Should you divorce if you're not in love

[JohnD]

On 5/22/2021 at 8:42 AM, Amigo42 said:

We all know what the standard Christian answer is to this question, but in reality we all know half of all "Christian" marriages end in divorce.  Sometimes it works out for the better.  If you're not truly in love, is that fair to stay with that person keeping them from finding that?  

Should you cut off your left arm because your left arm just "isn't doing it" for your right arm anymore?

[JohnD]

Underlying assumption to the OP title:

The OP has another person in mind as a

replacement for their current spouse...

OR they have convinced themselves

they are missing out on the perverted perks

of "freedom."

Just remember, friend. being where you are is 

what all the "free" folks are looking for. Just like

you did when you were "free."

Marriage is a roller coaster ride there are ups and

there downs.

I worked for Mayflower before my Postal job was available

and I moved many who were divorcing and the regret they had

(especially the exiting spouse usually the extramarital wanderer /

inquisitor). And in nearly 40 years of Postal work, I've seen the same

thing forwarding the mail of broken homes.

In the Navy I found folks who enlisted for 4 years who simply had a bad

month.

Don't make a stupid mistake based on flimsy feelings or temporary situations.

Marriage is as much about the commitment as it is about the love.

[Amigo42]

22 hours ago, JohnD said:

Underlying assumption to the OP title:

The OP has another person in mind as a

replacement for their current spouse...

OR they have convinced themselves

they are missing out on the perverted perks

of "freedom."

Just remember, friend. being where you are is 

what all the "free" folks are looking for. Just like

you did when you were "free."

Marriage is a roller coaster ride there are ups and

there downs.

I worked for Mayflower before my Postal job was available

and I moved many who were divorcing and the regret they had

(especially the exiting spouse usually the extramarital wanderer /

inquisitor). And in nearly 40 years of Postal work, I've seen the same

thing forwarding the mail of broken homes.

In the Navy I found folks who enlisted for 4 years who simply had a bad

month.

Don't make a stupid mistake based on flimsy feelings or temporary situations.

Marriage is as much about the commitment as it is about the love.

I concur with your analysis.  My question was kind of more theoretical.

[Amigo42]

23 hours ago, Justin Adams said:

So, why does Jesus now call Satan "the ruler of this world"?
This phrase was the well-recognized short form of "the ruler of the darkness of this world," which Judaism used to refer to Satan, with "the darkness" referring to the world outside of Judaism; the Jews believed that Satan rules over the gentiles but not them.

 

 

Good point.  Context explains a lot when trying to understand what writers of the past meant by the statements made.  For example, I've read that "the mark of the beast" of revelation and "antichrist" actually had little to nothing to do with the modern day Christian understanding.  Instead, the writer of Revelation (John the Elder or John the Apostle) may have been referring to the current "beast" power of Rome that ruled at the time he wrote it (AD 90s).  The term beast was common code for Christians when discussing the pagan Roman empire which persecuted and killed Christians.  Instead, modern day Christians love to make this mean some one world government of the future run by the antichrist.

Edited May 24, 2021 by Amigo42

[Justin Adams]

7 minutes ago, Amigo42 said:

Instead, modern day Christians love to make this mean some one world government of the future run by the antichrist.

Yes, and there is very good evidence that Revelation was written before 70AD. I get lots of pushback and even mean insinuations when I post about that.
I got there on my own with careful study and playing 'what if'. I then saw the pre-mill and dispensational stuff as a potentially huge error. So I am pretty much alone in my own understanding, but I do have some facts that I keep available.

If you do not study, then anything and everything from the pulpit will be taken in without thought. Since most modern preachers go thru Dallas Theological Seminary, it is not any wonder since you have to accept the Dispensational view in order to be ordained and even accepted there as a student. Thus, it has become a sad earmark of the US churches at large.

Edited May 24, 2021 by Justin Adams

[Starise]

I had to go through a divorce about 20 years ago. Ever since then I have seen it as one of those things I really didn't care to bring up, not only because the whole thing caused me great pain. Because as a Christian I felt I had failed, though it was not I who initiated or wanted the divorce I ultimately ended up being the one who had to work out the details finalizing it.

