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I wrote this to another brother in Christ, and I thought it was worth sharing. A lot of us get overwhelmed by despair. Even in Bunyan’s classic Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian is nearly crushed by the Giant Despair. If despair is filling you with feelings of wishing to not exist because of pain and horrible things you’ve endured, take heart that you are actually in good company: King Solomon felt this way: “1 Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them. 2 And I thought the dead who are already dead more fortunate than the living who are still alive. 3 But better than both is he who has not yet been and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun.” - Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, but then he said after the dark period of the soul: “13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Reverence God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” - Ecclesiastes 12:13-14. The Prophet Jeremiah despaired and wished he never was: “Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land! I have not lent, nor have I borrowed, yet all of them curse me.” - Jeremiah 15:10 And yet He made it through and God revealed the coming New Covenant in Christ to Him, “31 "Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, 32 not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. 33 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34 And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more." - Jeremiah 31:31-34 Then there is Job who lost everything and said: “1 After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. 2 And Job said: 3 "Let the day perish on which I was born, and the night that said, 'A man is conceived.' 4 Let that day be darkness! May God above not seek it, nor light shine upon it. 5 Let gloom and deep darkness claim it. Let clouds dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it. 6 That night-let thick darkness seize it! Let it not rejoice among the days of the year; let it not come into the number of the months. 7 Behold, let that night be barren; let no joyful cry enter it. 8 Let those curse it who curse the day, who are ready to rouse up Leviathan. 9 Let the stars of its dawn be dark; let it hope for light, but have none, nor see the eyelids of the morning, 10 because it did not shut the doors of my mother's womb, nor hide trouble from my eyes. 11 "Why did I not die at birth, come out from the womb and expire? 12 Why did the knees receive me? Or why the breasts, that I should nurse? 13 For then I would have lain down and been quiet; I would have slept; then I would have been at rest, 14 with kings and counselors of the earth who rebuilt ruins for themselves, 15 or with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver. 16 Or why was I not as a hidden stillborn child, as infants who never see the light?” - Job 3:1-16 “18 "Why did you bring me out from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me 19 and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave. 20 Are not my days few? Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer.” - Job 10:18-20 And yet Job talked directly with God and all was restored: “And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” - Job 42:10 For us Christ promises in the next life of we endure in this one: “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” - Matthew 19:29 Let us remember our Lord God Jesus is not unfamiliar with suffering: I. As Child he was being hunted by Herod who wanted him killed, “When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi.” (Matthew 2:16) II. Jesus was born homeless, no toom at the inn, “And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:7) III. Jesus was refugee, “When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him” (Matthew 2:13) IV. Jesus was persecuted by His family, “One time Jesus entered a house, and the crowds began to gather again. Soon he and his disciples couldn’t even find time to eat.When his family heard what was happening, they tried to take him away. “He’s out of his mind,” they said.” (Mark 3:20-21) This is why later He says this, “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him. They stood outside and sent word for him to come out and talk with them. There was a crowd sitting around Jesus, and someone said, “Your mother and your brothers are outside asking for you.”Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?”Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will (John 6:40, believe in Jesus as Son of God) is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35). This continued, “Since You are doing these things, show Yourself to the world.” For even His own brothers did not believe in Him.” (John 7:4-5). In fact the only half brother (son of Joseph and Mary see Matthew 1:24-25) who believes eventually is James who wrote The Book of James. V. Jesus lived homeless, “Jesus replied, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” (Matthew 8:20) VI. People were constantly trying to murder Jesus, “5 And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. 6 The Pharisees went out and immediately held counsel with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him.” (Mark 3:5-6) VII. Jesus was was so stressed his sweat/ wept blood, “And having been in agony, He was praying more earnestly. And His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down upon the ground” (Luke 22:44) Medical science calls this, “Hematohidrosis is a rare condition in which a human being sweats blood.” VIII. Jesus was flogged with cat-o-nine tails which is whips with spikes and glass tips, “Then Pilate had Jesus flogged with a lead-tipped whip, The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe, and went up to him again and again, saying, "Hail, king of the Jews!" And they slapped him in the face” (John 19:1-3) IX: Jesus was nailed to a cross, “The soldiers nailed Jesus to a cross.” (Matthew 27:35), “Many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and it was written in Aramaic, in Latin, and in Greek,” (John 19:20), X. He Affixated, suffocated to death, “When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” (John 19:30) XI. And when He rose from the dead He bore all of these scars, “As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord!” (John 20:20). Truly He was, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” (Isaiah 53:3) And yet He went through Great Suffering to save our souls. Remember Christ said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” (John 15:18) Our God Jesus Christ is not unable to fellowship our sufferings, but has suffered all things so that He may intercede for us. Remeber He holds your tears in a bottle, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8). That is the kind of God we serve, He fellowships in our sufferings and keeps all our tears on his book, and oneday will wipe away all tears, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) Amen.

