Scraplover27 Posted August 24, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/24/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted August 24, 2016 Hi, I'm new here. I am floundering a bit (a lot). I have seen a psychologist for almost a year, and feel very attached to him. I don't have a strong father figure in my life, and so I have tended to look for father figures... as lovers or mentors or other connection types. He is 20 years older than me, and a Christian. I have felt an urge to develop a relationship with God for a long time, and voiced this to my psychologist recently. Today at our session we talked about God. It was honestly the best session we have had. He is so kind, and I wonder if part of why I want an attachment to God is so I can feel closer to my psychologist. I sent him an email after session asking if he ever prays for patients. I'm a sort of troubled woman with a lot of residual pain from childhood issues. I was diagnosed with c-PTSD and an attachment disorder. I've had trouble in the past with not having a strong sense of self, and being chameleon like in relationships. Is that what is happening here? If my psychologist were a devout Buddhist would I be heading down that path? Is it moot, and should I just "go with it" since having a relationship with God can't hurt? I'm incredibly anxious that he hasn't answered my email and worry that he thinks I'm strange for asking him that question. I already overstep my bounds by emailing too much, though he tells me not to worry about it. I think he cares about me, but the nagging voice in the back of my mind tells me he's just doing his job. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 87 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,872 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,606 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted August 25, 2016 What would be your definition of "having a relationship with God" be? Because the Bible teaches us that having a real relationship with Him means we deny ourselves and follow Him. Luke 9:23 ESV -- And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Would you be "having a relationship with God" just to get closer to this man? If so, then spiritual brokenness, repentance from sin, a changed heart is not where you are right now. To truly turn to God means to reject the sin of our former selves and to Love, Obey, and Trust God completely and before all other people and things. If you would just be going to church or praying aimlessly as some kind of ritualistic aspect of your life, for the sake of someone else, then that's not a true relationship with God. Perhaps you could let us know what your thoughts are on Christianity, the Bible, and so on? Do you consider yourself a Christian now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 207 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted August 25, 2016 16 hours ago, Scraplover27 said: Today at our session we talked about God. It was honestly the best session we have had.... He is so kind, and I wonder if part of why I want an attachment to God.... is so I can feel closer to my psychologist.... Dear One, Who Will You Glorify.... Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise. Jeremiah 17:14 (King James Bible) Who.... And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 2 Corinthians 2 (New International Version) ~ Be Blessed Beloved Daughter Of The KING The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27 (King James Bible) Love, Your Brother Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scraplover27 Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/24/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Thanks for the replies. To be clear, I'm not looking for a relationship with my psychologist. He is wise, kind, and a smart man. I look up to him very much, as almost a father figure. I would never put him in a position to lose his license, and am not trying to seduce him. Not sure how this was inferred... maybe because I mentioned I have looked for father figures in people I've dated in the past. Anyway, I only worry that because I so look up to him, that this is why I am wanting to find God... because I respect this doctor and I know God is important in his life. Does this make sense? To answer another question, I was baptized and confirmed years ago as a teenager. I'm in my 40's now, married to the same man for 20 years, with two children. I have never "felt" God, and wonder if it's due to me shutting down emotionally after a difficult childhood that saw violence, abuse and physical and emotional abandonment. I want to feel God in my life. I'm searching for meaning. It's hard to just wake up one day and suddenly have faith... my gradual and growing therapeutic relationship with my very nurturing but well-boundaried psychologist has made me feel open to exploring Christianity again. Incidentally, he emailed me last night and said he would pray for me, for greater self-acceptance and inner harmony etc. The fact that he would do this for me feels incredibly moving. I am going to just go with this slowly for the time being. I'm a cautious person... I will try to pray for help in feeling God in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted August 25, 2016 Welcome to Worthy. It is wise to get counseling with a Psychologist. It is also wise to seek a Christian Psychologist. Becoming attached to a therapist is common and your Psychologist knows this. Psychologists have been trained how to deal with this issue. It sounds like you are putting your Psychologist before God. We know that is wrong. If you think this man is helping you I would suggest that you back off with your romantic notions and let him do his job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turquoise Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Seeker Followers: 1 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 175 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 80 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted August 25, 2016 (edited) With the attachment disorder and chameleon problem, maybe you should avoid Christian groups such as church or forums? I've been praying several times per day. I don't believe in Christianity, but prayer helps me feel better. (I do have some hope that God exists, but I suspect that no religion has it right.) Edited August 25, 2016 by turquoise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scraplover27 Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/24/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 30 minutes ago, missmuffet said: Welcome to Worthy. It is wise to get counseling with a Psychologist. It is also wise to seek a Christian Psychologist. Becoming attached to a therapist is common and your Psychologist knows this. Psychologists have been trained how to deal with this issue. It sounds like you are putting your Psychologist before God. We know that is wrong. If you think this man is helping you I would suggest that you back off with your romantic notions and let him do his job. I JUST posted that I'm not experiencing romantic feelings for my psychologist. He is like a father figure to me. I do worry that because I respect him so much, I am following his belief system to feel closer to him as a father figure. I have no desire to sleep with him. I'm happily married for 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,242 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,653 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted August 25, 2016 Scraplover, you are attracted to him because the Spirit of the Living God lives in him, and God is love--a compassionate kind of love. Every person who has received God's forgiveness through Christ's dying on the cross, and believes that God raised Him from the dead, also has received the Holy Spirit of God to live in him. So do pray to God yourself. Talk to Him like your do your psych. He is a Person as well Who is kind and loving, and loves you just the way you are. God wants a fatherly relationship with you more than you want it with Him. God knows all about your past and is here with you to heal the hurts and mend your broken heart. Jesus started His ministry by these words: Luk 4:18 "THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME, BECAUSE HE HAS ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR; HE HAS SENT ME TO HEAL THE BROKENHEARTED, TO PROCLAIM LIBERTY TO THE CAPTIVES AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND, TO SET AT LIBERTY THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED; Luk 4:19 TO PROCLAIM THE ACCEPTABLE YEAR OF THE LORD." He was quoting a passage from the Old Testament book of Isaiah, and the thought ends with this: Isa 61:3 To console those who mourn ---, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." God directed this part to Zion (Jerusalem), but the same principal applies to the rest of us. God adopts us as His child and begins a healing process in our lives after we receive Christ as our Lord and Savior. He sends a Helper to us in the form of His Holy Spirit to live in us, guide us, and to enable us to love and forgive as Christ did. We can't do these things on our own. We can only do it by the power of His Spirit within us. Joh 1:1 In the beginning was the Word (later named Jesus), and the Word was with (Father) God, and the Word (Jesus) was God. Joh 1:2 He was in the beginning with God. Joh 1:3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. Joh 1:10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. Joh 1:11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. Joh 1:12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become (adopted) children of God ,Joh 1:13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. Joh 1:14 And the Word became flesh (They named Him Jesus) and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted August 25, 2016 2 hours ago, Scraplover27 said: I JUST posted that I'm not experiencing romantic feelings for my psychologist. He is like a father figure to me. I do worry that because I respect him so much, I am following his belief system to feel closer to him as a father figure. I have no desire to sleep with him. I'm happily married for 20 years. Having respect and admiring a man is different than having romantic feeling for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scraplover27 Posted August 25, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 6 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/24/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 18 minutes ago, missmuffet said: Having respect and admiring a man is different than having romantic feeling for him. Exactly. I never said I had romantic feelings for him. I said I was attached to him, and felt like I wanted to be closer. Yet two different people assumed I was talking about being attracted to him. This was an erroneous inference. I look at him like a father figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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