why does doing the right thing hurt so bad

[Guest RNay]

For four years my husband has been doing methamphetamines and I didn't know for sure. About a year ago, i found drugs and questioned him. He apologized and swore he was not making a habit of it and because of my love for him, i believed he was being sincere. Since that time, I have caught him 2 or three more times and the last time, I told him I would leave if it happened again. Well of course, it did and after thousands of dollars have disappeared from the savings account and I can see past the filter of my love for a relationship that I wanted so bad to keep, I had to leave.

What a terrible situation because I only wanted him to get help and I would have stayed to support him every step of the way. He hasn't quite made it to the step where he believes that he has a problem and has only apologized to me for lying about the drugs ( because he is extremely nice when he is high, so he thinks I should be happy for that). I am a recovered drug addict (6 years now) and he put me in a situation where I had to choose between my commitment to him or my commitment to myself my children and God. I gave him several chances, but he failed. My best friend says I did the right thing by leaving (i wont file for divorce, i will wait for him to get help ), but another friend says i failed with my commitment to love for better or worse. I still love him, but he has become an unsafe person for myself and my children.

My struggle is with the idea that he may not get help and it seems that he is doing just fine without me ( moving on, i guess you could say). I am working two jobs to support my decision to leave, and in the meantime...I am still a full time student at a university where i only have a couple of years left (I've made it through 6 years of school so far. One of my jobs is a caregiver for my husbands mother. She had a stroke and needs full time care ( i spend about 20 hours a week) and I also do the bookkeeping for the family business. So I am financially and emotionally tied into his family and i dont want to be without them. I continue to go to church and i have a great support group there, and i have a friend that is supportive and I pray to God and he helps me through the day, but I am so afraid of losing my marraige (it actually seems like I've already lost since I'm not there anymore) and such a big part of me doesnt want to move on even though it feels right (in a strange way) and my children are happy these days so I remind myself that makes all the pain OK

Am I on the right track? God doesnt like divorce, but he is the one who told me to go? Advice please

[Lea-anne]

Hi RNay

I don't think your move was wrong. I think the first thing I would think of in this situation is my kids, which you did. That's no environment for any child. And it's not like you want a divorce. God knows your heart. You asl why it's so hard to make the right decisions. You love him and you don't want a divorce. Deep inside you know what's write from wrong and if you feel God helped you make a choice then you know it must be the right one.

You can't fight for someone elses salvation. The best you can do is pray for him.

You and you family will be in out prayers.

God Bless

[Guest serrae]

Hi RNay

I don't think your move was wrong.  I think the first thing I would think of in this situation is my kids, which you did.  That's no environment for any child.  And it's not like you want a divorce.  God knows your heart.  You asl why it's so hard to make the right decisions.  You love him and you don't want a divorce.  Deep inside you know what's write from wrong and if you feel God helped you make a choice then you know it must be the right one.

You can't fight for someone elses salvation.  The best you can do is pray for him.

You and you family will be in out prayers.

God Bless

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Guest serrae]

Hi RNay

I don't think your move was wrong.

[Guest serrae]

Hi RNay

I don't think your move was wrong.

[Fiosh]

RNay,

There is no doubt in my mind that you did the right thing.

Unfortunately, sometimes a drug addict's world needs to crash before they can see the heartache they've caused for themselves and those that they love.

From all that you have on your shoulders, it is nothing less than God's love and strength that are holding you up. Continue to trust in Him.

Pray for your husband; and let him fail on his own. Hopefully, one day he'll come to Christ for the help he needs.

God bless you,

Fiosh

[Fiosh]

Oh...one more thought.

You ask why does doing the right thing hurt so much?

Think of Jesus.

Did doing the right thing ever hurt anyone more?

In His Love,

Fiosh

[visionary]

God bless and continue to bless you. This valley that you are travelling through wll strengthen you and with a closer relationship with the Lord will bless you. Use this time to grow, and continue in the work that you have set yourself to do, and God will bless you. Focus now more than ever on those things before you.

Pray for your love but leave Him in God's hands. Pray for His salvation, pray continually for the Lord to work in His life, pray that mighty angels are around Him. Pray that your love is taken into the Lord's presence. Pray for your love to have an experience with the Lord that he can not denie. Pray that the evil influences in his life are taken away. Pray that things will happen in your loves l ife that shock him into realising the error of his ways. Believe that the Lord will do each and every one of these and then watch to see the Lord work. If you do not see it ask the Lord to open up your eyes so that you may see. Ask the Lord to open up your ears so that you may hear. That way you can be more active and proactive in your prayers for your love's salvation.