Crossroads. Travel, Dog, or Puppy. Crossroads. ?

[believeinHim]

So, I and my parents are at a crossroads, As far as we are concerned. There is no one in my life currently that I can have my own family with, And there has not been since pretty much forever. Therer are, there is no mutual relationships or friendships in my life, Except maybe that ofa  couple of female friends, But even they are on facebook and I am not on facebook,, And I do not have the contact information of one of them, Aside from Facebook. {Off topic}.

I probably only still have two female friends, But even they are on Facebook, And I am not on Facebook, Is what I am tryign to say. That is what I am trying to say.

------------------------------------- Crossroads.

So, the Plan was to travel for awhile, Like, The whole country and my mom wanted to tow a small camper, Or something like that, Like some type of Sylvan camper or something like that, And my dad basically nipped it in the bud and said that he does not want to drive nor tow a camper. He has had cataracts, And all kinds of health issues over the years, And he already said that he will not drive an RV, and he has now said that he does not and will not tow a camper, either. This leaves me and my mom to tow a camper, And neither of us feel comfortable doing that, either.

So, Then she thought about trading in both cars and getting some type of van like situation and trying to pile all three of us in there at night, and staying at cay o way camps and cabins and stuff like that, And my parents nor I want to spend the time traveling at hotels or anything, either. Me and my mom are both pretty set on wanting to stay at cabins and camps sites. Neither of us want to stay at hotels along the way.

So, Travelng is hard on me already, With my schedule, Or rather non ~ Existent schedule, With my medications, And the fatigue I get and all of that. Traveling is already hard on my body, And we would be taking at least a month to travel the whole country here and back in the next couple of years, Or whenever it comes time, And it is definitely, Definitely hard on my specific body to travel like that. If I do not travel and see the country with my parents, I will never see it at all. I am too delicate in my situation to travel by myself, And way too confused to navigate it by myself, as well. I just will not see it without someone to go with me. It's also not safe for me to go by myself, either.

So, Then my mom just blurted out yesterday, Or like the day before, That she wants to forego traveling at all, And just get a dog from a shelter, Just adopt a dog fro m a shelter, A low maintenance hair free dog etc, And that's all she wants to do for the next 15 or so years.

Now, I want a puppy, As that is half the fun, And I want a high maintenance puppy, As that is half the cuteness, But again, That will be difficult on me as I am in my condition with my lack of a schedule, And all of th emedications I am on, And not being able to keep up with how fast things go in life, Not being able to keep up with the base, And struggling with ADL's And all of that.

So, she just blurted out yesterday let's not travel and that she wants to adopt a dog instead. I'm like.... Well. What should we do ? And should I tell her that' s what I want to do too ? I told  her that's not what I want to do and I'd rather still try and travel. She said just a couple of days ago she doesn't want to travel again. She doesn't want to go without a camper and stay at hotels, And neither do I. Neither of us can drive it all that way by ourselves. It's too difficult for both of us.

If I don't see the country with my parents, Or someone else other than just me, I won't see the country at all. What do I do ? Do I tell my mom I want  dog ?, Do I tell her I want a dog, But I want to go all out for a puppy in a couple of years for myself, Or do I tell her I still want to travel with them before they are gone ? What do I do ? Is travelling the country and staying at the camp sites worth it ? Is all of that worth it ?
I am about to be 38 and I have never been outside of my home state, A couple of neighboring states, And I one time traveled the country by plane with my parents to visit a friend I met in an AOL chat room. I one time traveled by plane to visit a friend I met in an AOL chat room and my parents went with me. My dad can't fly anywhere anymore with his eyes. He can't get on a plane anymore with his eye pressure the way it is. He also has glaucoma. 

Is traveling the country worth it ? Is a puppy and the upkeep and the expense worth it ? Should we adopt a dog and should I go ahead and tell my mom that's what i want to do ? I have only ever been to three states other than my own state. I have never seen anymore of the country other than that. I will not go by myself, And I would get confused if I tried to. Probably hold up traffic and make all kinds of wrong turns. 

I am able to drive through towns that I have been in, But I am unable and not well enough to drive in unfamiliar parts of towns, And unfamiliar roads. I one time almost got in to an accident because they were one way roads and I did not know where I was going and almost drove off the road on to the other side. I am not well enough to drive unfamiliar parts of towns, And unfamiliar roads. I am only well enough to drive in town in familiar places. And I don't have a car anymore, either. I do not have my own car anymore. 

So, What do I and what do we do ? I am not asking on behalf of them, I am asking for me ? Should I push the issue and tell her I still want to travel, Or should I tell her I want to get a dog with her from the shelter ? ? 

[ayin jade]

You and your parents can stay at cabins and just pack what you need in a car. You can go fairly local for a weekend or so. Traveling is difficult these days with the price of gas. 

