What is grounds for divorce?

[Floatingaxe]

Just recently my husband told me that he does not want a divorce but seperation... for me and the kids to go find somewhere to live temperaroliy, and for me to obviously get a job. He gets to stay in the 4 bedroom house and force me to after 5 years of being a stay at home mom, get a job and support myself and the kids for approximately 6 months. I agree there should be seperation, but I think that it's a lot easier for one man to leave to a relative's or friend's house than me and the 2 kids. But "he's paying for the house, he gets to stay here". I am forcing divorce more than he is... he hasn't forgiven me yet and keeps telling me he probobly wont ever. that is just holding us both in bondage... i kinda just wish he'd make a decision. It's been a rough 2 1/2 years. thank you all for your help and input.

Rosie, hon, I am so sorry.

My husband says you should not move out. If you move out it is likely [depending on where you live] he will not be financially responsible for you or the children. He also says if your husband is a Christian he should grow up. Biblically, even if he has Biblical grounds for divorce, according to Gods word he is still financially responslible for his wife and children.

The two things you can do is get a Nouthetic councilor, you can find one on the NANC.org website. https://www.nanc.org/directory.asp?sortby=l_name&sub=5 And find a Christian lawyer. That way you can get personal counseling from Gods word and legal advise.

I believe it is possible for your husband's heart to be softened and for your marriage to be saved. However, I do not believe you should neglect preparing for the worst. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I have seen many people go on believing that things would get better and in the end losing out on everything cause they did not prepare for the worst. Lots of hugs.

In His Grip,

Biblicist

Amen!

[SammySmile]

Just recently my husband told me that he does not want a divorce but seperation... for me and the kids to go find somewhere to live temperaroliy, and for me to obviously get a job. He gets to stay in the 4 bedroom house and force me to after 5 years of being a stay at home mom, get a job and support myself and the kids for approximately 6 months. I agree there should be seperation, but I think that it's a lot easier for one man to leave to a relative's or friend's house than me and the 2 kids. But "he's paying for the house, he gets to stay here". I am forcing divorce more than he is... he hasn't forgiven me yet and keeps telling me he probobly wont ever. that is just holding us both in bondage... i kinda just wish he'd make a decision. It's been a rough 2 1/2 years. thank you all for your help and input.

Rosie,

First, legally he is responsible for his children. Any Court in the country will compel him to pay you child support. That's a fact. Second, if he's sending you away, you should file for divorce and start that process. Forget about him making up his mind. He will probably never make up his mind. (That's just my opinion; you have to do what you think best, of course.) Neglecting to care for your family is what Paul called "being worse than an infidel." I would sugget you consult a family/divorce attorney.

I appreciate the Lord can work in your husband's heart. But you have to take care of your kids. You have to get on with your life. Don't let the children and yourself suffer needlessly waiting forever.

[LightofJesus]

I Cor. 7:28: "But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned."

Remarriage is allowed after divorce.

Sammy

You took this verse out of context.

This was speaking to virgins.

The context:

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.

The second half of verse 28 is obviously talking about virgins, but Sammy was quoting the first half of the verse. Who is that addressed to? The person in verse 27, who is loosed from a wife? Because that's what the passage looks like to me.

Yes, I took nothing out of context. Just the opposite. The word "loosed" literally means "destroyed." In other words, if one finds themselves with a destroyed or terminated marriage, remarriage is not sin.

Verse 27 says

Art thou bound unto a wife?

Asking if they are married and continues to say:

seek not to be loosed.

Which is saying do not seek to seperate! Then it goes on to say:

Art thou loosed from a wife?

That means no longer with your wife, then it says:

seek NOT a wife.

Now 28 goes in the same direction as verse 27 did.

But if thou marry,

This part is like answering the question at the beginning of verse 27.

It goes on to say that when you marry there will be trouble It does not say anything at all that it is OK to remarry!

"LOJ"

With all due respect, you're just not understanding the plain text.

You say, "This part is like answering the question at the beginning of verse 27."

My question to you is, How is saying "But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned," answering "Art thou bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed"? I think you need to read the passage carefully, my friend.

You say, "It does not say anything at all that it is OK to remarry!"

You are not correct. That is exactly what it says.

Again, "Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast NOT sinned."

The plain meaning of the passage is clear.

