If You Wish You Didn’t Exist

[Guest clancy]

9 hours ago, Fidei Defensor said:

They can be a comfort to read when you are in the black hole of futility and feeling like nothing matters. 

Too often brethern engage in apologetics to try and help bolster the faith of the one in the abyss of futility, when they need to know this feeling is normal, and to have some company in their feeling, “Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].” (Romans 12:15).  

Amen!!

[Guest clancy]

7 hours ago, Fidei Defensor said:

I wasn’t claiming sit in the dark, of course tout the “blessed Hope,” but discernfully, allowing the person to express their feelings of futility like King Solomon in Ecclestastes 1:1-4, 14 but also pray with them casting the abyss on Christ: 

“casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].” (1 Peter 5:7) 

Rembering Christ can get us through, He experienced the abyss and futility at Gethsename and Calvary. 

A BIG, AMEN!!!

[Guest clancy]

Can I also share, in those depths of despair i was in..i was bed ridden for 3 yrs..I had a personal carer,I was in a wheelchair,I was hospitalised x 2....this is probably minor, to what others have gone through.....

But,God was in that situation and brought me through....so, for those who are in despair...I hope this helps you a little....

Just know that God is in it with you, keep your eye fixed on him....not easy though,when you’re in it.....I only know too well.

God Bless you Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

[David1701]

13 hours ago, clancy said:

“We “need to know the way out......

What I’m going to say of my own personal walk with the Lord ,David.

“I “needed to know nothing on how to get out of my depths of despair, I was in it for a reason....I learnt so much from it.....it changed my life....it was the Lord who brought me out of it...

Just my belief,David....nothing personal to you.

Nobody, in the depths of despair, wants to stay there.  Yes, looking back, you can see how the Lord used it; but, while in it, you want to get out.

[debrakay]

On 7/30/2020 at 1:45 PM, Chicken coop2 said:

When I was 9 years old I started praying to God every day to kill me.

Few years ago I attempted suicide by hanging.  

I felt myself leaving my body. 

Then I heard a voice yell no.

Then like an explosion. 

There I was on the floor trying to figure out what happened. 

The rope broke. 

I still want to go as soon as possible. 

However, God's will not mine. 

So, what I do now is not commit suicide one day at a time. 

Every night at midnight I promise God I will not commit suicide for this new day. 

And I pray to Him to help me not break that promise. 

I posted this in case my system can help others. 

Life can be so overwhelming one day at a time helps. 

Let us endure one day at a time and focus on the Kingdom of God. 

Oh dear CC2!  My thoughts and prayers for each of your days!  While I have never come to the point of self destruction many of us understand the day to day focus on the Lord to just keep getting us through one day at a time!  Each day I have to find something to be joyful about.  Each day I have to find something to hope in.  Each day I have to ask the Lord to show me what he wants from me for the day.  Yesterday was a mess.  Tomorrow will most certainly be a mess.  Today I feel the presence of the Lord with me giving me a reason to breathe for the rest of the day.  We live in a world today that cannot be explained in terms of goodness, mercy, loving kindness, justice, morality, hope, equality, equity, unity, tolerance, and all of the other human conditions of the heart.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made and to question the Creator is just impossible for my human brain.  Your testimony is here for others to gain insight and knowledge from and to questions their own heart, their own motives, their own walk with God.  Blessings and peace be upon you each and every day!

[debrakay]

12 hours ago, clancy said:

Can I also share, in those depths of despair i was in..i was bed ridden for 3 yrs..I had a personal carer,I was in a wheelchair,I was hospitalised x 2....this is probably minor, to what others have gone through.....

But,God was in that situation and brought me through....so, for those who are in despair...I hope this helps you a little....

Just know that God is in it with you, keep your eye fixed on him....not easy though,when you’re in it.....I only know too well.

God Bless you Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

There is never anything "minor" in our lives to our Lord.  He has told us we are far more important than the flowers of the fields and the birds of the air!  Our every single breath is important to Him!  Our trials and tribulations are our testimony of enduring and running the race to the finish line!

I have had two surgery's in my 67 year life.  One Cesarean Section at age 25 and one brain tumor removal at age 64.  For the brain tumor journey all I did was preach the Lord Jesus Christ to the doctors and nurses and whomever would listen, from the time I was taken by ambulance to two hospitals, through the diagnosis of the tumor, to the removal of the tumor 3 days after finding it, to the 5 day recovery period after the surgery.  They could not shut me up for I felt the power of the Holy Spirit upon me to preach the Good News to all ears around me!  I had never been this kind of person before this time and only spoke about the Lord in familiar circles.  I have no idea which ears heard the words, which hearts felt the words, or any of those kinds of questions.  I only know the Lord wanted me to plant seeds and that is what I did.  The tumor was benign and all I have left is a hole in the back of my skull to remind me of the journey.  That and a Christian women's encouragement group meeting at my house once a month since that time!  God. Always. Has. A. Plan.

[Guest clancy]

44 minutes ago, David1701 said:

Nobody, in the depths of despair, wants to stay there.  Yes, looking back, you can see how the Lord used it; but, while in it, you want to get out.

Amen!

[Henry_iain]

Amen

[Starise]

3 hours ago, Don19 said:

No, it isn't. I  hate this life.

@Don19 If you confessed the sin it is forgiven. This is what I intended in saying the sin is behind you. God doesn't see our sin if we confessed it to Him.

NOW if you still struggle with an addiction it is understandable you would hate your life, hate yourself and maybe even hate others. Addicted people are miserable people when they don't have their fix. 

If you are truly saved God won't let you go. I will pray the Lord sends the help you need and ask other here to do the same. Don't give up. Hang in there.

[Don19]

Just now, Starise said:

@Don19 If you confessed the sin it is forgiven.

No, it doesn't matter whether I confessed it or not. All my sins or forgiven, eternally. But temporally is another matter. Do you know what the parables mean? The prodigal son, the virgins, the end Matthew 24, the talents, the workers in the vineyard, and others.