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do you feel (know) you were the victim of child abuse


createdequal

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15 minutes ago, Godismyloveforever said:

So, did they forgive him at the moment he killed these people in order to avoid being a snowflake, or while being a snowflake they went through some type of process to come to forgiveness; thus allowing them to stop being a snowflake?

 

It matters? They obviously had a full array of reactions, fear, shock,  flight from danger, as well as heroic countering of the real killing going on, where nine of them died. 

Time passes, and by the time they faced the killer  at  court and at sentencing they heard his diatribe of hatred and responded with their profession of forgiveness. I think they walked away the healthier for it. I know they did because they grabbed onto the faith of Jesus at the time of their lives and just held on. 

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On 8/21/2019 at 4:04 PM, createdequal said:

I am just wondering the % of people who think/feel/know they were abused as children?

Abuse is a subjective term a lot of the time. But I speak of objective abuse: being slapped hard, being denied necessary food/water as punishment, etc.

I ask because whatever happens to us in childhood affects who we are at our core.. and affects us the rest of our lives.. shapes our destiny in so many ways

Back to the opening inquiry.

 I suspect everyone thinks they were abused as a kid felt it was real abuse and probably it was real - but not always, as became documented during the awful trial of the McMartins at the prosecution/persecution by the LA District attorney.  It turned out professional counselors had successfully  implanted memories of abuse  into preschool age children by the methodology of their questioning techniques. Not deliberate, but biased. Today  absolute falsehoods become criminal accusations against adults by children bent upon causing havoc. The children perhaps even talk themselves into false memories, eventually believing their own made up adventures in abuse.

NONETHELESS children  have to be protected!!! And with today's technology it is easier  yet expensive to do that to some great success.In families it is still harder, but again the bent towards protecting a child can lead to  some  even more awful results for the child. Plus accusations can result in  State criminal authorities taking over a family and putting a child into  even worse situations with so called foster care. It gets pretty darn hard some days.

Yet at some point the victim whoever it is, has opportunity to  decide not to let the past rule over today. Forgiving the seemingly unforgivable is I believe the way to success and to freedom from the abuse of yesterdays.

Others can choose to disagree of course, but that is my own experience and what I have witnessed as well as lived.

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1 hour ago, maryjayne said:

Do you take this same stance on someone who has been paralyzesed in a road accident? or had a head injury affecting their brain I wonder? or someone with epilepsy or type 1 diabetes?

I suggest that you are missing what I have tried to communicate entirely, perhaps  I am inarticulate.  My answer to to your question is no,  I think, as I do not see connecting the dots in manner  you are trying to do.

Some of us are born paralyzed, disfigured. Some of us  hurt ourselves or get horribly injured in accident, by disease,  at war.  Can't change that, the result is what it is. It is not beneficial to ask the question who's fault is it, the person's or the parent, the government, or who, who does one blame? There is no gain to be found in assessing blame, except perhaps financial profit but that never compensates fully does it?

The hurt is there, the nightmares the daydream adventures into terror are there. What one can do is forgive, and then accept. Forgive any trespass that may have occurred including deliberate violence. Plus accept that  God has known  of this from before the beginning. Wow  God has known? Why has He not stopped it from before the beginning? Now there is a question that might be asked, and is often enough. There  are reasons, some explained, perhaps many known only  by God. But there are reasons that babies have been thrown into rivers to drown, that captive armies have had  hooks placed into their jaws, that believers have been put to real fire, and on and on.

 I suggest that deciding one cannot function anymore because of trauma is fallacious, and self defeating. At some point the sufferer can  indeed chose to decide no more, I take back control  by God's grace and mercy upon me. I take back control from that which seemed to  take it away  from me. I will no longer be locked up in suffering  great angst towards my oppressors, those that hurt me.

Has little to do with flashbacks and more to do with overcoming hatred.

Just a simple cleansing of the body via fasting and water will cause the physical sites of many old injuries to call out to me yet again in powerfully painful ways. It may drop me to the ground in such pain I cannot even breath. The original injury and it's cause will indeed be remembered, but it need not be controling of me. I can instead be in control through Jesus who tells me forgive, and be forgiven. With time I either get to breath again, or I die and get to see my Lord up close and personal. Yet I need not return to the old battle ground of blaming anyone, as I have forgiven.  It is done with, that old battleground is a place set for continuing defeat of me. So I choose not to visit it and play the adversary's game, for he and his minions are  better at it than me. My Lord showed me the better way for me, as He spoke  at the cross - He asked, Father forgive them,...

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For me yes! It was just that simple, forgive. May have taken half a lifetime to learn, but yep that was it. 

The thread started out with the question do you feel you were a victim. I am stating there need not be a life long surrendering to victimization. Yes it is as simple as that,-  by God's grace it is that simple.

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35 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

deciding one cannot function anymore because of trauma" Again its not a decision one makes

Sure it is. Obviously one must make changes in how, but one can function, some do  brilliantly. They leave me awestruck.

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2 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

I am genuinely happy for you. Really truly. It would appear that your problem was simply one of needing to forgive.

For others, its more complex. I ask you to recognise that, for some, forgiveness is not the whole story on the path to healing. Or even part of the story. Just as illness can have many causes and treatments.

Thank you. I leave you the last word on the subject. 

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Yes without a doubt.

I have memories of being smothered as a child - and worse.

These were not "suggested memories" but things I remember.

Not to mention an abusive upbringing by strict Christian parents who beat the life out of me at every opportunity - hands, fists, shoes or whatever else was close at hand. Give my Father credit - he really did subscribe to the verse about "spare the rod and hate the son". Memories of being bent over and caned as a four year old...I suppose that was "love" then.

 

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17 hours ago, SeraTaru said:

Yes without a doubt.

I have memories of being smothered as a child - and worse.

These were not "suggested memories" but things I remember.

Not to mention an abusive upbringing by strict Christian parents who beat the life out of me at every opportunity - hands, fists, shoes or whatever else was close at hand. Give my Father credit - he really did subscribe to the verse about "spare the rod and hate the son". Memories of being bent over and caned as a four year old...I suppose that was "love" then.

 

I guess the opening post related question might be have you forgiven?  Also, have you then been set free of any "limits" as to what you can accomplish  in the name of our Lord? Or do you feel limited because of  hard times in childhood?

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And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25 

Edited by Neighbor
Hopefully reduced to that which is succinct enough .
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On 8/21/2019 at 4:04 PM, createdequal said:

I am just wondering the % of people who think/feel/know they were abused as children?

Abuse is a subjective term a lot of the time. But I speak of objective abuse: being slapped hard, being denied necessary food/water as punishment, etc.

I ask because whatever happens to us in childhood affects who we are at our core.. and affects us the rest of our lives.. shapes our destiny in so many ways

So createdequal have you gained a knowledge of a percentage by this thread's responses? 

You state abuse shapes our destinies in so many ways. Do you have statistical data on that? How does one make such a conclusion?

 As for me: My own destiny has not been shaped, nor am I defined, by any abuse of me. To my great surprise I was made aware by God the Holy Spirit that  it has been God that has foreknown and predestined me. I think that is the case with 100% of those that have been given to Jesus as His own.

I don't really know if that is the case with those not given Him.

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