Jayne Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 107 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,820 Content Per Day: 1.30 Reputation: 4,806 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 3 hours ago, creativemechanic said: You shouldnt focus on the fact that a male approached you about your dress, but on the fact that you were dressing in a way that warranted speaking about When I was 16 years old, I went to church one day and had not buttoned a blouse up high enough. Yes, I did it on purpose - not to be seductive, but to be "cool". [I wouldn't have had a clue at 16 how to be "seductive".] My parents didn't see it because I adjusted those buttons between Sunday School and church. Our pastor's wife saw it. She approached me with love and gentility. She said, "My dear, you need to button a couple of those buttons on your blouse and I think you know that, now don't you." I said, "Yes, M'am". She didn't make me feel dirty or embarrassed, but properly chastened. And I buttoned the blouse appropriately and never did that again. My point.... If a man had said that to me, I would have told my parents - and my father, even though he would have agreed with the message, would have knocked him on his can. Today, as an adult woman, if a man came to me in church and told me that my sweater was too tight for him or that skirt was not the right length and that my body was causing him a problem, I would knock him on HIS can. Right there .... in the sanctuary. Don't think I'm joking. If you think that the picture of Miley Cyrus that you posted in the OP is not appropriate and causes men to stumble .... ....why did you post it on a Christian forum? There are ways to handle things like this and ways not too. We can discuss this without pictures and we can help women understand without be creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running Gator Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member * Followers: 8 Topic Count: 91 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 10,596 Content Per Day: 3.69 Reputation: 2,743 Days Won: 25 Joined: 06/16/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 26 minutes ago, Jayne said: When I was 16 years old, I went to church one day and had not buttoned a blouse up high enough. Yes, I did it on purpose - not to be seductive, but to be "cool". [I wouldn't have had a clue at 16 how to be "seductive".] My parents didn't see it because I adjusted those buttons between Sunday School and church. Our pastor's wife saw it. She approached me with love and gentility. She said, "My dear, you need to button a couple of those buttons on your blouse and I think you know that, now don't you." I said, "Yes, M'am". She didn't make me feel dirty or embarrassed, but properly chastened. And I buttoned the blouse appropriately and never did that again. My point.... If a man had said that to me, I would have told my parents - and my father, even though he would have agreed with the message, would have knocked him on his can. Today, as an adult woman, if a man came to me in church and told me that my sweater was too tight for him or that skirt was not the right length and that my body was causing him a problem, I would knock him on HIS can. Right there .... in the sanctuary. Don't think I'm joking. If you think that the picture of Miley Cyrus that you posted in the OP is not appropriate and causes men to stumble .... ....why did you post it on a Christian forum? There are ways to handle things like this and ways not too. We can discuss this without pictures and we can help women understand without be creepy. Great post all around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Teditis Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 I think it would be absurd for a random member of a congregation to come up to a stranger and suggest that they were dressed inappropriately. That's a job for the Church staff. Which brings up an integral problem for small, non-denominational churches... they usually don't have the experience and/or lay-members to monitor and "police" things of this nature. On another note, if you're having problems lusting after women that are dressed inappropriately perhaps you need to do some introspection. We don't go to church to look at other people and assess their looks... we're supposed to be focused on worship and the service. So direct your attention to where it's supposed to be and that shouldn't be on other members of the congregation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shiloh357 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 3 minutes ago, Teditis said: I think it would be absurd for a random member of a congregation to come up to a stranger and suggest that they were dressed inappropriately. That's a job for the Church staff. Which brings up an integral problem for small, non-denominational churches... they usually don't have the experience and/or lay-members to monitor and "police" things of this nature. On another note, if you're having problems lusting after women that are dressed inappropriately perhaps you need to do some introspection. We don't go to church to look at other people and assess their looks... we're supposed to be focused on worship and the service. So direct your attention to where it's supposed to be and that shouldn't be on other members of the congregation. I was visiting a church where one of the girls in the praise band was wearing a shirt or a sweater each week that looked like it was spray painted on her. It was VERY distracting during the praise and worship segment. I said something to one of the staff and I was told that the pastor had received several complaints about her, but she was his daughter and he would not confront her. I decided that was not the church for me, and I went elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Teditis Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 6 minutes ago, shiloh357 said: I was visiting a church where one of the girls in the praise band was wearing a shirt or a sweater each week that looked like it was spray painted on her. It was VERY distracting during the praise and worship segment. I said something to one of the staff and I was told that the pastor had received several complaints about her, but she was his daughter and he would not confront her. I decided that was not the church for me, and I went elsewhere. I think that that was the wise thing to do... if the pastoral staff isn't going to protect the flock, it's time to leave. It's unfortunate that she was allowed to be part of the service and presented herself in an immodest way, but for her father to support her in her immodesty is a shame to the church itself. I prefer it when a church has the choir and "vestry" wear robes/frocks... it adds to both uniformity and modesty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 6 hours ago, creativemechanic said: Thats what we call seeing the forest for the trees. You shouldnt focus on the fact that a male approached you about your dress, but on the fact that you were dressing in a way that warranted speaking about If a woman is dressed in a provocative way she can not complain about a man gawking at her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running Gator Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member * Followers: 8 Topic Count: 91 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 10,596 Content Per Day: 3.69 Reputation: 2,743 Days Won: 25 Joined: 06/16/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 46 minutes ago, shiloh357 said: I was visiting a church where one of the girls in the praise band was wearing a shirt or a sweater each week that looked like it was spray painted on her. It was VERY distracting during the praise and worship segment. I said something to one of the staff and I was told that the pastor had received several complaints about her, but she was his daughter and he would not confront her. I decided that was not the church for me, and I went elsewhere. Perhaps the problem was in the viewers and not the viewie... just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shiloh357 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 7 minutes ago, Running Gator said: Perhaps the problem was in the viewers and not the viewie... just a thought. No, the problem is in the viewee. Those who think the problem is the viewer don't have a grasp of biblical holiness and separation. And that comes form a mind not renewed in the Word of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 1 hour ago, Teditis said: I think it would be absurd for a random member of a congregation to come up to a stranger and suggest that they were dressed inappropriately. That's a job for the Church staff. Which brings up an integral problem for small, non-denominational churches... they usually don't have the experience and/or lay-members to monitor and "police" things of this nature. On another note, if you're having problems lusting after women that are dressed inappropriately perhaps you need to do some introspection. We don't go to church to look at other people and assess their looks... we're supposed to be focused on worship and the service. So direct your attention to where it's supposed to be and that shouldn't be on other members of the congregation. I agree. It is a job for the Church staff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 1, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,689 Content Per Day: 11.81 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 1, 2017 1 hour ago, shiloh357 said: I was visiting a church where one of the girls in the praise band was wearing a shirt or a sweater each week that looked like it was spray painted on her. It was VERY distracting during the praise and worship segment. I said something to one of the staff and I was told that the pastor had received several complaints about her, but she was his daughter and he would not confront her. I decided that was not the church for me, and I went elsewhere. Good move. That is getting a good look at who the Pastor really is. That man who is delivering God's word to you.My respect for that Pastor would go down several notches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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