Starise Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 13 Topic Count: 279 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 13,126 Content Per Day: 9.67 Reputation: 13,662 Days Won: 149 Joined: 08/26/2020 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 24, 2022 I hesitate to admit this, a small percentage of people at my last church are no longer as friendly. One of them lives not a mile away and I drive by their house regularly. If I see them they aren't rude, but I get the feeling I was added to that " stay away from" list. We once went out to eat with these people on a fairly regular basis. I mean, I don't see it as a huge loss because God has blessed us with friends ten fold since. Still it makes me sad to see old friends pull away. I guess I can say I know how it feels to be socially shunned and I think unless it's for a very good verified reason this should be a last resort. Once a person is labeled it's tough to regain a friendship. Jesus disciples argued and Jesus didn't tell them to split up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marathoner Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 73 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 10,320 Content Per Day: 7.11 Reputation: 13,353 Days Won: 99 Joined: 05/24/2020 Status: Online Share Posted July 24, 2022 I understand. Imagine sharing a life with people who became the family you never had. You were there when their children were born; you worked to expand their houses to accommodate an expanded family; they stood with you when you were baptized in water. You devoted your days to serving them in love... And in an instant they turn their backs upon you, declaring you "accursed." You are no longer welcome in their homes or gatherings. They pronounce their judgment upon you as you hit the road to wander without a family or a home, because they were the only family and home you had known. It was hard, my friend. I suffered for many years, but there came a day when I was reunited with someone who had forsaken me in the past. I learned what became of the ones who judged me and cast me out. Their houses crumbled and most had turned their backs upon the Lord. It was sobering. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie744 Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2,690 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 862 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/29/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2022 21 minutes ago, Starise said: I hesitate to admit this, a small percentage of people at my last church are no longer as friendly. One of them lives not a mile away and I drive by their house regularly. If I see them they aren't rude, but I get the feeling I was added to that " stay away from" list. We once went out to eat with these people on a fairly regular basis. I mean, I don't see it as a huge loss because God has blessed us with friends ten fold since. Still it makes me sad to see old friends pull away. I guess I can say I know how it feels to be socially shunned and I think unless it's for a very good verified reason this should be a last resort. Once a person is labeled it's tough to regain a friendship. Jesus disciples argued and Jesus didn't tell them to split up. I am sorry to mix this topic with the other topic you enjoy visiting and commenting on..."What's for dinner", but perhaps you might ask yourself this.... Did they get offended when I served them dinner and passed the dinnerware off as "paper plates"? Remember the verse in Samuel... 2 Samuel 13:9, "She took the pan and dished them out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” So everyone went out from him." The horror.... the horror.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie744 Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2,690 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 862 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/29/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2022 14 minutes ago, Marathoner said: I understand. Imagine sharing a life with people who became the family you never had. You were there when their children were born; you worked to expand their houses to accommodate an expanded family; they stood with you when you were baptized in water. You devoted your days to serving them in love... And in an instant they turn their backs upon you, declaring you "accursed." You are no longer welcome in their homes or gatherings. They pronounce their judgment upon you as you hit the road to wander without a family or a home, because they were the only family and home you had known. It was hard, my friend. I suffered for many years, but there came a day when I was reunited with someone who had forsaken me in the past. I learned what became of the ones who judged me and cast me out. Their houses crumbled and most had turned their backs upon the Lord. It was sobering. No one... absolutely no one should ever be treated that way... but too many are indeed. But there is good news and bad news - the bad news of course is that those that have been so offended for so long have not been able to find the Lord … and they repeat the same offenses to others they had been subjected to (that, is truly so sad). The good news of course, is that folks like yourself have indeed survived and prospered in the grace of God. You get to live with Him each and every day.... unfortunately, they never do and may never ever.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marathoner Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 73 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 10,320 Content Per Day: 7.11 Reputation: 13,353 Days Won: 99 Joined: 05/24/2020 Status: Online Share Posted July 24, 2022 20 minutes ago, Charlie744 said: No one... absolutely no one should ever be treated that way... but too many are indeed. But there is good news and bad news - the bad news of course is that those that have been so offended for so long have not been able to find the Lord … and they repeat the same offenses to others they had been subjected to (that, is truly so sad). The good news of course, is that folks like yourself have indeed survived and prospered in the grace of God. You get to live with Him each and every day.... unfortunately, they never do and may never ever.... I forgave them, Charlie. They didn't know, and neither did I, that being judged and cast out from their midst was in fact the will of the Lord. They thought I was never one of them, and that's where they were wrong. Ah, but I was wrong for believing them! I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was thick-skulled and hard of hearing back then, but that's no obstacle to our Lord and God. Consider this: The night before the elders cast me out, the Lord spoke and declared what would happen the following morning. He told me to gather my things and wait on their arrival. I was to agree with them quickly and go on my way. How long did it take me to get it? Yeah, I should have known they were wrong and that the Lord loved me before they cast me out. I was a bonehead! It took 23 years to realize the truth staring me in the face all along, but this wasn't an obstacle to our Lord. He accomplishes His word every time. