Need advice

[cutiepie1497]

Okay, I

[Pipit]

hello cutiepie,

Thank you for sharing, especially if you find it difficult to talk and communicate with other people.

You mention accountability often as being part of your relationship with your youth pastor's wife and with your friends, and seem to suggest or hint that it is because of this accountability aspect that you are sub-consciously withdrawing from them. I am going to venture something and please, if i am wrong, don't be offended--and even more, don't be offened if i am right (which I hope I am not! I want to be wrong on this assumption!).

Is there anything you are doing in your life right now that you should not be doing? Is there sin in your life that you are keeping hidden?

It seems that because accountability is a major part of your relationship with these people, that an unwillingness to be accountable to them is causing you to withdraw from them. It is difficult to be around people who can read you and know what is happening in your life without you having to say much (and usually, those who are friends who love you and who desire to hold you accountable are able to) when there are things in your life you would rather not want anyone to know about.

Again, i am saying this with hopes i am wrong in presuming it, but if there is sin in your life, maybe it is time to be accountable on, and let them know that you are struggling with something---that is what a true Christian friend is for.

And if you are not struggling with sin, maybe it is time instead to sit down with them (or maybe just your youth pastor's wife) and share with them what you have shared here, and let them know that for some reason, you feel yourself growing distant in your friendship, and you are having difficulties in knowing how to keep that friendship strong and vibrant.

Either way, hoping for the best for you!

[cutiepie1497]

Ugh Pipit! You are right. I'm over here cring now....that is so true of myself I think, unfortunately. Well when this accountability from my youth pastors wife started is at youth camp 2 summers ago and I have develped anorexia and bulimia. She was awesome....helped me through it, suggested counseling and I wnet. Very helpful lady to have around. Now I'm not so bad...haven't had bulimia or rather I will always have it but havent thrown up in months. The thoughts are still deadly and non stop which kill me and have had wear and tear on me. But now its not so much that. Now I don't know I have fallen away from God, I don't read my bible anymore except on Sunday morning. I guess I'm what I call a Sunday Christian. But its not like I'm completely opposite from school/ church. I am the same person....always, I don't change and I hold my morals high. I just feel so empty, so worthless, and like if I were to talk with my yout pastors wife I would be too much of a burden on her, and I don't want to be a burden. I don't know.....I'm so confused....

[Scarletprayers]

If you don't feel you can speak with her anymore, print off your post, or re-write it and give it to her.

She is probably wondering how to help you, if she understands your feeling you've helped her know what to do and you have continued to help yourself. Its very awkward facing people that you've told secret things to. But, she seems to have held your secrets as you've asked her to do, which to me implies you have picked a VERY special person to turn to. Don't turn her away now. Sometimes writing things are much easier than sitting there looking someone in the eye and telling them. Pray as you write so you say the things you really need to say.

I will be praying for you!

[Guest duane65]

Hey Cutiepie.

[Pipit]

That's a good word from Kahlan and Duane, and I encourage you to keep it in mind. Just to tag something to Duane's post, read Revelation 12:10-11, and remember that you, if you have given yourself to Christ and surrendered your life to Him, are one of them who has overcome Satan through the blood of the Lamb and through the word of your testimony (which is your proclaimation that while you where a sinner, Christ died for you, and you have been redeemed by His blood and forgiven of your sins!)

I want you to also keep this in mind-- we are not meant to carry the burdens of life alone. Christ calls us to have fellowship with each other in order to encourage and be encouraged and to pray and to pray for and to cry and laugh with and to help and be helped. We are encouraged to share with each other our needs, so that we can meet each others needs, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Read what James 5:13-20 says, and what Hebrews 10:19-25 tells us regarding fellowship and our relationship as Christians is. Don't feel that you are going to be a burden--and even if you do, remember that it is better to be a burden now, when you work your problems out, then a cause of greif and heartache later, when your problems have left you ruined and broken!

I also want to encourage you to start spending time in prayer, and listening to good worship music, and reading God's Word during the week. It doesn't have to be alot, but a few minutes of prayer and some time in God's Word--even if a few verses or a Psalm--each day is refreshing. It will also allow you to start renewing your relationship wth God and Christ, and to move away from that 'Sunday Christian' pattern (where the only time you really have exposure to God's Word is on Sunday... trying to stay awake despite the uncomfortable pews!).

And remember that you have friends who are praying for you, and who will never consider you a burden or a waste of time, but who will go out of their way to encourage you and listen to your needs and lift you up before God!

[cutiepie1497]

I cannot talk to them about this. They would think that I was being self-centered or jealous or something. Plus talking to someone is so incredibly embarrassing and even writing a letter is that much worse. Pipit, the only music I listen to is christian lol thats all you will find on my computer, out of my cds, and thats what my radio is turned to so thats not going to be a problem. I will start reading the bible this week though. So I should start in Psalms?

[Pipit]

Psalms is an excellent place to start, but don't just read the Psalms, take time to read other passages as well, from the Gospels or the Letters of the Apostles! And hey, feel free to share with us what you are reading, and what you are discovering as you take in God's Word.

As for what it is you are deal with right now, I would encourage and challenge you to share it with someone. It is not the healthiest of things, spiritually or emotionally, to hold issues inside that tear you to pieces. Hopefully you can find someone here on Worthyboards.

[cutiepie1497]

Thanks so much for your advice Pipit, and everyone. Pipit what do you mean by "Hopefully you can find someone here on Worthyboards."?

[Scarletprayers]

If you don't feel like you can write a letter, go by a Thank You card. Read them until you find one that seems to really match your feelings. Sign it and give it to her. At least she will know you aren't mad at her, and it will make you feel better. The Psalms are always good to read, so I think Pipit has given you a good starting point.

I hope someone here or in your life will find a way to guide you through this time, but the best guide for any time in your life is God!