy,

Good morning.  I'd like to share a few thoughts concerning the grace of our Lord.  Before I met Christ, yeahhh, sex, drugs, and rock n roll.  That was it.  All those things were to not only kill the pain inside, but also to help me feel "normal."  What a twisted sense of living I had, and good reason, for I was alienated from God, lost in my own desires.  I sought out things that I believed would help.  I was so very wrong and the road I was on would only lead to destruction.

 

Then the day came that I met Christ through a very dear brother of mine.  He shared with me the grace of God, that even though I deserved to die, God made a way for me to live.  I'd never heard the love of God shared with me like this.  I believed the truth and asked God to forgive me for my sin against him. 

 

The day after, I was still this bubbling cauldron of all this junk in my heart.  The junk that kept me from God.  It was rough turning away from those things that were killing me, but I believed God would do what he promised.  I began to understand that all I had done was worship things that would never love me, only enslave me (like alcoholism).  I thank God there were brothers that told me the truth and were willing to help me in this battle.  Without them, I would be alone.  And alone is not good.  Yeahhh, it took many years and many hard lessons after going back to what I believed helped me.  It's not easy, and I'm thankful today for the hard road it took to get me to where I am this morning.  Yes, there are still temptations to go back to using, but God has given me a way out, and that is through faith and trust in my God, Jesus Christ.  My brothers and sisters in Christ know of my difficulties, and tell me the truth in an encouraging way.  We pray together, laugh and cry together, and face these issues together.  My spiritual adultery is in the past, but I'm not so cocky to believe that I'm totally delivered of those things.  What I am, is forgiven, and now led by Christ to live a life that is pleasing to him. 

 

I encourage you to seek out those brothers and sisters in Christ who will do whatever is necessary to help you in these difficult times.  Speaking with your Pastor would also be a good idea.  He's there to shepherd the flock, and when one sheep is hurting, we all do. 

 

After being born again, I too also dealt with a lot of guilt and shame over my behavior.  So I'd like to leave you with a short passage of Scripture.  I'll let you read it for yourself. 

 

 When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
⁴ For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.^[b]

⁵ Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.

Psalm 32:3-5

 

Your not alone sister. 

God bless you,

Randal aka treetopflyer

[MissPlaced_56]

callmestormy,Dear Sister,

 

As is my way, i'm gonna tell you a story, a true one.....

You see Stormy, I'm the oldest of 5 kids,The brother next in line and the one after him as well,both became alcoholics , the one after me chose AA,my middle brother Chose to go cold turkey....

AA served my second brothers needs,He needs constant attention(asin being the center of attention ALL the time,because underneath it all,he sufferes from being very insecure and needs to be praised all the time, to be looked up to all the time,his self esteem is shot).

 

He no longer drink's...BUT has yet to deal with the underlying cause, so this keeps him in limbo....

and causes him to over compinsate  for this by being arrogant,harsh and at times abusive, this has cost him 3 marriages, and a few other things....

 

Now the middle brother,suffered from alcoholism for the same reason.....I prayed for decades,for them both....

You see Stormy we were raised by a very abusive mother, being raised by an abusive mother left a trail of damage and alot of baggage....

 

for my middle brother it took the passing of our mother to get set free...

He came into town(we live in different states) for our mother's funeral,and stayed with me, i had been praying for him before he got here,when he got here, i huged the stuffin outta him,it had been quite a few years since i had seen him,he hugged me back and then said, i'mgoin to the car to get a beer,i looked at him and said quietly, no sweety, you're gonna have to do this one dry.....he looked at me and said "ok sis", he stayed with me for 4 day's, now not once did i say another word to him about his drinkin,he stayed sober as a judge the whole time....when he left to go home i told him to call me, so i would know that he made it safe,hugged the stuffin outta him again, told him that i loved him and he left, he did call me, and to my great surprise he said"Sis, you know i figured i was sober for 4 days at you're house, i figure if i can do it for 4 days, i can do it for the rest of my life, he didn't have one beer on the way home, he dumped out every bit of booze he had when he got home and has remained sober to this day.....it's been 4 years now....i'm so happy for him!!!