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie744 Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2,690 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 862 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/29/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2022 12 minutes ago, Marathoner said: I forgave them, Charlie. They didn't know, and neither did I, that being judged and cast out from their midst was in fact the will of the Lord. They thought I was never one of them, and that's where they were wrong. Ah, but I was wrong for believing them! I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was thick-skulled and hard of hearing back then, but that's no obstacle to our Lord and God. Consider this: The night before the elders cast me out, the Lord spoke and declared what would happen the following morning. He told me to gather my things and wait on their arrival. I was to agree with them quickly and go on my way. How long did it take me to get it? Yeah, I should have known they were wrong and that the Lord loved me before they cast me out. I was a bonehead! It took 23 years to realize the truth staring me in the face all along, but this wasn't an obstacle to our Lord. He accomplishes His word every time. Psalm 23....then 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOrangeCat Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 57 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,418 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 1,843 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/24/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2022 On 7/22/2022 at 11:21 PM, Willa said: Not all people are healthy for us to maintain a relationship. I am thinking of relatives with whom we have turned the other cheek for decades and continued to offer love. God once told me that it doesn't glorify Him to be a door mat, but I should stand firm and say enough is enough. No more being manipulated so as to be the but of their abuse or allowing my family to be badly treated. Yes, we forgive. It is not wrong to avoid some people under these circumstances. I largely agree with this, and in some cases distance is needed or at least very useful toward maintaining a positive relationship with certain people. Something else that I'd like to point out is that there's an important distinction between how we see people and how we act toward them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 13 Topic Count: 279 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 13,126 Content Per Day: 9.67 Reputation: 13,662 Days Won: 149 Joined: 08/26/2020 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 24, 2022 (edited) 11 hours ago, Marathoner said: They thought I was never one of them, and that's where they were wrong Maybe they were right because they were never what they presented themselves to be. I'm glad you are in a better place today. Edited July 24, 2022 by Starise 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 13 Topic Count: 279 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 13,126 Content Per Day: 9.67 Reputation: 13,662 Days Won: 149 Joined: 08/26/2020 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 24, 2022 It's ironic that today my wife and I are supposed to have lunch with the pastor and his wife from my old church. Not sure if you can relate to this, I had been thinking about them and yesterday his wife reached out to my wife asking about lunch. We have met several times before this and it was always a good time of fellowship. I think most friendships suffer a bump or two over the years. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray12614 Posted July 24, 2022 Group: Senior Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 670 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 753 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/22/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted July 24, 2022 5 hours ago, AnOrangeCat said: I largely agree with this, and in some cases distance is needed or at least very useful toward maintaining a positive relationship with certain people. Something else that I'd like to point out is that there's an important distinction between how we see people and how we act toward them. Well . . . I am jumping in on this thread here to try to offer help . . . as I have been on both sides of the issue . . . I have received the 'left foot of fellowship' , and also have been on the leadership side having to deal with situations when toxic people who actively stir up division and un-repentant of sin enticing others into it and that are hurting the church body. From a leadership side, they have a responsibility to protect the flock from harmful behaviors and outright sin. They also have a responsibility to try to reconcile the offenders to the principals of scriptures as they are Jesus' way-ward sheep. But if they are unteachable, or leadership is off-base, or the leadership and the person(s) cannot reconcile differences, then the person(s) must leave giving their reasons for doing that. Basic principle here is found in proverbs; Can two walk together unless they agree . . . . But always remember; We all spend eternity together in the presence of Jesus where there are no divisions, and all differences have been resolved . . . So don't 'write people off' as un-redeemable, or un-saved because of whatever. People can change too, and may be different now from what they were when you had to separate. Grace and Peace . . . Ray . . . Ray . . . 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts