Still Alive Posted May 24, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,029 Content Per Day: 1.32 Reputation: 1,226 Days Won: 3 Joined: 02/05/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted May 24, 2021 1 hour ago, Starise said: I had to go through a divorce about 20 years ago. Ever since then I have seen it as one of those things I really didn't care to bring up, not only because the whole thing caused me great pain. Because as a Christian I felt I had failed, though it was not I who initiated or wanted the divorce I ultimately ended up being the one who had to work out the details finalizing it. There are many Christians who went through divorce.Since I've been through a divorce I don't judge a brother or sister who has been through it. NEVER would I have considered a divorce. Many times we have no other choice. Mine was such a divorce. Even if it was your fault for the divorce whoever you are. God will forgive you, hopefully valuable life lessons learned for life from it. I don't personally think anyone should divorce unless they have very good reasons for it. Not one of those things you do on a whim without professional, hopefully christian counseling. If it had not been for the other party in my case I would still very likely be married to my 1st wife. I would have never initiated it ever. Pretty much sums up what happened to me. My attitude was that divorce is not an option. Also, I believe that all people are both loveable and hateable - and if you don't love your spouse, it's on you, not your spouse. But if one wants to leave, you are to let them. I fought it tooth an nail with church leadership mediating, but it did no good. Hence the prayer I mentioned in my previous post. People that know my current wife (of 23 years) and me actually have overtly commented on how they envy our relationship. Frankly, I never knew it could be this good. I thought fairy tails were, well, fairy tails. Sometimes they really DO live happily ever after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted May 24, 2021 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 13 Topic Count: 279 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 13,125 Content Per Day: 9.66 Reputation: 13,656 Days Won: 149 Joined: 08/26/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted May 24, 2021 38 minutes ago, Still Alive said: Pretty much sums up what happened to me. My attitude was that divorce is not an option. Also, I believe that all people are both loveable and hateable - and if you don't love your spouse, it's on you, not your spouse. But if one wants to leave, you are to let them. I fought it tooth an nail with church leadership mediating, but it did no good. Hence the prayer I mentioned in my previous post. People that know my current wife (of 23 years) and me actually have overtly commented on how they envy our relationship. Frankly, I never knew it could be this good. I thought fairy tails were, well, fairy tails. Sometimes they really DO live happily ever after. I'm so glad to hear God has worked things out for you regardless. Sounds VERY similar to what happened with me. We have had a very similar outcome since. While we aren't one of those couples than hang on one another in church ( go get a room right?) I see a few couples hanging all over one another. I guess all couples are different. That just isn't me.We love one another. That's what really counts. I would give my life for her. I hope I never have to, but if I did- I would. She has been with me through some very trying times and stuck by me like no other. Ours isn't always a perfect relationship yet it is seldom anything other than wonderful. Probably the best I could ever hope for in a marriage. I KNOW I will never have to look over my shoulder with her unlike my 1st wife. For me as a man, that means a lot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marathoner Posted May 24, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 73 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 10,314 Content Per Day: 7.11 Reputation: 13,343 Days Won: 99 Joined: 05/24/2020 Status: Online Share Posted May 24, 2021 For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity. (Proverbs 24:16 NKJV) Things don't always proceed as we expect or believe. This is the nature of suffering and that weakness we bear while we sojourn on this earth: we learn that we suffer so we might comfort others who suffer... the power of Christ is perfected in weakness... and in spite of stumbling or falling, the Lord bids us to stand upon our feet again. The grace of the living God is upon us, a stumbling block to some and foolishness to others. We're blessed beyond measure for the Lord is merciful and kind toward us, conforming us to His image while we walk with Him in this life. He neither condemned the adulterous woman nor the Samaritan woman at the well, lessons for us to receive with meekness and trembling. There will always be one who rises up to say "But!..." when faced with the suffering and weakness of a brother or sister, but we shouldn't pay heed to the harsh judge. The Lord gives the gift and what's more, we stand or fall by the Lord and no other. I'm greatly edified to read how God blessed so many of you in the wake of ruin and disappointment. We know there are times when a marriage falls apart no matter what we do (or don't do) to preserve it. The gift of God vindicates you, my friends. A righteous man falls seven times but rises again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amigo42 Posted May 24, 2021 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 26 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 266 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 127 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/14/2020 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 24, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Still Alive said: I like these words from Jesus which are often misunderstood: "...whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery..." It doesn't mean what people think it means. It means that she has already committed adultery so he can't cause her to. She already did it. BTW, my wife of 20 years divorced me in 1997. I met the woman of my dreams at my 25th high school reunion three weeks after I prayed to God to free me of her emotionally - and he did. I lost all feeling for her utterly and completely - as a wife. She is still made in God's image and all that that implies. Meanwhile, I've now been married 23 years and they have been the happiest and most joyful years of my life. And it only gets better! God gave us a sex drive, just as he gave us a hunger drive. Ignore it at your peril, though some have been given a very low libido, which makes it a lot easier to never marry. But as Paul said, "If you're horny, marry". (My paraphrase) So I did. And sex is only a small part of it. It is about the two becoming one. It is about the partnership of two individuals as one entity, physically, emotionally and intellectually. We are one, just as Jesus and God are one. (hence the constant comparison of our relationship with God as a bride). Wow! That's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. It's great to know there is still good and beauty. So many people wish they could have what you have even if you got there in a round about way. Edited May 24, 2021 by Amigo42 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopefully Posted May 24, 2021 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 6 Topic Count: 52 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 1,323 Content Per Day: 1.06 Reputation: 1,465 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/07/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted May 24, 2021 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 KJV ““It was also said, ‘Any man who divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce.’ But I tell you that any man who divorces his wife, except for the problem of sexual sin, is causing his wife to be guilty of adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman is guilty of adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 ERV How can you cause someone do do something they have already done? I believe a man who puts away his wife except for sexual sin causes her to commit adultery because she will go off to be with someone else. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teddyv Posted May 25, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 6 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4,265 Content Per Day: 2.90 Reputation: 2,302 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/03/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted May 25, 2021 “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32 KJV Many people have been posting this, or versions thereof. Many scholars of Judaism recognize that the question posed was couched in the debate between Hillel and Shammai. In this case, Jesus was advocating for the interpretation of Shammai. Some mention that there were 5 grounds for divorce under Moses and that Jesus does not specifically go after all of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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