I have came to a conclusion, and also have a few thing's to say.

[faithfull-prophet4040]

I made 2 poems for God, and then sealed them with aloe ( I have an aloe plant) and took three wild rose I found, and put one facing up, one facing to the left laying across the rose facing up, and one facing the other way (again) laying on the first rose it made a cross and it was meant to symbolize (God) (The son) and (The Holy Spirit) 3 roses 3 meaning's, all in the form of a cross. And then I put it nicely in a box on top of the poem's, and sealed the box with 2 pieces of clear tape. I was going to walk it over to the church on FATHERS day (the church here stay's open till 12:00 PM on sunday's) and so I walked half way there, keeping everything in the box nicely in place, but after I got half way there I felt fear of leaving it there, and so I turned around. I feel horrible for not having the courage to leave it there, it meant a lot from me too God. Anyway's I just wanted to say that... Also I have went down to one cigarette per hour, compared to one every 25 minute's. (I said in one of my post's that I was going to quit smoking, and i'm trying.) Iv been using patches, and a puffy vapor pen, just a small little one. Now after all that being said, because I just wanted too say them thing's. Now for what i really made this post for, is I want to make a change, a huge change. I want to move somewhere hour's away from here where i'm at now. It is filled with my horrible memories of my sinful past, and I also don't like living right on the highway in an apartment, with people living literally on the other side of the wall. I feel no freedom here, I never get quite or no distraction's when praying, and I would just like to have peace for once. And so I am going to take the money I have I am going to move into a trailer in the country (not my dream home, but better then where i'm currently living) I am going to stop ALL SIN'S so that if a man ask's/say's are you a sinner or you are a sinner, I can say (What sin's do you accuse me of, and after they sit quiet for a few second's they will have nothing to say.) You may say do you ride in a vehicle? Your sinning right there polluting the air, the answer to that would be NO I don't because it pollutes the air. I walk everywhere I go, or ride bike if it's long distance's. Also I have already mentioned in all my other post's that i don't do ANYTHING even considered a sin aside from 4 things - smoke cigarette's, take suboxone, take klonopin, and use the internet. I will however be continuing using the internet, so that would be the only sin I could be accused of. Why do I want to do this, not just so I can say I don't sin, not for prideful reasons, but the true reasons is because, if i don't sin there will be nothing to accuse me (like I said), another is ll know i'm going to heaven, and I cannot, and will not believe that if I do NO sin's that God wouldn't be there for me. I feel sinning is what's separating me from him, and causing me to think he can't here me, or he wont answer my prayer's, or am i'm not righteous enough... I'll know i'm righteous because ill be following all 10 commandment's ill be sinning no longer, and i plan to do many kind deed's. After all it literally is my dream to help the poor and to pass God's word, I want to do it so much it bring's joy to my heart even thinking of it. And those of you they say were acceptable to God through faith like the bible say's, that is true and I believe that also. And i also believe that after I quit all sin's, and start doing more kind deed's, and reading the bible more, that ill be givin faith from God through the holy spirit. Like it is written (none shall brag about faith because "it is a gift from God")

[Starise]

I would add that prayer is important to ask God to direct you in all things. Really look for His answers with a heart to do His will.

What does it matter how someone else sees your relationship to God by looking at your sins ? It's only between you and Him. Things can be happening in you that people don't see externally right away.

 Begin with your relationship to God through Jesus Christ. Let everything else begin from there. Ask God for help in dealing with any and all addictions to substances.