My father and I: reconciliation

[ladypeartree]

praying that God will help you to do what is right in His sight and that you find peace in all this

[LightofJesus]

Stepping out in faith is the first thing you can do in this kind of situation when it is a command of the Lord to love one another. You have done that and I believe that, according to the Word, that faith is the only way to please God! Your faith in reaching out no matter how small it seems to us it is huge to God and He can use the small things, Amen? In one of the posts here said that love is not a feeling and it is not, I agree totally. We have a tendancy to rely on our feelings soooo much that it truly clouds our heart. But when we step out in faith disregarding our "feelings" then things can change!!!

I pray your heart is open to recieve what only God can give you in regards to the reconciliation between you and your father. At times though it is also the other person who also needs to recieve, which can only happen through prayer. You reaching out has opened that door so keep it open so your father can also recieve what God has for him!!

I pray that God give you the courage and the strength to go forward in this and the compassion of our Lord to forgive and to love in the way only Jesus can. In Jesus' name, Amen

[Footsteps]

May the Lord bring about reconciliation. +

May I ask why you say your father is 'everything I hate in ahuman being'?

It would take me to long to explain it all to you. I think, in a nutshell, I see al lot of my father in me (or the other way around) and it scares me. We are to much alike. When I look at myself, I see him and I hate that. In the way I talk, act, and think. Even the way I look. It's hard to like yourself when I remind me of someone I don't like. If that makes any sense.

One thing that really bothers me about him is everytime I do something wrong, I apologize to him, but yet he never apologizes to me for any of the things he has done to me. It's like he's totally blind to everything. I'm sick of sucking up to him. It's time he apologized to me for a change. I don't like his wife either. She pats him on the head and tells him he's right about everything. Neither of them are Christians, but they think they are. They worship the dollar bill instead of God. They are both proud and arogant. I want God to whipe the smile off thier faces.

A couple of Christmas's ago I made an excuse for not showing up for Christmas Eve and blew them off. I couldn't take thier lame money and gift generated Chritmas anymore. I was mad at my niece (who I have since made up with) at the time and I didn't want to see her that Christmas, so I wrote them a note saying I was going to go out of town for Christmas Eve (which I didn't), stuck it in their mailbox, and didn't show up. Nobody even cared. Nobody called or made sure I was okay. There was no, "Gee, this isn't like Mike (no, I was not born Footsteps. lol.) not to show up. I wonder if he's alright. Let's call him and see." None of that. I was just blown off. My dad thought I didn't show up because of him. He always thinks everything is about him. Instead of reaching out to me and making sure I was okay, he became selfish and focused totally on himself. His wife is the same way. She didn't reach out to me either. They do this all the time with everything. Somebody else is always the "bad guy" while they never do anything wrong.

I went back about six months later and told him I was sorry, like a whipped dog with his tail between his legs, but I never got any apology or concern about my well being back. They made me feel like I was scum for not showing up for Christmas. I decided that was it and I blew them off and never talked to them again. I honestly think my life is better off without them in it and the only reason I'm trying any type of reconciliation is because I'm walking with the Lord now and feel like God would want me to make up with him. But in my natural state, I could care less.

You have to understand my dad and his wife. They have lots of money and they look down on my brother and I because we came from my mom, who was never "good enough" for him. He got her pregnant in high school and they were forced to get married. My fayher never really wanted either my brother or I, and he even said that to my face once. He's lucky to be alive. I think he tries hard to be a good dad in some ways, but he's not doing the things I think a dad should do. I'm a natural with kids. I love kids and enjoy being around them. I want to get married and have a few of my own some day. My dad is not good with kids and he ruined my life by being a bad father. He needs to aopologize to me for all the trouble he's caused me in my life, but he doesn't get it. I've had a year and a half of peace not being around him. I even live in a different state and feel good about not having him or his wife around to muck up my life, but now that I am back with God, I don't feel right about hating him. I don't know how to love him except just to go to the Lord and ask Him to help me to reach out to my father. I feel more like I'm asking God to help me tolerate him.

I need lots of prayer people. Thanks for reading this.