I’m Struggling and Need Help

[ReneeIW]

18 hours ago, $teven said:

Despite what he's done, he's done it under the banner of the family of God.  This means it's somewhat of a family affair

I’m going to get in trouble for this but yesterday I exchanged a few emails with the author of The Shack. He is a good friend of the man who hurt me. He actually said the opposite of what you said. He said:

“Anyone who knows my story also knows that I did exactly that myself. Exposure is not a bad thing, in fact it usually is required for people to come to healing. From what I understand, —— has been plenty exposed and appears to be working at reconciliation and change. “ 

i blanked out the name of the man who hurt me, but in any case, his friend is saying he thinks exposure is good. And he is a good friend of the man who hurt me. Unfortunately, he copied the man on the email. When I saw his email address copied, I got in the bed in a fetal position and was like that for hours. I will stop complaining about pain, especially because I know many have been through much,  much worse.  but at this time, I could careless about tarnishing a family name. They need to worry about tarnishing the name before they hurt others 

 

[BeauJangles]

On 9/2/2019 at 3:41 PM, john1 said:

It is a burden to a lot of women, I don't know what percentage are raped, but 1 in 5 girls are molested, I would pray and continue to pray.

Those are dismal odds. Apologies for going off topic here, but I feel this needs mentioning. One that gets less acknowledgement, is the rate of young boys and adolescents that are molested. That would be a rate of 1 in 6. Also not good. 

The 1 in 6 Statistic - Sexual Abuse and Assault of Boys ...

https://1in6.org/get-information/the-1-in-6-statistic

A 2003 national study of U.S. adults reported that 14.2% of men were sexually abused before the age of 18.2; A 1998 study reviewing research on male childhood sexual abuse concluded that the problems is “common, under-reported, under-recognized, and under-treated.

Sexual Assault of Men and Boys | RAINN

https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault-men-and-boys

Men who were sexually abused as boys or teens may also respond differently than men who were sexually assaulted as adults. Some of the common experiences shared by men and boys who have survived sexual assaulted. It may help you to know that other people are having similar experiences. 

What percentage of priests abuse - Religious Tolerance

www.religioustolerance.org/clergy_sex8a.htm

Most priest offenders, we vicars agreed, acted out against teenage boys." 5,6 More recently, in 2002, he quoted other estimates that "90 percent to 95 percent, and some estimates say as high as 98 percent of the victims of clergy acting out [are] teenage boys."

Edited September 4, 2019 by BeauJangles

[ReneeIW]

32 minutes ago, BeauJangles said:

Those are dismal odds. Apologies for going off topic here, but I feel this needs mentioning. One that gets less acknowledgement, is the rate of young boys and adolescents that are molested. That would be a rate of 1 in 6. Also not good.

I wasn’t aware that this received less acknowledgement.when I was growing up,  I remember hearing about John Wayne Gacy. After his crimes were brought to light, it seemed as though everyone was made aware of the abuse against young boys. And then of course the Catholic Church Scandal shed even more light on the issue. And it seems as though everyone believes men when they tell their stories. They are even celebrated for coming forward. Women, on the other hand, are told to be quiet and convinced they should feel ashamed of their sexual victimization.

I’m going slightly off topic too,  but I think most women live in fear everyday.We avoid jogging alone or at certain times of the day. We cross the street at night if men are coming towards us. We give our daughters advice about safety on first dates and how to stay safe on college campuses . We comfort each other when we learn of a husband’s infidelity, or learn of a sexual assault, or sexual harassment at work or a groping in a crowd.

Unfortunately, no one cares about adult women and their struggles. If you are underage and you come forward you will find some support. If you are not underage you are sometimes blamed for what happened to you, discredited, judged and picked apart. And all this just leads to revictimization and  additional trauma.

 

 

Edited September 4, 2019 by ReneeIW

[ReneeIW]

2 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

What I had to share was so shocking, they dissociated from it by pushing me away

I’m very sorry you went through this and I have heard others say the same thing. 

[JTC]

28 minutes ago, ReneeIW said:

Unfortunately, no one cares about adult women and their struggles. If you are underage and you come forward you will find some support. If you are not underage you are sometimes blamed for what happened to you, discredited, judged and picked apart. And all this just leads to re-victimization and  additional trauma.

