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An open letter to pastors about Mothersday


angels4u

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Mothers dont get a day of flowers and somehow thats considered punishment? I dont follow that reasoning.

So, on a day that is there to honor mothers, we need to not honor mothers just because some get hurt feelings? How is that not punishing mothers? I guess perhaps I should hear from mothers on this, but to me that's saying that this poor women's feelings are more important then you being a mother. Perhaps we should cancel veterans day as well, since war is offensive to some.

 

 

i shared my feelings, as a mother, already... i don't like the to-do at churches on mothers day. never have, never will. i just think it's not the appropriate place. like i said, mothers should be honored and celebrated within the family. it's not necessary for churches to make a big thing of it. 

 

my husband asked my mom the other day if she was going to church with us this sunday. she said no, that she has no interest in going to church on mothers day.

 

so there is the opinion of two moms.

 

and i'm sure there are more out there. in the church i attended in vegas, they gave little gifts to the newest, the youngest, the oldest, the one with the most children, and gave honorable mentions to the step moms. the ONLY people i ever knew who enjoyed that nonsense in church was the mothers who won the gifts.

 

 

I agreed to a point with you, if its overdone ya. I see no reason to make a huge deal of it, hand out awards, etc, that alienates people-not just those without kids but also those with kids, who perhaps didnt have as many etc. But I don't see how a modest, please all mothers please stand and thankyou for your time in this difficult a job, is that big of a deal. mothers are often overworked, Im married to one, and I have one, and yes, I do things in private, gifts cards, and the like, but I dont think a little public appreciation is a bad thing, in fact I see it as good. If those without kids are hurt by it, taking away this recognition, I don't think is going to solve the problem-I mean, if the woman is THAT sensitive, shes likely to hurt just as much going to church and seeing other mothers interact with their kids, or just driving by the park, etc. Theyre going to be hurting regardless, and my suggestion is if they are hurting by the church honoring mothers-then the church is failing in its ability to minister to them, and perhaps its time to step up their game and minister to them, instead of punishing mothers. 

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Guest LadyC

patriot, i agree, if it's not overdone i'm ok with it. a simple 'stand up and let us say thanks" for ten seconds wouldn't bother me. i've never been to a church that kept it so brief, but i guess there are really only a handful of churches i've attended on any given mothers day.

 

i still think a flower at the door is even better... and they can be given to women whether they are moms or not. 

 

just curious as to what your wife thinks... would you ask her and report back? not on the whole issue, just ask her whether flowers at the door or stand-up recognition (or more) would be her preferred type of acknowledgement at church. i think it would be interesting because i know that there are many times how i feel about something is totally different than how my husband thinks i'm going to feel. (and we've been married over 16 years, and he still gets it wrong a lot of times!)

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I honestly was unaware that honoring mothers on Mother's Day in church was a hurtful or contentious issue.  To me this almost sounds like a jealousy or unresolved issues affair.  If it's simply a 'fairness' or sensitivity issue, I don't know how that can be resolved without ignoring Mother's Day.  There is no mandate for a church to honor Mother's Day, but since it's a reverent and civilized nod toward mothers, I don't see why it's specifically inappropriate or hurtful. 

All some people need is consideration~~

 

I don't understand your response, and I assume I am 'some people'.  I've been married for 27 years, and I was the designated stay-at-home parent for our 17-year-old son, because I work primarily at nights and weekends.   Would you care to be more specific?

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Guest LadyC

 

 

I honestly was unaware that honoring mothers on Mother's Day in church was a hurtful or contentious issue.  To me this almost sounds like a jealousy or unresolved issues affair.  If it's simply a 'fairness' or sensitivity issue, I don't know how that can be resolved without ignoring Mother's Day.  There is no mandate for a church to honor Mother's Day, but since it's a reverent and civilized nod toward mothers, I don't see why it's specifically inappropriate or hurtful. 

All some people need is consideration~~

 

I don't understand your response, and I assume I am 'some people'.  I've been married for 27 years, and I was the designated stay-at-home parent for our 17-year-old son, because I work primarily at nights and weekends.   Would you care to be more specific?

 

can't swear to it because i'm not in her head, but i THINK the 'some people' she was referring to were the childless women who sit in silent shame and suffering while nearly every other woman is being celebrated around them.

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just curious about something. for those who think that these celebrations of motherhood in the church are appropriate... do you feel left out when there are no such fathers day celebrations in the church? fathers are overworked and under-appreciated too.

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my wife is horribly shy, but I dont think she minds it. My church doesnt do a stand up persay, but they do hand out roses-on mothers day sunday they can either go forward and get a rose or their children/husbands can go up and get a rose for the mothers in their lives and hand it to them. Shes always seemed appreciative.

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just curious about something. for those who think that these celebrations of motherhood in the church are appropriate... do you feel left out when there are no such fathers day celebrations in the church? fathers are overworked and under-appreciated too.

Our church acknowledges Dads too on Dad's Day!  Equal opportunity parental unit acknowledgement.

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I honestly was unaware that honoring mothers on Mother's Day in church was a hurtful or contentious issue.  To me this almost sounds like a jealousy or unresolved issues affair.  If it's simply a 'fairness' or sensitivity issue, I don't know how that can be resolved without ignoring Mother's Day.  There is no mandate for a church to honor Mother's Day, but since it's a reverent and civilized nod toward mothers, I don't see why it's specifically inappropriate or hurtful. 

All some people need is consideration~~

 

I don't understand your response, and I assume I am 'some people'.  I've been married for 27 years, and I was the designated stay-at-home parent for our 17-year-old son, because I work primarily at nights and weekends.   Would you care to be more specific?

 

can't swear to it because i'm not in her head, but i THINK the 'some people' she was referring to were the childless women who sit in silent shame and suffering while nearly every other woman is being celebrated around them.

 

LadyC  you are are right ,that is exactly what I mean by "some people" it is somebody who is so very  close to me~~~and there are many others....

 

lol I guess you are in my head!

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Guest LadyC

my wife is horribly shy, but I dont think she minds it. My church doesnt do a stand up persay, but they do hand out roses-on mothers day sunday they can either go forward and get a rose or their children/husbands can go up and get a rose for the mothers in their lives and hand it to them. Shes always seemed appreciative.

 

that's the way it should be done :)

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