Free will, was it an easy choice?

[Guest doule]

God granted us free will knowing that we would use this precious gift to hurt ourselves and others.

I'm glad it was God who had to decide this.

Anyone who has had teenagers will understand where I am at right now and hopefully keep us in their prayers.

My youngest daughter of 17 has been by far the easiest of my 5 children to deal with as a teen, she is obedient, loves the Lord, respects others, and always wishes to act with integrity. Sounds too good to be true?

No, It's true, until you add the subject of boyfriend into the mix. She has been dating (not in the way the world views dating, but in a more conservative, supervised way) a guy who is 18, from our church for a year and a half now. She has always been taught a biblical form of purity, that isn't my fears. It's her future should she continue on this path. He claims to be a Christian, goes to church, youth group, mission trips and is always there for any youth church activities. But the obvious fruit of the Spirit isn't there. He comes from an abusive home, treats his brother and sister in a condescending manner, does not always honor his mother ( his father is in prison for beating his mom).

I've talked, preached, prayed, taught, quoted scripture, prayed, kept them apart for extended periods of time, prayed, nothing will change their minds. Although she hasn't disobeyed me, that I know of, in regards to seeing him, her decision still stands. Their intent is to stay together until marriage.

Free will, a precious gift. God gave it to us because He loved us and wanted our free will love in return. I don't want her to have it because I love her, but I also know soon I will have to let her make her own choices even though I know she will get hurt.

Many others out there make much worse choices than the ones my family is dealing with now and God knew... Before He granted it that our free will choices would cause the hurt of millions. I'm not questioning His decision, it goes both ways without the free wil to hurt their would be no free will to love.

How it must have broke God's heart .

[Christ's Free Servant]

I was one of those abused kids. I was not one of the rebellious ones. My father should have been put in jail, but my mother would never press charges. He did spend 1.5 years in a mental hospital for abusing us kids. But, then he came back home and was over us again and abused us again. My two older brothers both rebelled. So did my youngest sister. My other sister and I went the other direction. We just became very strong Christians. Our faith in Christ was our salvation in more than one way.

Even though I was a good kid, I still had personality difficulties and I faced a lot of rejection. The thing I needed most in life was for someone to love me. Some people in need of love act out that need in ways that are not good. Sometimes these young adults can be reached by love. My husband and I have a ministry with young adults, many of whom come from broken or troubled homes. They greatly respond to love. But, that doesn't always mean they will turn into good kids. Even kids who are loved greatly can turn out bad. The reason is, like you said, God has given us a free will.

Our daugther is dating a young man who is rebellious to authority. He was home schooled in a loving, Christian environment. But, he talks really bad to his mom. And, he's not real respectful with us. He would not be my choice for my daughter. But, this is the one she wants to marry. I have shared with her my concerns, but she is an adult and must make her own decision. If I tried to tear them apart, I would only lose my daughter. When a daughter is under age and lives at home you have more control. Mine is not.

I guess what I'm saying is that I understand what it is like to be the abused kid from a terrible home and to not have people like me, but to desperately need to be loved. And, I know what it is like to have a daugther who is semi-engaged to a young man I don't approve of. Your daugther is under age, so you can certainly restrict her dating of this young man. I would suggest that you try to get to know him, which is what I need to do with my daughter's boyfriend, too. See how he would respond to your love. Be honest with your daugther about your concerns, and certainly set limits for now, but keep the doors of communication open between you and your daugther. You don't want to lose her.

I am sorry if you were not looking for any advice. This was free of charge.