Satan’s Trap: Get Offended, Get Angry, Break Relationships.

[KiwiChristian]

Satan’s Trap: Get Offended, Get Angry, Break Relationships. 

How to Handle Offences. Has Someone Offended You? 

Bible Reading: Matthew 13:18-23; John 6:60-71. 

Memory Verse: ‘Great peace have they which love thy law: & nothing shall offend them.’ Psalm 119:165 

Aim: To not get offended by what people do to us. To not offend people needlessly. Introduction: Has someone offended you lately? Was it the greatness of their offence or was it your sensitivity that caused you to feel pain? This message is addressed to both. When you were offended, how did you respond? Most people cannot handle others offending them. Even the best Christians cannot handle others offences. Our response to offences reveals what is in our minds. Offences occur at work, in church, in the home, between friends, in schools and between nations. Our response to offences will either fix the problem or make the conflict worse. 
Getting offended may mean that you cannot fix the problem. 

If you are easily offended, you will quickly drop out of church and out of serving God. If you love God and His work of soul winning, church & Bible teaching, you will be less likely to be offended or drop out. 

Muslims or Christians with an Islamic background have been educated from childhood in the anger, hatred and revenge of Mohammad as their role model. They very easily fall into this 3 step trap of Satan’s. 

I. Sins Associated with Getting Offended. Anger, hatred, revenge, grudging, unforgiveness, ingratitude, fear of confronting the offender, hardhearted, impatience, aggression, breaking communication.

II. Who in the Bible Got Offended? 

1. Cain who killed Abel. This was an unjustified offence.  
2. David was offended at Goliath for blaspheming God. (justified).  
3. Saul was offended by David’s greater popularity (unjustified).  
4. The Northern 10 tribes were offended by Rehoboam’s threat to increase their taxes and burdens. This was justified, but negotiation, time and kind words could have resovled the problem.  
5. The Pharisees, Sadducees and scribes were offended by Jesus rebuking their sins (unjustified). 
6. Some Christians get offended, drop out of church and become unfruitful. The stony ground hearer,  ‘Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.’ Matthew 13:21.  
7. The disciples when Jesus was arrested. ‘All ye shall be offended because of me this night’ Mark 14:27. 
8. People living near Jesus Christ’s return. ‘then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.’ Matthew 24:10.  

III. What are some Wrong Responses to Offences? 

1. Some get angry and abuse the offender. Don’t yell or scream at them.  

2. Some withdraw and break the friendship immediately. 

3. Some hold a grudge and refuse to forgive the offender. ‘Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned:’ James 5:9. 

4. Some take revenge, seeking to punish them. ‘Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.’ Leviticus 19:18. 

5. Some leave church and break friendships with many people who love them and have never hurt them. 

6. Responding hastily with hatred, when patience, calmness, time and kindness may have fixed the hurt. 

7. Tell many people about their offence to recruit support for yourself and to punish the offender. 

IV. What are some Right Responses to Offences? 

1. Stay calm and discover why the person offended you. Did either person misunderstand something. 

2. Maybe the offence was not as bad as I thought. 

3. Maybe the offender was a young Christian or an older Christian who was struggling with many difficult problems that I know nothing about. 

4. Maybe we should ask them to clarify their complaint so I understand them better. 

5. Maybe they are calling out for help and I need to help them with some problems they are experiencing. 

6. Maybe I should seek to rescue the friendship, rather than cutting them off.  

7. Maybe I should forgive them, love them, share some Bible verse or help them overcome some problem. 

8. Maybe I should remember the many good things they have done for me over many years. 

V. Bible Verses on Offending and Being Offended. 

1. ‘Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.’ Psalm 119:165. 

2. ‘A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a 1635  castle.’ Proverbs 18:19. 

3. ‘I (Jesus) will go and return to my place (heaven), till they (Israel) acknowledge their offence, and seek my face: in their affliction (7 year tribulation) they will seek me early.’ Hosea 5:15. 

4. ‘Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.’ Matthew 11:6. 

5. The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; Matthew 13:41. 

6. ‘They were offended in him. But Jesus said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.’ Matthew 13:57. 

7. ‘Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?’ Matthew 15:12.  

8. ‘But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.’ Mathew 16:23. 

9. ‘Notwithstanding, lest we should offend them, go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee.’ Matthew 17:27. 

10. ‘Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!’ Matthew 18:7. 

11. ‘And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.’ Mark 9:42. 

12. ‘When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?’ John 6:61 

13. ‘These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended.’ John 16:1.  

14a. Herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men. Acts 24:16 

14b. ‘Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. Romans 5:18. 

15. ‘It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.’ Romans 14:21.  

16. ‘Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God: I Cor 10:32. 

17. ‘Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed:’ 2 Corinthians 6:3.  ( Philippians 1:10  

18. ‘That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere & without offence till the day of Christ;’  

19. ‘A stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.’ I Peter 2:8. 

20. ‘For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.’ James 3:2. 

VI. Conclusion: ‘And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.’ Ephesians 4:32. ‘Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.’ Colossians 3:13. 

VII. Objection: “I want to break a relationship”. Jesus commands us to forgive others who offend us. “If he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” Luke 17:4.  If you want God to forgive you, then you must forgive others who offend you. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. Matthew 18:35. Jesus says that our aim must be to GAIN THY BROTHER, maintain the friendship, not to break the relationship. 
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” Matthew 18:15. “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Psalm 133:1. 

Conflicts  and offences are an opportunity for us to demonstrate Christ’s love, forgiveness, kindness, gentleness to the offender instead of showing anger, hatred, unforgiveness, revenge, bitterness, & grudge. “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matthew 5:44.  

Q: Why should I maintain fellowship with someone who has offended me, even tho they have repented? 

1. You may need their skills to help you in some future problem. 

2. If you don’t fully forgive them, God won’t forgive you. 

3. If you don’t fully forgive them, you may get delivered to the tormentors..