Desperate for an Answer!

[Guest Wisdom Seeker]

I'm new here and I hardly know where to begin. I don't want to take up your time with a long post, so I will try to keep it brief and to the point.

I am a born-again Christian and I love the Lord with all my heart. He comes first in my life. I've known the Lord for 21 years and He's the most important "thing" in my life. I believe the Bible is the inspired and inerrant Word of God and that it's all true and applies just as much today as it did in the past. All I want in life is to be pleasing to God and live my life holy before Him.

My biggest trial is that I am gay. I don't want to be! I never have! I do NOT practice the lifestyle. I don't believe God created me to be gay. I don't believe people are born that way. I was never sexually abused, but I did not have a good childhood growing up. I hated my father. To this day, I have nothing to do with my family and they don't want anything to do with me. I love them and have forgiven them, but I just can't have them in my life. No one else in my family is a Christian. But this is not the issue at hand. I just wanted to explain that I know this is not from God, but the result of past experiences.

I've had these feelings since I was a little boy. About 7 or so. I know God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself for the times I dabbled in the lifestyle. It's not a self-esteem issue for me anymore. I am a loved child of God!

The question I need an answer for is this: Can I be 100% delivered from this... without anymore "desires" to be with a man? I want so much to get married and grow old with someone... a wife. If so, how can I receive this deliverance?

This is so shaming for me that I can't bear the thought of talking to my pastor about it. Past experiences of sharing this information with people in the church has been horrifically painful and to no avail. I can't go through that again!! None of my friends know, either. I don't want to have to "come out" to friends and/or the church in order to be delivered from this abomination.

I do not want to live a lie. I want to feel like a whole person! I hate this more than anything else! It weighs on my mind daily and I have tried to lay it at the feet of Jesus and leave it there. The thoughts and feelings keep coming back.

I've heard some people say that there are sins/situations that some people just have all throughout their lives as "their trial" or "their burden". Is this true? I pray it's not! God knows my heart's cry is for a complete deliverance... why doesn't He do this for me? What do I have to do? What am I missing? I would surrender anything and everything to be free from this! No price is too high!

Please help me if you can. I need peace about this. Thank you in advance and God bless you all to overflowing!

[Constant]

Hi,

My half sister is gay. She wasn't always gay but she has always found women more attractive than men. She is a born-again christian as well and she is getting married to her gfriend. She knows this is a sin but she is leaving it up to God to take the lust out of her body so she can be no longer in this sin of homosexuality. From what I understand, God doesn't hate the sinner He hates the sin of homosexuality. (edit) I don't mean to get too personal but if you want you can back track to an older post I wrote called " Is being gay okay to God". Alot of good advise in their if you are interested.

Allison

Edited February 6, 2005 by IslandRose

[his]

Hi Wisdom Seeker ~

I do not know of any advice I can give you. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. There is nothing too difficult for GOD and HE WILL deliever you from this someday. Read James 1:2(bottom of my post in green). Take joy...GOD will increase your faith through this. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. I do know that this has got to be so pleasing to GOD that you are overcoming your own temptations for HIS glory. You are my brother in Christ and I am cheering for you...run the race..fight the good fight. Have you considered a personal Christian counselor? I would not suggest any counselor besides a Christian counselor. Continue to pray. GOD hears you...I do not know why he is making you wait, but just focus on the LORD through all of this...he will answer. No prayer is too big for GOD. Let the Lord be your strength. I pray and hope for you that one day you have the family that you speak of...a wife, and some children..with no desire or attraction to anyone other than your wife. I pray that when that happens, you will have a VERY GOD-centered family.

Let the Lord be your strength,

HIS(his is a her)

Edited February 6, 2005 by his

[Keith]

I don't have the answer for you, Wisdom Seeker. I truly wish I did. The folks here at Worthy are kind and encouraging so I pray that God will lead the right person(s) to your post.

You expressed yourself well and I have no doubt that you love God tremendously. I was encouraged to see that!

Stay strong in the Lord!

[tsth]

Dear Wisdom,

The Lord hears those who seek Him, and He answers them.

Have you checked into Exodus International? Maybe in your area?

http://www.exodus-international.org/

In His Love,

Suzanne

[his]

Edited February 6, 2005 by his

[Guest Wisdom Seeker]

Constant, his, Keith and tsth:

Thank you for responding and encouraging me. I appreciate it more than you know! I really do love the Lord and want this burden lifted so I can take my eyes off myself and focus completely on the Father and others. I don't like focusing on me, but I am desperate to get rid of this!

I've heard of Exodus Int'l before but there isn't a chapter near me. I will try contacting them to see what they say anyway.

Thanks again, for caring.

P.S. I reread Constant's post and she was explaining her sister's feelings and thoughts about being gay. I don't think they were Constant's thoughts and feelings. Taking the time to respond in some way tells me that she cares and I appreciate that very much! I pray your sister comes to understand what God's Word says about her homosexuality, Constant. Thanks again!

Edited February 6, 2005 by Wisdom Seeker

[tsth]

I forgot to ask you one more thing...........are you partaking of God's Word EVERY day??? God's Word has the power to help you overcome, but not if you are not taking it in you. Meditating on it, every day, every morning BEFORE you begin the day. His Word has abundant power, take it in.

James 1:14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. 18 Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.

1:21 Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

Take hold of His Word, and keep it with you daily, which is to receive It!!!

In His Love,

Suzanne

[refugepsa91]

Amen tsth We need to hear the word everyday..

wisdom seeker....prayer is a powerful thing...I will pray for you...as I'm sure alot of others here will do too. Welcome by the way

Love and Blessings,

Angel

[Constant]

Also, I am not here to argue with anyone I am here to try to help Wisdom and try to listen to him if he needs to talk. Let us focus on that. What my sister does I am not aware of because she has never told me. I am talking about acting on the lust. She emails me and I talk to her about it. I believe she doesn't want this in her and I hope she won't be getting married to a girl! So, I pray for her as I will pray for you Wisdom. I hope all goes well in your heart!