Angelz Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/16/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2016 I've been married 26 years, unhappy for most but comfortable. I don't love him like a wife should love her husband, not sure I ever did. The thought of staying breaks my heart. I cry all the time. He says I'm selfish and I could choose to be in love with him. My question is, how do I force my heart to feel something is doesn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omegaman 3.0 Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 57 Topic Count: 1,546 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 10,320 Content Per Day: 1.41 Reputation: 12,323 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/15/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/05/1951 Share Posted October 16, 2016 One does not need to feel, to be married, just like one does not have to enjoy work, to have a job. Love is an abligation a seeking of the benefit of others, more than it is an emotion. I suggest a lot pf prayer, as God to give you that love you wish you had. Pray also, for you spouse, a lot, it is easier, I think, to build fondness for people you act loving toward, sometimes feeling follow. Divorce is not an option for a Christian, unless the partner is unfaithful. Some might make an exception for abusive relationships, and I would not judge anyone for leaving one of those, but it is not a reason that is recognized in scripture itself. As beleivers, we are called to live a life of sacrifice, if necessary, because we love the Lord. Choosing to be disobdient to Him, is to all but deny His right, to be our Lord. I will pray for you, but I cannot give you an answer you want to hear, just because you want to hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dservant Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 67 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 69 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/03/1959 Share Posted October 16, 2016 2 hours ago, Angelz said: not sure I ever did look to the power of the perfect Son of God, clean out from your house whatever the Holy Spirit says to you is dubious, and memorise Ish 54:17. As often as you can dear sister repeat this verse even after all symptoms of lack-of-love dissappear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,180 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,453 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted October 16, 2016 An overall understanding of divorce would be never... 'for better or worse' remember? A heart that is softened by nearness to The Lord will find nothing hard due to the done unto Him! Love, Steven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdemoss Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 59 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,402 Content Per Day: 0.99 Reputation: 2,154 Days Won: 28 Joined: 02/10/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/26/1971 Share Posted October 16, 2016 7 hours ago, Angelz said: I've been married 26 years, unhappy for most but comfortable. I don't love him like a wife should love her husband, not sure I ever did. The thought of staying breaks my heart. I cry all the time. He says I'm selfish and I could choose to be in love with him. My question is, how do I force my heart to feel something is doesn't? I have been divorced. It happened due to the hardness of hearts. A heart doesn't harden over night. Nor does it soften quickly. What I found was that I was the same person no matter who my mate was and that I was doomed to failure until my heart softened. What you have said above is that you are not a loving person for your heart does not love him. I am selfish by nature. Only Christ could set me free from that. I needed lots of counseling after I became born again to work toward being the person God intended me to be. If your unhappy in your marriage I suggest you seek God to send you a woman to teach you how to love your husband, for it is written, wives love your husband's. May God be with you and show you how to love the unlovable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2016 11 hours ago, Angelz said: I've been married 26 years, unhappy for most but comfortable. I don't love him like a wife should love her husband, not sure I ever did. The thought of staying breaks my heart. I cry all the time. He says I'm selfish and I could choose to be in love with him. My question is, how do I force my heart to feel something is doesn't? Are you and your husband Christians? There are two Biblical reasons for divorce 1. Sexual immorality Matthew 5:32;Matthew 19:9 2. Abandonment by an unbeliever 1 Corinthians 7:15 You can not exchange or abandon a marriage partner like an old pair of shoes. That is why it is so important to step back and make very sure that you will be able to spend a lifetime with this person. That is also why it is very important to get marriage counseling before you get married. I do believe in separation and then possibly divorce if the spouse does not repent in instances of serious abuse in a marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelz Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/16/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 First off I never said I don't love my husband, I do love him, dearly. It's just not a type of love a wife should have for her husband. I guess that love is not important in a Christian marriage. My husband feels I am mentally unstable because I want a divorce, his words. He asked our therapist to prescribe some type of medication to "fix me"as he put it. She refused. I would take medication if it would help our marriage . During our marriage I was discouraged from working, getting an education and having my own interests and hobbies. I felt trapped. I have prayed for our marriage, for years I prayed. We have been to Christian marriage counselling. I know I'm not a perfect wife but I tried to be a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted October 16, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2016 3 minutes ago, Angelz said: First off I never said I don't love my husband, I do love him, dearly. It's just not a type of love a wife should have for her husband. I guess that love is not important in a Christian marriage. My husband feels I am mentally unstable because I want a divorce, his words. He asked our therapist to prescribe some type of medication to "fix me"as he put it. She refused. I would take medication if it would help our marriage . During our marriage I was discouraged from working, getting an education and having my own interests and hobbies. I felt trapped. I have prayed for our marriage, for years I prayed. We have been to Christian marriage counselling. I know I'm not a perfect wife but I tried to be a good one. Do you have a mental illness? It is very difficult to maintain a healthy marriage with a mental illness. The partner of that person has to have an incredible amount of patience. We live in a "pill" society. A pill is not going to fix everything. It is nice to see that you and your husband are receiving therapy. Is your husband forcing you to stay at home and not achieve the goals that you want to obtain? Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts