Thewhitedove Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 Paul Washer talks about praying g with boots 'on and off'. Boots on prayer is intercessory prayer, while boots off is the more conversational type of prayer. Intercessory 'boots on' prayer is often warfare: laborious, hard work, intense. As many of you know, my husband is unsaved and I have been praying for him for almost 2 years. It is generally 'boots on' prayer. No matter how much I ask for the Holy Spirit to help me, I always end up burnt out from praying for mybhusband. I hardly ever pray for anyone other than him because I just can't do it: I am often so worn out (mentally? Spiritually? I dont know, but it's hard work) that I forget about every other unsaved person in my life, including my entire family of origin. I have every faith that my husband will come to Jesus. I really believe it! I know that only the Holy Spirit can make the change in his heart. I know all of the scriptures as to how a believing wife should behave. I have to be very discerning about how I speak to my husband about God as he shuts down very quickly, so most of my efforts have been through prayer and my conduct. At this stage now, it is almost an obsession. I just dont know how or when to ease off or stop praying. As his wife, I feel like I need to go to war for him as nobody else will (his family are all unsaved, without question). I am getting so weary. My boots are always on praying for him. I feel like I need to keep trudging on to the point where I am totally short sighted and this is all I think about. To make matters worse, a lot of my motivations are very selfish, such as just wanting to have a Christian family to raise our kids and a United front as Christians in the world. I go to church and have some Christian friends but an unequally yolked marriage is very lonely, especially in these last days. Despite my selfish motivations, I am still praying because to not pray would be worse. So basically, I am worn out praying the same prayer intensely, every single day. Some people do this for their entire lives! It's just so exhausting. Any ideas? You guys are always so edifying and supportive. I really appreciate all of you and the time you take for your beautiful, well thought out responses to my many, many posts! Anyway thank you and sorry for the essay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,300 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 58 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: So basically, I am worn out praying the same prayer intensely, every single day. Some people do this for their entire lives! It's just so exhausting. May I suggest then that you lower the intensity. Your intense constant prayers are not going to change God's mind about when he will save your husband. So drop the temperature, still pray for him, but maybe pray that he will attend church, will have a discussion with you about spiritual things, etc etc Deepen your spiritual life and broaden your prayers to include those in your church family as well as those suffering abroad etc. I like the illustration of praying with work boots on, except you need to be praying with your marathon running shoes on. A lady in our church saw her husband converted. Converted recently after forty years of married life, just before he died. So lace up your running shoes, and get involved in your local church, live the Christian live before your husband and your children,introduce them to church activities, insist on family attendance at certain family/evangelistic services like at Christmas and Easter. One of the major influence on the husband I mentioned, was the Christian men he got to know, men of integrity,of character and who were educated, holding down professional jobs or running successful businesses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 Thank you. You are right! I do need to turn the intensity down and pray more broadly. I will definitely start doing that. I take my older child to church but don't see how I can insist that my husband goes when I am to submit to his wishes, particularly when my conversion is such a sensitive spot. He wants absolutely nothing to do with it and I dont think I can go against his wishes by pushing him to go. But i will definitely expand my prayer life for sure. Thank you for your response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.23 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 I agree that you cannot change God's timeline for your husband with repetitive and/or constant prayer. I've been married to my wife over 35 years now and she still is not a follower of Christ. She believes in God, but more in an all inclusive God. I had gone through all the reasons why she should be saved, pointed out all the things that needed changing in her life, and so on until I was ready to give up. Just then, I realized that all I really needed to ask for is that His will be done in her life and that I receive the strength and endurance needed to wait for His timing. I have no idea if I will ever see her turn to the Lord or not, but I do have faith that His will will be done. Who could ask for more than that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 One light, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you feel more at peace now? How long had you been praying for her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who me Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,300 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 1,686 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 7 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: but don't see how I can insist that my husband goes when I am to submit to his wishes Family life is made up of compromises. There will be certain service when your children are involved or when they are intended for the whole family. You can talk about next Christmas services, about the whole family going, he may not accept going next Christmas,but in time he will, if only to stop you asking. Church outgoings, work vents, men's meetings spending on how imagentive your minister is there are many opertunities to involve non Christian spouses. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 Thank you. I will consider inviting him, although our congregation is TINY. I live in a country where I dont speak the language and the church I go to is the only English speaking, truth filled church I have found. It's great but the numbers are small (under 10 at times!). But I hadnt really thought of inviting him believe it or not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.23 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 9 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: One light, I'm sorry to hear that. Do you feel more at peace now? How long had you been praying for her? Don't be sorry ... I'm not. Don't take that the wrong way. I love her and have been praying for her for so long I've lost track of time, but needless to say, it's been well over 30 years. You see, having faith that Jesus will complete His will in her life is all I really need. I don't need to "see" it happen or have evidence of change as I once sought. All I need is to trust Jesus. As I said, what more can a person want for another persons life than for the will of God in their life? Yes, I have peace. I also need to add that just because I have peace about her salvation, this does not mean I like what she does or approve of some of her actions. All I can do is be an example and let God work out the details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thewhitedove Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 461 Content Per Day: 0.25 Reputation: 384 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/14/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 One light, you have definitely given me another perspective. I have to let go and relinquish it up to God. My faith has been quite a lonely walk so far but I guess that's my cross to pick up dialy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted January 8, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.23 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted January 8, 2021 11 minutes ago, Thewhitedove said: One light, you have definitely given me another perspective. I have to let go and relinquish it up to God. My faith has been quite a lonely walk so far but I guess that's my cross to pick up dialy. You are not alone in this at all. Everyone who has found peace in Christ had to "let go and let God". But I do recognize your concern as some days it is harder to have such faith when I am "in the thick" of things. It's easy to take our eyes of Christ and trust our selves at time, too easy, which is why we have to constantly check to see if we are in Him or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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