 

I told our other brother about this, his responce was only"I'll be glad to talk with him,if he likes,BUT i insist that he be sober!".....i didn't say it but i thought to myself,well it's a good thing that nobody INSISTED that you be sober first,before they held out a loving hand to you!..He still needs to deal with his issues as i said.....I'm still praying for them both, the middle brother is in need of salvation, the other brother needs to deal with his inner demons so to speak...he is saved.

 

Why am I telling you this??...For this reason Stormy,Dear Sister i have yet to see it fail,

when someone is hurting, they will use their addiction of choice to ease their pain,hurting people see this as an escape and for a few hours it is..BUT it's not the cure, THE CURE is to look that pain straight in the eye and deal with it.....

 

one brother has, the other hasn't....they both have stopped drinking, but only one is cured, i don't know what it was that our mother had held over my middle brother and i don't need to know,only GOD HIMSELF knows that......BUT his pain is forever cured!

 

I'll be praying for you My Dear Sister!!

GOD BLESS YOU!

~~~MISS~~~

[TheCurseOfTheRodain]

I'd like to recommend starting to watch BVOV ( The Believer's Voice of Victory ) with Kenneth and Gloria Copeland. They will (and with their guests) just transform your life. That show is anointed and when you put that stuff into practice you will be victorious - it's all straight from the Word and will change your life forever. God has completely changed our lives through them the last 2 years. I thank God upon every remembrance of them, He is so good.

 

You can watch them for free on KCM.org, just go there and click media at the top and then let the Holy Spirit direct you to what to start watching. Get ready for BIG success. Just start watching this week's with Gloria and you will be on your way (or watch Faith for Life with Kenneth Copeland and Keith Butler from 2 weeks ago)! Watch daily, keep the Word first place in your life - just like a professional athlete practices every day for the game - they watch film, do their moves, exercise. Then when the game comes, they get double-teamed or pressured or whatever, they just do what they've been practicing - it's the same with using the Word of God to shut down everything the devil has tried to do to you. 

 

It's not over. GET UP and take a new grip on your sword! You are called to be victorious! Be like Paul, and take the mastery in this: FORGETTING what is behind and looking forward ONLY.

Be blessed, and post here your victory testimony soon! Rev 12:11.

[Guest]

I'm not sure where to start with this.... but I want to keep it short and sweet. 

 

I have been struggling with alcoholism for the past two years. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of drinking. I'm tired of feeling guilt and shame after waking up from an all night drinking session. I really love God and my biggest desire is to live in a way that is pleasing to Him. But I don't know how to stop. I've tried AA and walked away feeling more discouraged than helped. I've tried addiction counseling and she said she couldn't help me until I stopped drinking. 

 

I'm just tired. And I want a change, but I don't know how to do this. I know all things are possible with God. I believe this to be true. I have people who I keep myself accountable too and I feel like I have done everything in my power to fix this, but it's... my life is a mess. Things could be worse, but it could be better. 

 

I don't know... I'm starting to ramble, so I'll just stop 

 

May I suggest trying several different AA groups until you find one where you "fit?" It can be discouraging when you first start out.

 

I had several bad experiences when first introduced to AA myself. Most of that was due to the particular group that I was attending. Over ten years later I found another group where I fit in and where I have seen more love and acceptance in those meetings than in some churches I have visited. We have a saying: "Keep coming to meetings until meetings make sense." Even if you feel AA won't work for you, perhaps it would be a place to meet others and find some fellow believers that might become accountability partners at some point. There are also Narcotics Anonymous groups, and a few I know have found help there to stop drinking also, odd as that might sound, but what ever works!

 

One more thing, and I'll stop. The battle with drugs and alcohol isn't one that we can win alone. We need a support group of some kind around us to help. We also need the word of God and prayer. You may want to check out the site http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/. They have Bible study courses tailored for what ails us, like drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. Bombing the problem with prayer and the Word of God can only help, not hurt.