Hi, I have a friend who has dealt with a lot of mental challenges in her life, including depression. She's been on meds (partially by force and not simply by choice) for much of her teenage and adulthood (she's in her mid-20s). This past week, she has been claiming to be severely depressed by reoccurring doubts that are plaguing her. She claims that she isn't sure she really believes in God's truth (but she is more worried about the doubt than it deserves in my opinion), and that her decisions are leading her down a terrible path. The irony is that, yes, she has definitely made a lot of bad -- at least bad to me -- decisions, but I know that God still loves her and is walking with her. Today she messaged me that she felt suicidal, but also assured me that she would not act on it. I've been down that road before and I'm apt to believe her at this time, but I don't know for sure how I should respond. Was wondering what you might tell a friend who feels like a no-good burden and is far too hard on herself for her flaws, to the point of excessive worrying and fatalistic mindset. I don't want to encourage any erratic behavior, but I am also not so sure she would enjoy ending up in a mental hospital again (for the second time in the last month). I briefly considered taking her while we were hanging out today, and I know it sounds kind of odd, but I think there is a spiritual warfare aspect to this alongside the other mental issues she's already struggling with. She isn't sure what to make of it all, and I guess I don't know either. It's a strange and probably difficult situation, but I'd appreciate any experience or advice I might be able to pass along to her as a friend. She is certainly trying to better herself, but right now it isn't working out the best for her. Thanks!

Hi. I have not been on here in a while. But I hope all of you are well. My reason for posting this is, I hope you will pray for my family. When i go, I don’t want them to feel much pain for me, but I just don’t believe I could get better through people praying for me. So I already have a plan. I just ask for you guys to pray for them. There are many people on here who have prayed for me so thank you. Maybe this is an outcry for something idk, but I decided that it will not get better for me. My social anxiety has DESTROYED my life. My faith is non existent. I am just a lonely HS senior whose tried God and the church. But I don’t want to go into detail about my life, there’s too much. There are probably people out there who are much worse, but they are stronger than me. Farewell.

Hello Lately it seems that everywhere in the news, your workplace and even very close to home people are choosing to take there own lives. I believe that this goes against God. I don't believe that one can ask for forgiveness before a premeditated sin. I feel that if one takes there life into there own hands that They have stepped out of the hand of God. They have basically stolen what belonged to God if Christ was there savior. I also believe that Satan in the author of confusion and all that is opposite of God. There is no peace of mind it seems for the one who willing took there life nor for those left behind except through Christ, who offers willing to anyone who calls upon him. I have heard many sides to the extremely heart wrenching subject and have been effected closely with four individuals that were either related or those I know personally, however I can't find anything that gives me peace of mind in changing my beliefs about this subject. I have studied the bible and those who attempted suicide but was brought back and there were none positive. They all experienced the horrible reality of Hell. Being new, I was wondering if you have material on this subject. Thank you

Hello, everyone. I am extremely new to this site. I've searched around for various Christian forums just hoping somebody can help me. I don't mean to offend anybody or bring any type of discomfort to this forum. I especially hope I get no violations. This is a really heavy issue on my heart. I am extremely at the end of my rope with depression and anxiety, but what makes it all worse is how the world views me in this dark body God gave me. I have asked God why this color? Why not make me Asian or Native American? I tried telling myself that He made me black because it pleased him. Why should he care what the world thinks, or form me in the matter what would fit society's standards? I've tried convincing myself that God does not cater to how poorly we human beings view each other. Racism wasn't His fault. He is a supreme being over the created. I've tried convincing myself that only his thoughts about me matter. I've tried looking at the big picture that one day, all of us will unite with him and experience the real TRUTH about EVERYTHING. But none of this convincing is working. Deep down, I know there is nothing wrong with my skin color, or the hair texture that I have, or the physical features. If there was no racism or the harsh systems against my people, I would be able to walk down the street proudly. However, when you live in a world where DAILY, somebody is reminding you that your skin color is a problem, it starts to get to you...for years and years and years and years. It's like beating up a dog everyday where the dog will eventually think it did something wrong. Social Media is a terrible and evil tool for people to manifest their true feelings about me and my race. I have seen so many cruel things, such as: 1. African't (word CAN'T) as if we can't do anything. As if it's in our DNA to fail, or that we need extra help, or that we're born to suffer. 2. It is believed we aren't civilized. No matter how nice I am, or how wide of a smile I put on my face, I will always be regarded as another black animal. I know I tend to fool people once they hear me speak or experience my personality. I always hope that the mugshots shown on the daily news about a murder or robbery isn't of my race because what one black person does, the rest of the black people are also at fault for it. We are not individually judged, but judged as a whole. 3. We have dirt and less developed countries 4. Slavery was our fault (and even if we were handed over by our brothers and sisters, that still does not excuse the terrible unspeakable things that happened to us.) And even when it was 400 years ago, traces of it are still affecting us today. My ancestors didn't get to own businesses or have land passed down through their generation of future families. I was never able to relate to white folks who talk about the family lineage or how far down the they count their family ancestry. I can't. My history is silent, yet it screams of blood. 5. I am guaranteed at least once a month to see somebody say I'm ugly (not directly), or black women are the least desired all over the world, that their own men don't want them, whether it's to an Indian man, Asian man, White man, or even African man. Men of various races always obsess and desire a White woman. it is NEVER ever ever ever ever anybody that looks like me. And I'm not saying I need their approval, but, it will just feel nice to know that I may look beautiful to somebody every once and a while. I will never or hardly ever in my life see a man of any race say something decent about me. We're not on billboards. We're not on TV with commercials glorifying our skin or looks. When I was a kid white Barbie dolls were heavily emphasized in commercials. The other minority dolls only showed up right at the end of the commercial. I broke my mother's heart when I told her to take back the black doll she gave me. We're never even in video games where we can enjoy cool characters. And if we are in video games, we have very insignificant roles. In movies, we're always portrayed in a very stereotypical ways. 6. Other black people make it harder to be black. Like the Mugshot I just spoke of. I can name so many problems, like falling into gang relations, or having an obnoxious loud attitude, or have terrible customer service in various employment. Some stereotypes are unfortunately true, but it affects m as well. 7. We have the worst health issues. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart diseases, mental illness, Sickle Cell, Lupus, and STD crisis; one of the least healthiest people on the planet. 8. We are regarded as less worthy. 9. Everything a black person does is a big deal. While I get that our names may sound funny, we can't even create our own names without ridiculing. No one ever questions why Asian people have the names the have, or the Arabs, and Indians, and other races of people, but if it's a black person, we need to just have white names. What about owning a business. Black businesses are perceived as low quality. Mexicans and Asians can whip up a business and people will flock to them like crazy. We're not allowed to have a bad day or express anger because if we do, we're being violent, or it's the 'uh-oh, and angry black man/woman!' 10. We are not welcomed anywhere on the planet. 11. We are a totally misunderstood race of people. 12. Racial tensions drive me crazy. Just the insensitive and lack of willingness to even understand a black person's place or their situations. We're told to 'get over it' or 'it's your fault', or 'stop playing the victim', or 'you're looking at things at a wrong perspective'. I am going mad. Nobody understands us, nor do they want to. We are the loneliness race on planet earth. No matter how much we shout and cry and plead, nobody hears us. Nothing changes. Not even God will do anything. Black people fill up the churches like crazy and can be some of the most God-fearing people, yet we're still severely oppressed I am emotionally tired. I feel like I just want to go sleep and never wake up. My depression and anxiety have gotten so bad that my body doesn't feel the same anymore. Sunday night I cried to God so hard that I could barely breathe. What was He thinking to even create me? I feel so terrible because I grew up with a wonderful childhood to two of the most amazing parents and a high-spirited family, but they have no idea I'm saying these things. Suicide feels really nice, but it will crush the people around me. I'm 31 years old, and suicide has been chasing me for years and it is constantly getting closer and closer. I read the bible and I pray, and it doesn't work, or the healing isn't coming fast enough. What can I do in this impossible world where everyday somebody or something lets me know that my skin color will always be an issue? How can anybody or even God expect me to be sane? What can I do? How can I get out of this struggle? Somebody please help me. How can the bible speak to me with this impossible struggle? A throb is in my throat right now...

