She Keeps Trying To Get Me In The Middle Of It

[LadyKay]

My mother in law has been having this on going issue with one of her granddaughter.  Her granddaughter and I have become friends and she has a daughter the same age as my daughter. She lives 2hrs away so we only get together once in a while or we talk on the phone. The granddaughter  has expressed that she would like a relationship with her grandmother(my mother in law) and would like her daughter to get to know her. But my mother in law wants nothing at all to do with her for what ever reason.

Out of blue just now she called and wanted to know if I had talked to her granddaughter. I told her she called me yesterday and she talked to my daughter. She goes on about a strange number showing up on her phone and said she thought it might be hers. I told her I would not know.  She then goes into this rant about how she does not want her granddaughter to know where she lives and that she does not want her to know where her grandfather is  buried. I told her she has to right to know where her grandfather is buried as it is her grandfather. To which my mother in law said that is not the point and that she didn't even want to tell her that he had died but my husband made her tell her.

I felt myself getting pull into her fight so I told her she needs to take all this up with her granddaughter as I do not want to be a part of it. She then went on to tell me that her granddaughter will find out were I live and be nosing around my place. And that all she is looking for his a hand out and she is not giving any handouts.   Then after all of that she ask me if we are going to come for Easter dinner. ( and I am thinking is this going to be like Christmas were you complain about having to pay for the food)  LOL ! No, I do not want to have Easter dinner with this women.  

Well anyway that is my story thanks for listing. 

Edited March 3, 2017 by LadyKay

[Guest BacKaran]

Keep saying... That's interesting and never really answer her and then say no thank you for Easter, we have plans.

You can do it, I've done it and the drama has left my life from my dad and siblings, it's the whole Roman Catholic thing and every topic is about money..... My dad gets mad at me cuz I won't tell him how much I get as a death benefit when my hubby died, how much my house is worth or what I pay in taxes. I just say Dad, I've got enough to live on by God, I've got all I need.

If I buy something for him, he says how much did it cost? I said it's free for people named Roy today or a million dollars, it's a gift, you can't pay for it.

Practice practice practice to break out of the family script. 

?

Edited March 3, 2017 by BacKaran

[LadyKay]

I forgot to ask this. I have not told the granddaughter any of this. She has called me upset about her grandmother refusing to talk to her on the phone and not returning her calls. All I have told her is that grandma has turn mean!

I have not told her that she does not want her to come around or want anything to do with here. Or any of the stuff that she rants off at me about such as  accusing her of wanting  a hand out or not wanting her to know where he grandfather is buried .  Should I kept these things to myself?  Or should I let her know what is really going on? 

Edited March 3, 2017 by LadyKay

[LadyKay]

38 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

Wow, what a mess!!  I am sorry, I had to laugh about the "run to the hills" gif ... I remember the post from Christmas (wow) ... I do not blame you one bit.  My heart goes out to the granddaughter who seems to very much desire a relationship with her grandmother and was not told about the passing of her own grandfather.  It seems she has a very cold heart (for whatever reason).  I think if it were me, I would try to express to the granddaughter that I don't want to get involved (be put in the middle) but that I completely sympathize and support her if she needs someone to confide in or talk things through.  On the other hand, since the mother-in-law is already very vocal and (what's the other word??!)  ... I would be a bit more forward with her and tell her in no uncertain terms that I did not agree with how she is treating her granddaughter, but that I do not want to be in the middle and would tell her not to talk to me about her granddaughter any more.  (Just my 2 cents)

Thank you Abby-Joy for your understanding words. The whole thing is getting out of hand. If my mother in law even thinks that her granddaughter has tired to contact her, she will call me up and rant to me the same rant she just did a few hrs ago. To tell truth it is very hard for me to just walk away from it. I'm not good at just walking away.  I talked to my husband about it and he says she is going to end up alienating everyone.