Getting a dog is nice too but I would not recommend a puppy, especially not a high maintenance one. Someone gave my parents a puppy recently and dad gave her to me. She is sweet and cute but sooo much trouble. She has swallowed a couple of moms pills already. If you have a lot of pills and sometimes drop them, a puppy is more likely to get into them and require either vet care or die. You said you are not well enough to travel by yourself. Does that mean you are not well enough to take care of a puppy with all the special needs puppies have?

Since I am on your ignore list, Im hoping someone will give you similar advice.

[Neighbor]

Hi,  I offer to you a very serious test for you to  take to learn whether you really can handle having a dog of your own.

Test your desire to have a dog by taking three plastic grocery bags on a walk around the neighborhood once each day, doing so  every day  for a week. Look for dog poo and gather it up putting it into the bags while on your walk. Bring it home and then dispose of it.

Do that for one full week, and then ask again, "Do I want a dog?". Can I do this for my own dog for the next 15 years? will I also clean the water bowl each day and the food bowl every day for 15 years? If the answer is maybe, or no, then do not get a dog.

A dog is a serious responibility it is a living creature that needs real care. It is not a toy. It needs daily care every day it needs shelter everyday it needs cleaning up after every day and it needs costly vet care and licensing. Think of your responsibility first before you ever think of the "fun" a dog might be. It is a 11 to 16 year commitment that one has to make right up front  and live it every day rain snow or hot sun .

May God bless.

[Debp]

I agree that a dog is a lot of responsibility.   If a person is healthy, one can take a dog for walks for the required three or four walks a day.   That includes an early morning walk and a late night walk before bedtime.   Are you and/or your mother up to that each day?

Do you have a yard?   That might solve the early morning and late night walk.

Little dogs live much longer than big dogs.   My little Shiz Tzu lived for fifteen years.

I've had cats for many years now.   It is much easier for me to scoop a litter box than to try to get a dog out for a walk in my older years.   Cats are very affectionate and some are doglike (following you, etc), however they also require responsibility.    They can live even longer than dogs....two of mine lived to seventeen years old.    

About the traveling, why not just do short trips now and then?    Most people have not seen much of the USA, myself included.    If one can just get out anywhere to sightsee, that would be good.

[com7fy8]

Cabins can cost money. I would think you should do little day trips, first, and see how well this works for your health and your parents' comfort.

On a long journey, it can be easy to miss a lot of local things at different places. And right near where you are, there could be local things to enjoy, then to sleep comfortably at home with no rush schedule to some next thing 

One of the greatest goods of travel is to discover people you get to know. But how far do you need to go to do this?

You might take a little at a time, about having a dog, too. Enjoy someone else's doggie, help a senior citizen care for his or her or their dog. And how much have you already found out about caring for a dog? You might spend time learning at a shelter, volunteering, or with someone with experience for years, even decades.

But trusting God to guide you works best, through Jesus.

[Debp]

@believeinHim

Also, shelters often need foster parents for dogs and cats.   This would help you to see if caring 24/7 for a pet is right for your family.

Also, it's harder to travel with a pet.   Fostering would allow you to travel....just don't take any pet in when you plan to go away.

[kwikphilly]

Please,don't get a dog.... If your Mom is looking for a dog that is low maintenance & does not shed then buy her a stuffed animal.

I'm a professional animal trainers,an advocate for the well being of animals and they are living breathing creatures that come with tremendous responsibility,they are not second choices for lack of anything better , a quick fix for boredom ,a hobby or pastime.

Buy puzzles,get into crafts , watch National Geographic or the Travel channel to pass the time- but please,don't get a dog ....

.

[believeinHim]

On 2/6/2023 at 2:17 PM, Neighbor said:

Hi,  I offer to you a very serious test for you to  take to learn whether you really can handle having a dog of your own.

Test your desire to have a dog by taking three plastic grocery bags on a walk around the neighborhood once each day, doing so  every day  for a week. Look for dog poo and gather it up putting it into the bags while on your walk. Bring it home and then dispose of it.

Do that for one full week, and then ask again, "Do I want a dog?". Can I do this for my own dog for the next 15 years? will I also clean the water bowl each day and the food bowl every day for 15 years? If the answer is maybe, or no, then do not get a dog.

A dog is a serious responibility it is a living creature that needs real care. It is not a toy. It needs daily care every day it needs shelter everyday it needs cleaning up after every day and it needs costly vet care and licensing. Think of your responsibility first before you ever think of the "fun" a dog might be. It is a 11 to 16 year commitment that one has to make right up front  and live it every day rain snow or hot sun .

May God bless.

Are you suggesting I go around my neighborhood and pick up other dog's Poo, ? We have a sign in our neighborhood suggesting that is against our HOA rules. When we had a little dog, We didn't walk her. She was so little she did not require it. We took her up to the mailbox and let her out back for very limited amounts of time. All of, Er, Uhm, "Business", Was out in the backyard. We hav ea sign in our neighborhood saying it is against our HOA rules to not pick up after your dog. It's the bathing it and feeding it and backyard stuff that I would need to keep up with. 

