In a group, but so alone because of my beliefs.

[Xandra]

Hi, I'm new here and not quite sure yet of what I'm doing, but I'll give it a shot.

I'm a member of an online diet group, and started posting about a year and half ago with a group of other women on a board there. I've become very fond of many of the people there, but still feel so alone because I'm a Christian and am not comfortable talking about my beliefs. I don't mean to step on toes - let me know if I'm out of line - but all the women there to whom God and going to church means anything are Catholic, except one. I know they're very good people, but while God is mentioned - one of them refers Him as the "Big Guy"and states that she can't relate to him as a Father, only as a friend - Christ is never mentioned, and those that do attend mass regularly seem to be there mostly for choir and other good works through the church. Other members of the board include one who is into wiccan religion, one is very anti-Christian and while she doesn't dwell on it, there are subtle remarks, such as her mentioning a book she's reading called "Why I'm Not A Christian". Others are simply non-believers, and many are into yoga, which I am not comfortable being involved in. One member is a lesbian who "married" her partner last May. One attends a protestant church regularly with her family and supposedly is very much into Christianity, but she supported the ruling that let Terry Shaivo die, has stated that she hates her mother and uses language that is definitely not Christian. The moderator of the board, who is a nurse and runs a clinic for eating disorders and is always saying "Let go and let God", as well as being a strong proponent of prayer, recommended an e-mail address last year which I looked up; the material there included a statement that shot down Christianity and Christian beliefs as being fiction (I can't remember the exact words) but that was the message.

These people have come to mean a lot to me, as I am very isolated and rarely around "normal" people. Let me explain: I take care of my mother who has Alzheimer's - she's in the very late stages and can't walk, mostly can't talk, can't do anything for herself. She lives here with me, and also living here is my thirty one year old autistic son, and while he's high functioning and really not a problem, he's still very much into a world of his own making. I have one friend whom I see regularly and sometimes talk to a friend on the phone - and that's it except for my online friends. I don't have a job outside the home. I don't go to church anymore, partly because I really can't take my mother with me and my son doesn't want to go; when I do get out, it's almost always to shop for groceries, etc. Anyway - I'm very unhappy and feel like I don't fit in to the on-line group. Many of the women on the board know each other well - they've been meeting in Florida in the spring for the past few years and are already planning this year's retreat, so have become friends face to face. They call each other, IM and e-mail each other, but I'm not a part of that, although they've been supportive and caring towards me. Recently there was a brief mention of religion and various belifs people had - I just stated that I "had" something that meant everything to me and quoted part of John 8:32 ..."and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free". Since then I've noticed what I feel is a cooling towards me and a lessening in the support of some whom I know aren't "into religion". I'm very unhappy, and I've come to realize that what I need is to be in the fellowship of other Christians who understand and believe the way I do. That's how I ended up here, but I'm not sure whether to completely cut ties with my online group, or continue to post there because I care for those people too.

[Leonard]

Paul specifically tells us NOT to refuse to have anything to do with 'worldly' people, and Jesus was FAMOUS (or infamous) for hanging out with the sinners!

You just have to learn to disagree agreeably. State your case, and back it up politely. I don't think there should be any big problem; the other people seem comfortable sharing their beliefs.

[paperflowers]

Leonard this will be the first time that I have not agreed with something you have said to me or on the boards....last Thursday night in Bible study our pastor made this comment as we finished up the book of Romans. DON'T THINK YOU ARE SO SPIRITUAL THAT YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH JUST ANYONE. EVERYTHING IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR LIFE. I believe this fits the life of the lady who started this post. God's way and his view was much larger than ours could ever be and therefore how he was able to handle all that he did is not something all of us can do. I know from experience on my job just how hard it is to be around unbelievers or those who say they are Christians and their lives show other wise.

I do not know that she should leave the group necessarily but she she does need more of us who show our lives as Christians.....I wish that she did have more of us around her. If for nothing more than encouragement and to say I know just how you feel...once when this or that was happening I felt like .....as we fill in the blanks she sees that she is not alone.

So I hope that as the new year comes in she will find someone to talk to that helps her through this. And good luck with keeping the weight off.

[Xandra]

Leonard this will be the first time that I have not agreed with something you have said to me or on the boards....last Thursday night in Bible study our pastor made this comment as we finished up the book of Romans. DON'T THINK YOU ARE SO SPIRITUAL THAT YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH JUST ANYONE. EVERYTHING IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR LIFE. I believe this fits the life of the lady who started this post. God's way and his view was much larger than ours could ever be and therefore how he was able to handle all that he did is not something all of us can do. I know from experience on my job just how hard it is to be around unbelievers or those who say they are Christians and their lives show other wise.

I do not know that she should leave the group necessarily but she she does need more of us who show our lives as Christians.....I wish that she did have more of us around her. If for nothing more than encouragement and to say I know just how you feel...once when this or that was happening I felt like .....as we fill in the blanks she sees that she is not alone.

So I hope that as the new year comes in she will find someone to talk to that helps her through this. And good luck with keeping the weight off.

[Xandra]

Thank you for your supportive comment Paperflowers. This comment is also in response to Leonard who presented his views.

There is so much on talk today on Christian programming and in churches about the antagonistic attitide and intolerance so many have today for Christians. If I were to present my Christian beliefs in the forum that I was talking about, I know I would it would not be welcome and I firmly believe that I'd be reminded that that forum wasn't created to discuss religion, and that others would fearthat I was trying to cinvert them. Yet the plight of homosexuals is allowed to be talked about, and there is much sympathy there for those in that life-style. One memeber was in a bike-a- thon this past summer that was highly charged emotionally with support for the homosexuals for whom the profits were to benefit. She is a wonderful, caring person who thought she was working hard for a group that is severely and unnecessarily maligned in society today. If she were a Christian, she'd be one of the dearest that I could ever know. But she's a non-believer, and was raised that way although lately there has been some questioning thinking out loud from her about God and religion.

I felt it was common knowledge among Christians today that things weren't going to get any easier for us in these end times (maybe that's another subject and is controversial, but that's what I believe). I've heard SO much about the injustices happening to Christians today. Reading a message from someone on this board, I'm reminded that Christians are to seek the company of other Christians - and that doesn't mean that we're not to do our best to help those who haven't accepted Christ as their savior to come to Christ so that they may be saved. But thinking about it, spending so much of my time with these people has had a negative effect on my spirit - I know I need to get back, somehow, to going to church and fellowshipping with others who love the Lord. I've been seeking company that has done nothing to feed me spritually. Yes, Jesus did "hang out" with sinners, but He was there as a teacher to lead them to salvation, not as one who sought their company for the purpose of socialization and support.

By the way, I'm not in the diet program so much to lose weight at this time - I started out over-weight, but after losing a lot of weight it became difficult to stop and I have developed an eating disorder. I have to fight to let myself eat enough to be healthy. It goes along with my situation and with the depression I also battle, and a need for control in what is a very unhappy life for me currently.

Edited December 31, 2005 by Xandra

[Bolts]

Hi Xandra.

Personally, I don't think you should be worrying. Jesus is a solid and sure foundation. Our precious cornerstone. I think you should just carry on doing what your doing and being who God made you to be. I don't know why these ladies have cooled toward you - but, perhaps its because they didn't realise just how much Christ means to you or how knowledgable in the word you are. Perhaps it is respect for the differences in denominations. Whatever it is, don't worry. God will reveal it to you in his time.

This diet group sounds interesting. You must be learning so much through it. God has you there for a reason, so relax and trust him.