I havent posted anything here for awhile....but I decided maybe it was time, and this one has been posted before, but its such a powerful song and video, I figured maybe its time to post again. Skillet, The Last Night.

My new book, Faithless, will be published on December 20. The attachments describe what it's about, but I don't know how to find the people who would WANT to read it. I want to help people and this is my way of starting that. Any advice would be appreciated so much!

I need help can anyone assist me

This is a long post, one in which I've given a LOT of thought. Somehow or another, I believe suicide is my destiny. I don't know how or when, but it is inevitable. There's two elements that lead me to this conclusion, both mentally and spiritually. I've always been fairly melancholy; there's always been a deep void or a sense of emptiness. Metaphorically, there's always a dark haze within my consciousness (think Batman's Gotham). I am not now nor have I ever been abused by family, lover, or church. There are friends/family that love me and I'm sure would miss me. Life has its wonderful and beautiful moments. As I speak now, the golden Sun and the autumn rustling wind and aroma outside is wonderful! Yet, it all pales to the void within. In the last decade, I've tried to push past this by seeking purpose, something to be passionate about, and even wealth. So far, to no avail. My business endeavors have failed, cannot find anything to be passionate about, and certainly no purpose. Just, nothing, emptiness. As I get older, my family will be dying off; after a failed relationship I do not have the time nor patience for marrying. As early as age 15, I thought about the mudaneness of life. What is life? You go to work most of the week, come home attempting to savor the few free hours, and on off-days you catch up what you couldn't accomplish the rest of the week, only to repeat the same cycle over and over. For what? To keep the cycle going? Why do it? Suicide is the most logical answer, 18 years later even. Ecclesiastes touches on this very issue, of course, the point being life is nothing without God. However, that is not working out either. As Christians, when we accept Jesus as Lord & Savior, to save us from sin and to give us eternal life, we should gradually be becoming more "like Him", the relationship should become more of a living (maybe even obvious) reality, and our desire should be growing for Him. Frankly, I don't see that as the case with me. When searching my heart, I inevitably see it as self-centered, not really desiring God, and certainly not as a Living Reality. The efforts I have made to have a relationship with God, there seems to be no reciprocation, despite prayers to change my heart/desires, lead me in a meaningful direction, and to make the relationship more of a meaningful reality. Faith has never come easy for me to begin with. Underneath it all (and I'm not proud of it), part of me resents God for not only my creation, but ALL of Creation. Considering God is totally self-sufficient (does not need us), knowing full-well that most of mankind would not choose Him (even if it is by man's own free-will) and most likely suffer for eternity. That may be justice, but how does having that foreknowledge and moving forward with it anyway make for a God of love? Eternal fate aside, even the tamer "God grows us through suffering" line of reasoning, why have us endure it when God was perfectly content without us? It is quite hard to love a Being in that vein, even if He did offer to redeem us. Yes, I may accept His gift of salvation, but why create me in the first place? What's more, at my birth there was the chance I would not be born; my mother had a vision assuring her I would be born and healthy. So, obviously "God formed me in the womb" knowing the state of my future and had ample opportunity not to move forward with me. Why did He do it?? The only thing that has prevented me actually "fulfilling my destiny" is the fear of the afterlife as a result. Theologians can debate on whether or not there's a Biblical basis for suicide as a ticket to Hell or not, but that is immaterial here. Given my take on things above, personally, I wish for non-existence (suicide at the soul level). Unfortunately, I know it's not that easy. Christ is not going to redeem us only to end in non-existence, at the same time, I know the alternative is somehow worse. God will not allow non-existence without payment for sin in this life. So, either way, I lose! This fact only compounds my harsh feelings towards God and about life! I'm sure some here will probably say I was never saved or born again. For those that do think that, perhaps I've hardened my heart past the point of no return? The angst of living, the thought of it going on decades more, it almost makes me want to "weep and gnash teeth" here and now. I want to be redeemed by God, but at the same time I absolutely resent Him! Perhaps, I want redemption from existence itself more. In the end, I don't really know the response I seek in posting this. I know no responses will advocate suicide. Though, the thought of non-existence is absolutely euphoric! Counseling will not help, as I would be shut away in an institution or be doped up on meds and slapped with an outrageous bill to add insult to injury. Not sure if it is possible to see life any other way in a fully conscious and rational way! I welcome feedback in any case; thank you all.