There are many Christians who went through divorce.Since I've been through a divorce I don't judge a brother or sister who has been through it. NEVER would I have considered a divorce. Many times we have no other choice. Mine was such a divorce.

Even if it was your fault for the divorce whoever you are. God will forgive you, hopefully valuable life lessons learned for life from it.

I don't personally think anyone should divorce unless they have very good reasons for it. Not one of those things you do on a whim without professional, hopefully christian counseling. If it had not been for the other party in my case I would still very likely be married to my 1st wife. I would have never initiated it ever.

[Guest clancy]

When I look back over my life,I chose both my husbands,I was also a non believer when I married them, my gut told me not to marry them,but,I ignored it and married them anyway, I had no choice but to divorce, I honestly believe it was all meant to be, I went through hell with both marriages,

When the Lord saved me, that was it, I gave my body ,life to God...I could never go through that again, if the lord decides to bring me a husband, then my belief is, he will do it, I do nothing, in the meantime I remain faithful to God ,and will do until my last breath.

He meets my needs and Loves me like no other, that’s what was missing in my life...”TrueLove” which can only come from Him.

So the Lord is my first True Love.?

[Guest clancy]

41 minutes ago, Starise said:

I had to go through a divorce about 20 years ago. Ever since then I have seen it as one of those things I really didn't care to bring up, not only because the whole thing caused me great pain. Because as a Christian I felt I had failed, though it was not I who initiated or wanted the divorce I ultimately ended up being the one who had to work out the details finalizing it.

There are many Christians who went through divorce.Since I've been through a divorce I don't judge a brother or sister who has been through it. NEVER would I have considered a divorce. Many times we have no other choice. Mine was such a divorce.

Even if it was your fault for the divorce whoever you are. God will forgive you, hopefully valuable life lessons learned for life from it.

I don't personally think anyone should divorce unless they have very good reasons for it. Not one of those things you do on a whim without professional, hopefully christian counseling. If it had not been for the other party in my case I would still very likely be married to my 1st wife. I would have never initiated it ever.

Amen!!...in total agreement with this post.

[Amigo42]

1 hour ago, Starise said:

I had to go through a divorce about 20 years ago. Ever since then I have seen it as one of those things I really didn't care to bring up, not only because the whole thing caused me great pain. Because as a Christian I felt I had failed, though it was not I who initiated or wanted the divorce I ultimately ended up being the one who had to work out the details finalizing it.

There are many Christians who went through divorce.Since I've been through a divorce I don't judge a brother or sister who has been through it. NEVER would I have considered a divorce. Many times we have no other choice. Mine was such a divorce.

Even if it was your fault for the divorce whoever you are. God will forgive you, hopefully valuable life lessons learned for life from it.

I don't personally think anyone should divorce unless they have very good reasons for it. Not one of those things you do on a whim without professional, hopefully christian counseling. If it had not been for the other party in my case I would still very likely be married to my 1st wife. I would have never initiated it ever.

Very well said!

[Still Alive]

I like these words from Jesus which are often misunderstood: "...whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery..."

It doesn't mean what people think it means. It means that she has already committed adultery so he can't cause her to. She already did it.

BTW, my wife of 20 years divorced me in 1997. I met the woman of my dreams at my 25th high school reunion three weeks after I prayed to God to free me of her emotionally - and he did. I lost all feeling for her utterly and completely - as a wife. She is still made in God's image and all that that implies.

Meanwhile, I've now been married 23 years and they have been the happiest and most joyful years of my life. And it only gets better! 

God gave us a sex drive, just as he gave us a hunger drive. Ignore it at your peril, though some have been given a very low libido, which makes it a lot easier to never marry. But as Paul said, "If you're horny, marry". (My paraphrase)

So I did. And sex is only a small part of it. It is about the two becoming one. It is about the partnership of two individuals as one entity, physically, emotionally and intellectually. We are one, just as Jesus and God are one. (hence the constant comparison of our relationship with God as a bride).