I know what you mean, but it isn't this bad. I care and I always have. I met the first girl who was a victim when I was 17. The Lord must have been in this bc the rest of my life was full of girls & women that were victims. I know we aren't supposed to hate, but that's how I feel about men who do this stuff.

   It is true that being female carries risks usually not associated with being male. Women really have come a long way since the 1960's but I guess there's still a long way to go. I believe someday there will be equality.

[ReneeIW]

19 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

It may be of interest that the men in your list of "friends" to your perp, are very much connected to the system who perpetrated against myself and many many others (even till this day).  I hope that made sense.  But this is no small thing.  

Can you tell me more about how you believe they are connected?

Also, I saw Jostler’s thread about mind control. Are prophets who claim to read minds similar to that? In Jack Deere’s book, on page 179-180, he talks about being warned by John Wimber not to meet with a group of prophets who claim to read minds or know the future etc., but he ignored the warning  and went to meet with them in the basement of a church. He claims they told him everything about his life- things that no one could have known unless they were a prophet. I thought pastors were not to engage psychics etc., so I’m not surprised to hear that some pastors have ventured into mind control.

[ReneeIW]

33 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

I think that when more men step into their God-given roles, women and

This is true, but be careful.  

The reason why part of my story ended up in the press(although they did not report it accurately at all!) was because a VERY powerful man(he was referred to by the WSJ as one of the most powerful in the country) came forward and said he had done work with victims such as myself and wanted to help me reconcile with my offender and also wanted to bring healing to myself.

 He was on the board of the organization that my offender started. After communicating with this man for 10 days, I realized he was very close friends with my offender, so I emailed him letting him know I thought we should end our communications. He emailed me back claiming he was afraid my offender was going to hurt himself or me. He asked if he could meet with me in person. I turned down the invitation but we kept communicating through email and texts and he eventually set up a mediation through a Christian mediation service.

He then traveled to my state and begged me to come have sex with him and described  what sex acts he wanted me to perform. When I reported him, he started threatening me(because I had all the texts he sent with the sexual stuff in it) he had me investigated, sent people to my home etc. and ended up getting fired . Before this he had a stellar reputation as a devout Christian who served on many Christian boards and had helped many women .

so exploitation begets exploitation. Do not underestimate a man’s willingness to exploit a woman who has already been exploited and victimized. And don’t trust the press either.

Edited September 4, 2019 by ReneeIW

[ReneeIW]

4 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

God does give gifts of knowledge and prophecy.  But there is a counterfeit to everything God does, within the satanic realm.  I'd be more inclined to think that this "prophet" knew things about Deere's life from more shifty sources.  (I could be wrong.)  And wow, that's kinda strange to meet in a basement for a prophetic word.  

About the connection ... within that list of "friends" to your perp is someone well known among survivors of SRA and MK Ultra as someone who is a sexual predator.  I've shared it elsewhere on this forum and it is not well received.  But the most prominent name on your list (who is no longer with us), is not only a victim of SRA and MK himself, but was groomed from childhood to go into "the ministry" and to he a handler to other SRA/MK victims.  He was conditioned from childhood to be a cult handler, and thus, a perp who committed terrible crimes against children and women.  

Wow, this is  too much for me to process right now.

[ReneeIW]

1 minute ago, Abby-Joy said:

Yes, sis ... I found out a long time ago how deep and how high up the corruption goes.  One of my latest attempts on my life was by a retired police officer whose crime was covered and never properly reported by the officers who came to my house.  The one officer who tried to help me was silenced.  

There is a web ... a network ... they know their own and they will go to great lengths to cover their own.  This is why I say you need daily prayer cover.  

Oh dear. That is very scary. I think your situation is different from mine and much worse.Will keep you in my prayers as well. I was actually kind of happy my story was covered in the press and many lawyers were involved, so there are not many secrets left. Just details about sexual deviancy. Obviously they don’t want a tell all book, but many of my accusations against them  have already  been published.

[ReneeIW]

7 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

Please accept my apologies, sis .... you have plenty enough to deal with .... praying for you!  

No apologies necessary! And eventually I want to hear more about it. It’s just hard to process the fact that these leaders that I once admired were groomed from childhood. But I don’t doubt it based on what I have experienced and the way some people’s public personas differ greatly from how they are in private.

Edited September 4, 2019 by ReneeIW