No, I'm not okay!

[ZOEgirl 4 GOD]

Last night my dad got arrested for drinking. He verbally attacked me first on the computer saying, "You f****** little b**** you're telling your little friends what a horrible dad I am aren't you!" And he started accusing me of all this stuff, I WAS telling my friend Nikki that he was drinking and stuff, but I wasn't saying he was a horrible dad or anything! Then my mom told me to get off the computer, and dad started yelling at her and he backed her into a wall and started shaking her. Then my mom started yelling for our roomate to help her, and she wouldn't. She just stood there saying no to my mom and I couldn't help her because I'm only 15 and I was waiting for my dad to hit my mom so I'd have an excuse TO help her, because I can knock my dad out, but not when he's drunk. I told Nikki to call me before I got off the computer and she did, because I couldn't call her, she lives in another state, and Nikki is one of the only two people who really understands how I feel. She called me, and I was crying to her, I was threatning to run away and she told me not to because then I'll be found, and it'll get worse, he might even hurt me. But I was being stubborn, and Paula, my roomate's daughter, came out and told me that dad had pushed Amber into the wall and to call the police, I said no, I told Nikki to call me back in five minutes and handed Paula the phone so she would call, because Paula can keep calm in these kind of situations and I was already breaking down as it was...So Paula called the police and Nikki called me back wehen the police were there. Now the police are going to call CPS and my sister, Paula, Sarah and I can get taken away, and I don't know what to do anymore...

[RustyAngeL]

Zoe, first off you are not to blame for any of this. It seems so often that when things like this happen the kids always want to blame themselves. It sounds as if your dad has a real problem with drinking. I'm going to say something and it may sound harsh but just listen. This may be the best thing that could have happened. It just may make your dad come face to face with his problem and seek help. HE has to do it, you can't make him. It also sounds as if he is violent when he drinks and you and your sister and mom need to get away. Fighting doesn't do anything. If he does this again and becomes violent, pick up the phone and call the police. If nothing else he can sit in jail and think about what he has done. I will be praying for you.

[tillmother]

Willing be praying for your situation. I feel for you cause currently i am in a abusive relationship--my husband has been verbally and abusing me for our entire marriage. I'm just now seeing what he has been doing to me and the effect that it is having on my children. Rest assured none of this is youe fault.

[Quizzy]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Zoe))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

When your dad gets angry like that, it's not other people's behaviour making him do this stuff. He and he alone owns his actions. We are all accountable for how we behave. You nor anyone else is not responsible for making your dad like that, HE is. When he lashes out like that, it is because of a hatred for his own life and what problems he has, he deals with this by transferring the blame to someone else. This is not your fault.

Your whole family needs counselling. Any kind of abuse requires a person to help you deal with "stinkin thinkin", this may include feeling your at fault, thinking this is normal, or even to learn proper ways of dealing with anger.

Your dad DEFINITELY needs help, but like Rusty said, it's gotta come from him. He has to admit he is the one who owns this problem and take responsiblity for it.

Violence is not a way to deal with conflicts,

Physical force against women (or men) is not right,

Being a woman (or young woman) does not mean being a victim,

Discipline does not include verbal, mental, emotional or physical abuse,

We all have choices Zoe, your dad, you, your mom, sometimes when your in a situation, it's hard to see them all, but if you can get to some counselling find out some healthy and real options that you have.

Above all else, when you can do nothing else, just trust..............just trust in Jesus, who is involved in this situation, .............just trust.

(((((((((((((((((Zoe)))))))))))))))))))))

Love ya, Quizzy

[Leonard]

Praying for you, little Sister. I have some experience in marriage counseling, and I think your mom needs to take you kids and GET OUT! Violent behavior only escalates unless the violent person gets some real help........ Your mom should not wait around to be really beat up.

[Anonymous]

Dear Zoe,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, I will keep you in prayer. Right now look to Jesus, while asking him for strength, for his peace and protection to be up on you.

Don't give up.... keep seeking good Godly advice. Talk to your pastor, or a seasoned Christian..... Remember you are loved. Love is not 'posed to hurt..... but God can mend the hurt and he can also fix the one who causes the hurt; pray for those who have hurt you.

Don't loose your spirit Zoe.... you are such a sweet girl.

Love you~

Anonymous

[Constant]

Zoe,

I am so sorry for what you are going through! My older brother, Craig, and my younger brother, Adam, used to get drunk all the time and have brawls. Real bloody fights. No one would call the police beause they are brothers and they will work it out. That is bull you know what. One night, the police were called on them and my brother, Craig was arrested. He didn't like what has been happening and he stopped drinking. He may be a little grumpy now but at least he's not hurting anyone! I hope that it won't happen in your case but what you are going through, you will fel it in your heart to make the right decision!

Praying for you!

Al

[Kabowd]

I'm so sorry...all I know to do is pray.

*hugs*

[paperflowers]

My sweet child find someone who is older to talk to...a teacher. If they don't respond, the principal. Your pastor. His wife. Do you have friends in the church? This is not for you to handle alone. Your teenage friends are not equipped to handle this. Sometimes even adults can't handle it. BUT DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND RESPOND BACK TO YOU. This could be a cyle that needs to end now with you. Don't let the cycle carry over into your life with your spouse or children (prepare yourself now). Get someone to listen and find you some help. Pray without ceasing. God is there no matter how long it takes for that person to show up. God is there. I hug your across the "wires of the internet". Lots of love. I hope that this ends very soon.

[finding God (angel)]

Hugs to you Zoe.

My dad use to be a drunk.My dad got put in jail several times.My dad never got viloent he just passed out and I was lucky.

I hope everything gets better.I am praying for you.