is 19 too young to get married?

[>> Hannah <<]

hey, i'm 19 n i am gettin married in 5months to a guy who is 21. we are both christians. are we too young to get married?

i would really appreciate some feedback on this. x

Edited March 1, 2006 by >> Hannah <<

[Ovedya]

When I married my wife she was 18 and I was 20. We struggled for the first 3 years of our marriage, mainly due to the fact that we were both not intellectually or emotionally mature enough to deal with the various trials that marriage puts you through during the first few years.

It's different for everyone, obviously. But I think that if the both of us had our druthers at the time, we would have waited a couple of years before getting married.

Take your time. What's the rush?

[apothanein kerdos]

Depends on the people. Financial stability, spiritual maturity, emotional maturity, intellectual maturity differ from person to person. I have some friends that got married right out of high school and they are already divorced. I compare this to one of my other friends who also got married his freshman year in college and is currently working with his wife in the mission field....and their marriage is extremely strong. It depends on the people.

[Iryssa]

What's the rush?

Well, for me it's getting married before certain temptations become almost unbearably strong *blushes*

I think it definitely depends on the person. I'm glad he's older than you...I wasn't ready at your age, but it's possible that you are. Take a step back and observe yourself critically for a moment, and don't just say "I am!" Really take a long, hard, cold stare at the person you are. You don't want to get married and find out, too late, that you weren't ready (and really, it's not as hard to cancel a wedding as it sounds, so don't let that interfere...believe me, I've done it ). If you can honestly say "yes, I am ready for all the trials that may come; for the tears as well as the smiles," then you have my blessing

[Ovedya]

It's at least reasonable to take a step back, examine the situation carefully, and consider whether you want to make such a commitment at this particular juncture in your life. I mean, think about it: You wouldn't buy a house without looking at from all the angles. Buying a house is a serious long-term commitment that requires a lot of consideration and considerable sacrifice.

With a house you're only talking about 30 years or less. With a marriage you're talking about the rest of your lifetime. Folks don't just quickly jump in and buy a house sight unseen. Neither should you jump quickly into marriage without thinking about all the angles. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that takes a lot of sacrifice and work.

Also think about your school and career goals. A lot of times marriage puts a damper on those things. You might think that you can go to school, graduate, then get the career that you want, and then be successful, but what if you have kids? Once you have kids things change drastically. Suddenly you have to put some things on hold for a while until your kids are old enough to take care of themselves. That's at least 16-17 years.

So the best scenario is to put the marriage on hold until you get out of school and start that career. By that time you will be mature enough to handle juggling a marriage, a career, and perhaps a child or two.

A lot of things to consider here. Don't take them lightly. You are talking about the rest of your life here, remember?

[swordbearing1]

hey, i'm 19 n i am gettin married in 5months to a guy who is 21. we are both christians. are we too young to get married?

i would really appreciate some feedback on this. x

I believe that if you are asking this question 5 months before the nuptials, then you are having a true doubt as to your own readiness for this big step.

In my experience, having been engaged at 18 to a fellow that I thought I loved..I realize that I was just in love with the idea of love. I actually did marry a man that God provided for me later on at age 23 and I have been so blessed after 30 years of marriage to him! Please, take a step back and think and pray about this! Are you marrying in order to avoid the pressure of sensual desire? God can help with that without you having to marry! I would suggest a period of fasting and prayer for the both of you, where you would ask God to speak to you about this decision.

If you both discover that you KNOW God's will is for you both to be married, then just know that hardships will come your way, and together you will weather them with His help!

Also know that a postponement is not a terrible thing as well! You may need some more time to discover that this is truly God's will and plan for the both of you. It seems youa re not truly clear of His will just yet!

God bless you as you seek Him!

[Constant]

I was 18 when I got married.

[EricH]

It would probably depend on the individual in question and their circumstances

[Marnie]

I think 40 is the perfect age to get married.

[darkest_red]

My parents got married at 16. 39 years (nearly 40) later, neither of them have any regrets.

As other people have said, it depends on the individual. Asking just 5 months before is a little worrying though- what made you ask?