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[Coruscating]

deleted

Edited September 27, 2024 by Coruscating

[NConly]

The Stranger

A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later. As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. Mom taught me to love the Word of God. Dad taught me to obey it. But the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spellbound for hours each evening. He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars. The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn't seem to mind, but sometimes Mom would quietly get up - while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places - and go to her room read her Bible and pray. I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave. You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house - not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor, however, used occasional four-letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home - not even for cooking. But the stranger felt he needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often. He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (too much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I know now that my early concepts of the man/woman relationship were influenced by the stranger. As I look back, I believe it was the grace of God that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents. Yet he was seldom rebuked and never asked to leave. More than thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name? We always called him TV.

[Coruscating]

@NConly Cool text, thanks. I think I am too sleepy to connect the dots.  I will think about it tomorrow.

[D. Adrien]

11 hours ago, Coruscating said:

At the entrance of my building, we have a doorman that I will call Mr. Something. In fact, there are 4 doormen, for 3 daily shifts (24/7). They were always great, with a friendly "hi", the short "it's raining today!", the usual. I was grateful for their presence. Until one of them left and Mr. Something arrived.

Mr. Something is about 20 years older than me. I am modest. It is hard to not get attention here, because I am taller than average in my country, but my attire doesn't invite any attention.

For a year, he has been quite odd towards me:
Mr. Something discovered my name and my door number by himself.  I don't know his name and if I knew I would call him "Mr. Something", but he calls me by my first name alone. He compliments me too much, and for months I have been avoiding going out because I don't want to be seen by him. My once jovial "good morning" changed to a dry one, with my eyes fixed on the door. Yet, he still makes comments directed at me. His comments are not vulgar. I have seen him pointing his mobile phone at me, possibly to take pictures, but I can't have any certainty of this suspicion.

 A friend visited me and Mr. Something was almost rude to him. I trust the testimony of this friend. He is a christian and we have been friends since we were teens. My friend says this man has been harassing me, he wanted me to complain but I didn't, for two reasons:
1. I would rather deal with the tension I felt now, than his possible resentment. What if he starts to defame me? He has access to landlords, neighbors, other doormen. He is right there at the door of my building, with the role to mediate any issues between neighbors, or to call maintenance if needed. 
2. What if he is just being kind, not even taking pictures. What if I should testify of Christ's kindness, instead of being defensive?

I decided that if he ever called me by a non-professional pronoun, I would say something. In my Language we only use "you" for children, friends, family, and people you want to be close to. In this post I will differentiate the formal you from the casual you.

I thought Mr. Something didn't have a shift today. Hence I went to the building's living room, where there are vending machines. Mr. Something was there watching television. I said a dry "Good afternoon", he didn't answer, I was happy, I got a tiny pack of oreos and started to leave the room. He then said "Good afternoon!!!" with an intonation that, in our Language, tells that he thought I hadn't greeted him. He hadn't heard me after all. I said "Good afternoon, again." And he started to apologize and walked towards me, got too close, as I tried to get to the elevator. I said "It's alright, it's alright." And he started to say: "Coruscating you mean a lot to me, you have no idea of how much you mean to me, if I don't see you, I don't see anyone else, if I don't hear you, I don't hear anyone else, you have no idea how much you mean to me, what you represent to me." Looking at the floor, I said one "thanks, have a nice day", but he kept talking, saying stuff that I blocked out. And finally the elevator doors closed.

It was almost time for the shift to change, so I decided to act immediately, without a second opinion, once I got home. I called the building entrance, Mr. Something answered. I was calm but told him: "Hello, Sir, I was at the common room right now, I'm "Coruscating", you were there too. I am calling to say that I didn't like the interaction you had with me today. I ask you please to keep within the professional "good morning", "good afternoon", avoiding calling me "you". I will also respect you and I will be cordial, like I am with everybody." He answered: It's a deal.
 

I remember: Be prudent like snakes, harmless like doves, yes. Yet, I keep wondering: Was I merely prudent? What if my reaction was unnecessary? What if I am acting like my former self: careless just because I think I'm right? My tone was not arrogant, but was my action arrogant? What if I should take my christian friend and ask Mr. Something  "Do you believe in God?", instead of closing this door?

Thus now I ask you: What do you think of this situation, as another christian who knows how much each person means to Jesus Christ. What would you do in this situation?

Thank you.

First of all, I'm not a woman. I believe you handled this situation very well. You clearly communicated your position politely and he was acceptable to it and now the expectation is that he will act professionally. I wouldn't give it another thought unless his behavior doesn't change.

[Coruscating]

36 minutes ago, D. Adrien said:

First of all, I'm not a woman. I believe you handled this situation very well. You clearly communicated your position politely and he was acceptable to it and now the expectation is that he will act professionally. I wouldn't give it another thought unless his behavior doesn't change.

Thank you so much for your answer. I would say the same to a friend in the same situation, but I really needed to "hear" it from someone else. Thank you.

[farouk]

23 hours ago, NConly said:

The Stranger

A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small Tennessee town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later. As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. Mom taught me to love the Word of God. Dad taught me to obey it. But the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spellbound for hours each evening. He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars. The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn't seem to mind, but sometimes Mom would quietly get up - while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places - and go to her room read her Bible and pray. I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave. You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house - not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor, however, used occasional four-letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home - not even for cooking. But the stranger felt he needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often. He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (too much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I know now that my early concepts of the man/woman relationship were influenced by the stranger. As I look back, I believe it was the grace of God that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents. Yet he was seldom rebuked and never asked to leave. More than thirty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name? We always called him TV.

@NConly Well written description there..........

[NConly]

2 minutes ago, farouk said:

@NConly Well written description there..........

It is well written author is unknown I believe

[farouk]

1 minute ago, NConly said:

It is well written author is unknown I believe

@NConly There's a lot of truth to it. Philippians 4.8 comes to mind.

[NConly]

2 minutes ago, farouk said:

@NConly There's a lot of truth to it. Philippians 4.8 comes to mind.

pretty much most all media is now liberal

[Coruscating]

@NConly May you explain how that text relates to my post? I still don't get it as a reply to the situation I was in.