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677,    I'm going to be rather negative in this, but it needs to be said.    If you are soooooo  insensitive as to send any person of color something like that and even remotely consider it as a joke, something is wrong with you......   deeply wrong.   Christian people are supposed to love each other and if you really love someone how could you do that to them.......   then lie about it.

 

You have problems much worse than getting this ladies forgiveness....    you are not likely to do that until you discover what it is in you that would even let you think of doing such a thing.

When you understand the reality of why you would do that and can forgive yourself, then you might have some way of talking to this lady.   She has no reason whatsoever to think you are truly sorry for in her eyes there is only one reason you could have to want to even think about it........   somehow deep inside you have a serious problem........   take that to God first and when you can reconcile that you might be able to reconcile with the lady.

Godsgirl677 Yes I have asked him to wash me in his blood and to forgive me for I am really sorry. I'm so ashamed of myself still and I want this woman to forgive me but I don't know what to say or do she has been a blessing in my life and I really messed up big time. I'm also having a hard time forgiving myself. I hate knowing I hurt someone like this.......

 

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I am trying to take it day by day. I really love this church and feel the Holy Spirit there.........I just wish I hadn't hurt her like that and I am praying we are able to still be friends.

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Sometimes people do stupid things like that because they are afraid of what other people might think or say about them. Perhaps a public apology on your facebook page is what it needed.

Confess to all how much you love this church and the people in it, and how much you hate yourself for being cowardly and speaking so horribly of people you love and then lying about it. It was worse than Peter denying his Lord 3 times because Peter did not blasphemy his Lord. You blasphemied people in whom Christ lives. Then ask all people of color to forgive you for Christ's sake, because you don't deserve their forgiveness.

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  • 1 month later...

God is ready to forgive you. First,ask for gis forgiveness and secondly, forgive yourself. Lastly, try and apologize to her one on one. God bless you...

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677,    I'm going to be rather negative in this, but it needs to be said.    If you are soooooo  insensitive as to send any person of color something like that and even remotely consider it as a joke, something is wrong with you......   deeply wrong.   Christian people are supposed to love each other and if you really love someone how could you do that to them.......   then lie about it.

 

You have problems much worse than getting this ladies forgiveness....    you are not likely to do that until you discover what it is in you that would even let you think of doing such a thing.

When you understand the reality of why you would do that and can forgive yourself, then you might have some way of talking to this lady.   She has no reason whatsoever to think you are truly sorry for in her eyes there is only one reason you could have to want to even think about it........   somehow deep inside you have a serious problem........   take that to God first and when you can reconcile that you might be able to reconcile with the lady.

I would have to agree with what "One" said.  I cannot even remotely understand why you would think this was funny.  I agree too that you have problems that go way beyond what you said.  God loves you both, and  wants both hearts healed.  I'm just not sure how this is going to be mended but I do believe if God is put in the middle of this He will make a way.  This whole thing has to have God right in the center .  I trust this will all turn out well and that God will get all the glory in the end.

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I don't understand why you would even do something like that... It just sounds very immature to me and pretty mean. May I ask what you were thinking when you did that and why? Did you pick this girl out for a reason or was it a random act? We as humans do do stupid things and can only ask for God to forgive us. And to make it right with the one we wronged.

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Blessings 677

    I will say this....when I started to read the OP,I thought to myself"UGGH,here we go...".....Your opening statement,"We attend an ALL BLACK church" just sickens me.......really?It is a BLACK CHURCH????What does that even mean?For years & years & years I have attended Houses of Prayer & Worship that are Pentecostal denomination,,,,,,,the majority of the congregation happens to be black folks,,,,,,I do not know if it is because of the location of the church or what the reason is but honestly.......I consider the place Holy Ground,the Lords church,,,,,,,not a church of color,when you can start going out into the world and see people for what they are,,,thats when things change.,,,,,,Gods children,not be distracted by the color of someones skin...............

      I too,am not going to say,,,,,awww,the Lord forgives you,,,,,blah,blah,blah         To receive forgiveness one must have a repentant heart & see with the eyes of your heart...............you seem truly sorry for the hurt you caused this fellow Sister in Christ but are you sorry for the way you think & feel towards people "the black church"..........re-evaluate,take the blinders off & let Jesus transform your heart & mind of flesh.............................He can do it,you can become color blind with His Heart & Mind but you have to want to CHANGE,not just desire forgiveness to make YOU FEEL better,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ask forgiveness that will make YOU BETTER

                                                                                                                    With love-in Christ,Kwik

BTW,the Sister that says "I love you',in spite of her hurt,,,,,,,,,,has the Heart & Mind of Christ,,,,thats how she can love you

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  • 3 weeks later...

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If you confessed to God,asked,and accepted forgiveness. Have made every effort to apologize,I would say the ball is in her court. She's hurt and needs time,pray that God will speak to her heart so you can properly resolve things,but God does not hold our trespasses against us. Learn from this,move on from this,and embrace one another if she is able to come around and accept you once more.

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I've been going to an all black church for six months I love the church. I finally found a church home I attend with my family. We are white. I made a bad mistake I played a stupid joke on Facebook I sent one of the members a horrible message cursing her out calling her the n word over and over. She defriended me right away and posted back a prayer. I made up a lie and said my Facebook got hacked. I don't know how to fix this. I called her she won't call me back I've texted her asking her if I can to her. In church she will hug me and say I love you but that's it, she looks my way she looks hurt, angry, and like about to cry. My typing is bad cuz I'm doing this on my phone but I don't know what to do. I feel like but I don't want to leave the church I also don't like the way this lady won't even let me explain yet she hug me and say I love you. How can she love me after what I did? I want to be her friend again but how when she won'teven give me the chance to explain? Everytime I pray I feel like I need to confess but I know that's going to make her mad and hurt her even more. She's a church leader very loving very sweet what do I do so she'll forgive me??? I want to be forgiven for the horrible things I said.

Couple of things I'd like to mention.

First love is also a choice. When my wife would say something that hurt me my inclination was to say something nasty back. I'm sure you can understand how that would quickly escalate into a fight. Instead I chose to love her and not respond like that. This woman could be doing that. She could be hurting and choosing to say she loves you. Perhaps she says it as a reminder to herself not to respond in a nasty way. Perhaps that is her way of saying she forgives you. It could be that she needs to keep saying it so she can forgive you. Something that happened to me once took about ten months of me forgiving the person before I fully forgave them. It needed that time.

 

Secondly while there can be forgiveness there are consequences to our actions. Imagine you jumped decided to go skydiving without a parachute and after jumping out of the plane with no parachute you decide you are sorry. No matter how sorry you are you are still going to hit that ground too fast and hard to survive. Silly story but it shows the point that there can still be consequences to our actions. Just like Moses was not allowed into the promised land because of his sin. God forgave him but there were consequences. 

 

 

Perhaps you shouldn't explain. Perhaps trying to explain yourself comes across as trying to justify what you did. Perhaps just say I'm sorry I was wrong. 

Is there someone else in the church you could talk to and ask for advice. 

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