i'm 50 years old and can't stand being alone anymore

[VCO]

Hi. I prayed for a wife earnestly in 1991 when i was 27 - now i'm 50 and i cannot go on anymore. My longing to have a wife and a little daughter is tearing my Heart apart. Today i really believed she would be in my new congregation, at the small pentacostal church, but again a dissapointment. If i wasen't a christian i would go over to the train-tracks and end my life - i love the Lord and is full of Him and serve Him, but still there is this huge hole in my Heart, this intense longing that almost makes me hallucinate, and i ask when? when? when? when? when? when? when? when? I'm 50 years old and i never even had a girlfriend in my entire life. please do something - no matter what. I can't stand it anymore. Why God, do you want me to be this miserable - this long?

 

 

Read my post #5 on this thread:    

 

I know the lonely pain of having no one to love, but it was after I surrendered completely to HIM as my Lord and Master, shifting my focus from self to LOVING HIM for Saving me the SINNER, and serving Him, that He brought a Godly woman into my life.  I also know the sorrow of looking for Love in all the wrong places.   I think it would help to get involved in Christian Volunteerism, seeking to actually do His will, is the best way I know to bring blessings; and a Godly wife certainly is a blessing.  You absolutely want a like-minded Christian woman, and what better way to really get to know about their beliefs, than working along side other Christian Volunteers, doing the Lord's work.  I have learned over the years, that when we get our focus off of self, and focus on what the Lord would have us do for others, the LORD blesses us by taking care of our needs.

 

Matthew 25:34-40 (HCSB)

³⁴  Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

³⁵  For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;

³⁶  I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.’

³⁷  “Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink?

³⁸  When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or without clothes and clothe You?

³⁹  When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You?’

⁴⁰  “And the King will answer them, ‘I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’  

[Dak]

Hi. I prayed for a wife earnestly in 1991 when i was 27 - now i'm 50 and i cannot go on anymore. My longing to have a wife and a little daughter is tearing my Heart apart. Today i really believed she would be in my new congregation, at the small pentacostal church, but again a dissapointment. If i wasen't a christian i would go over to the train-tracks and end my life - i love the Lord and is full of Him and serve Him, but still there is this huge hole in my Heart, this intense longing that almost makes me hallucinate, and i ask when? when? when? when? when? when? when? when? I'm 50 years old and i never even had a girlfriend in my entire life. please do something - no matter what. I can't stand it anymore. Why God, do you want me to be this miserable - this long?

Hi Kronborg.

I only had the time to scan the replies that have already been made, and I think that my own reply is similar to Shiloh's, but I am posting it anyway. Hope you'll still be blessed.

I'm Dak. Thirty-one years old, single, and never been married. And except for a short relationship with someone through text messaging many years ago (we never met in person), I never had a girlfriend...

And yes, I'd experienced a lot of rejections in love. Never was the cool guy every girl seems to want....

Anyway, I too long for a wife and family, and these are continually in my prayers. However, I do not just wait and pray, I am also doing my part: preparing myself for that future relationship, and revealing much of myself in my writings, so that she would already know who I am -- whoever she is whom God will give me.

You will not see it now, but when I was younger, I too was desperate. I too was very lonely. I too was weighed down by my unfulfilled dreams and needs. This was before I fell in love with Jesus, nearly ten years ago. But you know what, my Brother, since falling in love with him, God has filled my heart so much with love so that I was never desperate again -- never was lonely again. Yes, even if I'm still single, and still long for a wife and a family. For God has already satisfied all my emotional needs; he has become my sole satisfaction. It's been said that God can be many things to different people: a Father to the fatherless, a Friend to the friendless, a Husband to the widowed. For myself, he is my Lover, for my deep needs for love and companionship were what he fulfilled.

I am already satisfied and content, and so everything that God is and would be giving me now -- like my longed-for wife and family -- are just bonuses. Not necessary, but very much welcomed indeed.

Brother, I think that this is what God has been teaching you but never quite learned -- to find your only source of joy, happiness, and contentment in him. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why God has not yet answered your prayers -- because he is not yet the number one in your life. I'm sorry if I seem to be judging you, Brother, when I barely know you, but this is how I see it, based on your post. God is a jealous God. He wants to be our all; he wants to be our King; and he wants to be the only one who we really need.

In your later posts you said that you've already accepted that you'll remain single for the rest of your life. However, in case you change your mind and renew your hope for a wife and family, I advise you to wait. Yes, to wait again, and to work now on making God the number one in your life -- the only satisfaction in your life.

Because, if you go searching now when you are not yet ready, do you think that it's fair to saddle your future wife with all your emotional needs? Do you think that that she'll be able to do it -- to complete you? Also, don't you think that by being desperate (and showing it), you are turning away any possible candidates who might be interested?