PREDATORS, DANGEROUS DEVIANTS & J.D. HALL (of Pulpit & Pen) MAY 30, 2015JANETMEFFERD It’s really disgusting out there. Not just out there, in the moral cesspool of American culture. I mean out there, in the moral cesspool that is rapidly and tragically coming to define American evangelicalism. ....... Now you might remember the name J.D. Hall. He is a Montana-based pastor, author and founder of the Pulpit & Pen blog. But he is perhaps best known for his online harassment of former Brewton-Parker College president Ergun Caner’s teenaged son Braxton, who tragically ended up committing suicide last year. According to The Christian Post, Pastor Hall “confessed to his congregation at Fellowship Baptist Church that he was ‘crushed” by Braxton’s death.” Pastor Hall, who’d become notorious in many Christian circles for his aggressive online battles in the name of “defending truth,” told his church at the time: “The irony is that about three weeks ago I made known to you, my flock, that I was walking away from these conflicts. … In one sense, I am reaping what I sowed. When you live by the sword, you die by it … Knowing now that this young man struggled with that level of despair, I am even more sorry that my interaction with him was adversarial rather than pastoral.” At the time he said this, I thought Pastor Hall’s response to the tragedy was wholly appropriate and right. How impressive, I thought, that he could humble himself like that, admit how wrong his behavior was and vow never to become adversarial in an online context ever again. Good for him! Well, that was then. Because as soon as Pastor Hall saw my husband deny on Twitter that he was literally a “rapist at heart,” he swooped in for the kill. He tweeted to my husband: “Yeah, are you sure? Our view of depravity calls baloney on that.” When I retweeted my husband’s response, Pastor Hall further mocked me for retweeting my husband’s denial, telling us, “You know what’s funny? Your wife RT’d that like she believed you.”

Alright all, this is yet another of my favorites from skillet (as you all may have noticed they are one of my favorite bands) and this one, is a powerful one. I saw them perform this in concert, and while I heard the song on the radio before that, when I heard the meaning behind it, it meant a lot more. John Cooper (lead singer) got up, and told everyone, that this song, was basically, a conversation between a young girl contomplating suicide and God, and how he would never let them be alone again. Powerful song about Gods promises, and definetly, one of their most powerful songs. So here it is, Skillet, The Last Night.