I want a border collie. Border collies are my favorite breeds of dogs. It is unrealistic of me, And I would need a park in the neighborhood to take it up to to to let it run around for 2 hours. When we had a little dog we did not take it walking. She did not need it. She ran up to the mailbox with us and that is about it. Well, All of that, And she thought she was a human and was terrified of all other dogs. 

I want a border collie, And that is completely unrealistic for me.

My mom also thought about ta service dog, Or emotional support animal in the past. WE don't know how to do that now, though.

I am more worried about the conglomerate brand Purina right now than I am about the upkeep of a dog, Despite the furry ones would be more difficult.

Getting a dog and foregoing traveling sounds like the better option to me. I don't really want to have traveling under my belt.

If I don't have to walk it and it's small enough dog, It requires bathing and feeding it because we will not leave it's food out on the floor like we did with our first dog. I guess you are technically not supposed to do that.

My mom considered a service dog or an emotional support animal for me. A service dog for emotional a brain disorders, etc. They can remind you of when to take your medication, They can calm you down if you are anxious. That's what she considered a long time ago.

It' the going through the training with the puppy that would be difficult for me.

I do worry about dropping medication and a puppy getting it, That's why the need for a service dog so it is well, Well trained.

She thought about a yellow lab and training it as a service dog. They are well, well trained, And very calm and relaxed. That' what it started out as as trying to get me a service dog. 

Now it is just turned in to, "Let's go adopt a dog from the shelter". I don't know. I am not in to the traveling thing like I was. They do want to take me around my state, though.

They thought they would just take me everywhere there is to go in my state. 

A yellow lab as a service dog would have the personality requirements of a dog that is fit to be very calm and relaxed and to remind you of taking your medication, As opposed to running up to it and swallowing it themselves.

Puppies are like babies, But they are only babies for 2 weeks in the beginning. It doesn't take long to potty train them. I would need to walk a lab, But if it were a service lab, It would be fairly tame. A service animal is very tame compared to a dog, dog.

But, it's just morphed in to, "Let's just adopt a dog from a shelter". Loll. 

Edited February 9, 2023 by believeinHim

[Neighbor]

Hi, My own little buddy adopted me. He was in the woods, a puppy curled up inside a cold coil of rubber house at the abandoned cabin next to ours.  It was very cold out. I spent three hours getting him to come to  me by placing bits of food behind me while facing away from him. He was so hungry eventually he came and ate, and then came up close behind my back. He has never left. He is like a shadow. Fun little guy at 20 pounds and thinks he is 12 feet tall and bullet proof. He is just at my side even now.He is about three years old now I guess.

At my age I did not want another pet in my life. Didn't want to walk an animal, nor care for one, nor pay vets for their services, nor get licenses, and certainly didn't want to be cleaning up after any animal that can't flush a toilet itself, LOL But there he is ,a great treat that comes with an absolute responsibility to pay for his care and give him care too.

Vet costs are way astronomical these days! Dog food is expensive, even a leash and collar are expensive.  A harness  more than I pay for my own coat. Animals are an expensive treat for sure. Golden retrievers are very nice, but high energy animals that cost $2000 to $3000 dollars training can cost a whole lot more on top of that. Labs are way too powerful if one is not agile  and strong themself.

However there is Southeastern Guide Dogs out of Florida that may be a very good information resource. https://www.guidedogs.org

And yes I am recommending caring for an animal or thinking at least about having to give it exercise every single day and that does include picking up after it everyday.

So mornings when at the woods and it is 16 degrees out with wind blowing and the dog needs his "exercise" I do think why did I ever feed this little guy that first time.  At this point it just doesn't matter he is mine to care for and he cares for me back. With privilege comes responsibility and responsibility must be tended, always!

Much like what God has for us too I suppose. Privilege and responsibility. Over the years We have had giant dogs great danes, dobies, a Siberian  husky that I still think was a wolf, and a couple of beagles.

Every animal has been work work to do everyday.

This little rat terrier is  a nice change of pace though, very loyal like a beagle, but a hunter like a fox. He goes for what is beneath the ground. And he is a very good alert dog, he whispers a grrr if he hears something that is foreign to our own comfort zone.  When there is a bear about, or a leopard, he alerts differently than if there is a deer. He communicates then with his ears, bending and tipping them differently but consistently at each different potential threat he wants to communicate about to me.

Lot of work though!

 

 

 

[kwikphilly]

You can " oi vey " all you like but someone has to speak up for all the precious little fur babies that cannot speak for themselves,there are people who take the responsibility of adopting a pet as seriously as people who adopt children,then there are others that have no idea what that entails- believe it,Ive had to re- home many a pet had on a whim

You said so yourself how difficult it is for you with many a situation,a pet will only complicate matters un-necessarily. You posted in " Looking for Advice" - this is my advice!