I had known desperation; I had known deep loneliness; and I'm telling you that these things are very unattractive to most people. Much better to show in your face the joy and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ than desperation and loneliness! And I'm telling you also, my Brother, no wife or daughter can ever fill that abyss in your heart -- only God can do that! Yes, only God has the power to fill with his love and light the unfathomable depths of our loneliness and needs.

I'll be praying for you, Brother.

Years before, I too had considered remaining single for the rest of my life... and had read Paul's teachings on the matter. But I understood that singleness was not for me. I am made for loving, I told myself. God has made me like this, and I am not about to deny these longings he placed in my heart. I am made for marriage, this I know for sure, and I am willing to wait for even more years until I find her. That is, until God bring us together, and give her to me.

~

[VCO]

I have no idea if the Christian online matchmaking services are any good, but they advertise a lot on TV here:

 

Christian Mingle

 

AND 

 

a close friend met her Christian husband through eHarmony, and they have been married nearly 15 years now.

 

You can find their websites by doing a simple Google search.

 

I know they charge for the service but I have no idea how much.  I repeat, I really do not know their percentage of success rate.  So it may or maynot be worth the try. 

Edited June 23, 2014 by VCO
links removed

[Marilyn C]

Nigel,

I read your story in your profile a while ago & was just telling my husband last night again about what God has done in your life. This was in relation to how we all know so little about what God is doing in people`s lives all over the world & we tend to measure God by `bottoms on seats.` So glad you posted it here for many would not have read it. Praise God for your honesty & His great tender love to take you through.

 

Krongorg,

 

I do feel for you also. I was single for many years & kept myself busy. I did have boyfriends but none that I wanted to marry. I could say like One Light that each position, single or married does have its advantages & disadvantages. My thoughts to you are when we are appreciative & content with what we have in the Lord, then we are not `pinning all our hopes & happiness,` on something or someone. It is Jesus Himself that can only fulfil our deepest longings,  It is a hard journey you are on because really you have said to yourself `I can only be happy, etc if.......` It seems to have become your main focus & thus could even hinder relationships for people would feel your great intensity for them to fulfil you, whereas it is God who would have you to balance your life.

 

I hope I have not over reached myself in talking straight to you.

 

Will pray for you, brother. Marilyn.

[Dak]

Hi Nigel.

Just read your testimony in your profile. Thank you for sharing. It's really beautiful and uplifting.

It's an honor to call you my Brother

~

[Macs Son]

Hi. I prayed for a wife earnestly in 1991 when i was 27 - now i'm 50 and i cannot go on anymore. My longing to have a wife and a little daughter is tearing my Heart apart. Today i really believed she would be in my new congregation, at the small pentacostal church, but again a dissapointment. If i wasen't a christian i would go over to the train-tracks and end my life - i love the Lord and is full of Him and serve Him, but still there is this huge hole in my Heart, this intense longing that almost makes me hallucinate, and i ask when? when? when? when? when? when? when? when? I'm 50 years old and i never even had a girlfriend in my entire life. please do something - no matter what. I can't stand it anymore. Why God, do you want me to be this miserable - this long?

Hi Kronborg,

Let the Lord be the love of your life. “But seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you." When our hearts are full of the Lord's great love then we truly have our life priority in order. The Lord will not withhold any good thing from us but He sees truly what is good for us and we need to trust Him on that. We also must not lean on our own wisdom concerning times and places but trust He who has time and all things in His Hands. Think of the perseverance of Abraham who wanted a son. Wait on the Lord my friend and again I say wait on Him who knows your innermost heart. I will pray for the wisdom of the Lord to provide you with inner peace about this.

In Christ, Pat

[HeavensDove1]

Kronborg, be of good cheer!

 

I'm 58 and a newlywed of 2yrs. Yes, I prayed and prayed but then I sat still before Him and the Holy Spirit allowed me to see that I was being prepared for His best gift. 

 

Know that the Lord is preparing you to receive your bride. Know also if you are being prepared the same is being done for her. Trust in the Lord with all your heart......be of good courage and look upon the changes within you to receive His riches! He will not let you down. He is always with you!

 

Peace & Blessings

[Dak]

Kronborg, be of good cheer!

I'm 58 and a newlywed of 2yrs. Yes, I prayed and prayed but then I sat still before Him and the Holy Spirit allowed me to see that I was being prepared for His best gift.

Know that the Lord is preparing you to receive your bride. Know also if you are being prepared the same is being done for her. Trust in the Lord with all your heart......be of good courage and look upon the changes within you to receive His riches! He will not let you down. He is always with you!

Peace & Blessings

Your message speaks to me, too.

It's good to be reassured of the things I myself believe in.

~

[onni]

Abraham was about 90 before he had kids.  He did have a wife though.  

 

other one is so funny 

[onni]

kronborg 

 

the Lord's purpose will prevail, praying for you~