Ok, here it is in the NIV from verse 25-28

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give judgment as one by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

They felt that it was so close for the second coming Paul was trying to get them to not make a lot of changes in their lives for the world was not going to be as it was much longer, we now are living in the end times as they were. We have been since Jesus went to the cross.

Jesus wants us to honor marriage as sacred not just go out and get a divorce whenever we want to. I do believe that there are times it is needed as in hostile marriages and ones where there is infidelity. But there is a limit on divorcing.

[Guest Biblicist]

Ok, here it is in the NIV from verse 25-28

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give judgment as one by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

They felt that it was so close for the second coming Paul was trying to get them to not make a lot of changes in their lives for the world was not going to be as it was much longer, we now are living in the end times as they were. We have been since Jesus went to the cross.

Jesus wants us to honor marriage as sacred not just go out and get a divorce whenever we want to. I do believe that there are times it is needed as in hostile marriages and ones where there is infidelity. But there is a limit on divorcing.

LoJ,

In the KJV the entire phrase Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife is left out. Or put in, depending on your view point.

So the REAL question is, which translation is closest to the original? Maybe in another thread, we could explore these verses with the proper Hermeneutics, using Strong's Concordance or some such Bible help.

In His Grip,

[SammySmile]

I appreciate modern translations, but they obviously have their limitations. The NIV says, "Are you unmarried?" The original Greek, however, says, "luo," which means to loosen what is fast or bound, meaning to unbind, destroy or dissolve.

"Loosed" is set in contrast to "bound," clearly reinforcing the concept that "loosed" equates divorce. Paul in essence is saying, "If you are married, do not seek a divorce. If you are divorced, do not seek to get married again."

The Holy Bible from Ancient Eastern Manuscripts actually translates this passage as, "If you are divorced from a wife, do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you do not sin."

In order to find the truth of these passages, it's important to look beyond our modern translations which are, I'm afraid, a little tainted with interpretations of our modern day tradition of condeming and ensnaring divorced folks.

And yes, I agree divorce should have limitations.

[Constant]

Well to me the only way I would divorce my hubby is if he kept making the same bad judgements over and over again. If he was unfaithful, I would forgive him. If he kept on doing that to me I would divorce him. I don't have to live my life like that. When I took my wedding vows one of the vows was through good times and bad times. We can work through anything with God but you can only tolerate so many bad times.

[sheya joie]

Ok, here it is in the NIV from verse 25-28

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give judgment as one by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

They felt that it was so close for the second coming Paul was trying to get them to not make a lot of changes in their lives for the world was not going to be as it was much longer, we now are living in the end times as they were. We have been since Jesus went to the cross.

Jesus wants us to honor marriage as sacred not just go out and get a divorce whenever we want to. I do believe that there are times it is needed as in hostile marriages and ones where there is infidelity. But there is a limit on divorcing.

Ok, I am seriously freaking out here. By changing the translation from KJV's 'loosed from a wife' to the above-stated NIV's 'unmarried,' it sounds like now everyone who marries, no matter what the circumstances, is sinning!

Well, I knew there was a reason I stopped reading the NIV...

[billie]

[LightofJesus]

Ok, here it is in the NIV from verse 25-28

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give judgment as one by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

They felt that it was so close for the second coming Paul was trying to get them to not make a lot of changes in their lives for the world was not going to be as it was much longer, we now are living in the end times as they were. We have been since Jesus went to the cross.

Jesus wants us to honor marriage as sacred not just go out and get a divorce whenever we want to. I do believe that there are times it is needed as in hostile marriages and ones where there is infidelity. But there is a limit on divorcing.

LoJ,

In the KJV the entire phrase Are you unmarried do not seek for a wife is left out. Or put in, depending on your view point.

So the REAL question is, which translation is closest to the original? Maybe in another thread, we could explore these verses with the proper Hermeneutics, using Strong's Concordance or some such Bible help.

In His Grip,

Strong's

Loosed

3089 luo- loo-o; to "loosen" break(up) destroy, dissolve (un-) loose, melt, put off.

verse 27 in the King James says;

Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

In verse 25 Paul is not making a commandment, he is simply trying to help prevent trouble which he states in verse 28.

All he is saying in all these scriptures is to stay as you are for the time of the Lord draws near. He did not want any to miss the coming of the Lord due to needless burden in their lives.

[Guest Biblicist]

LoJ,

You do not have to explain it to me, my friend, although I thank you for doing that. I do not believe in remarriage after divorce.

I do find it interesting that elsewhere in God's word it says, "he who finds a wife finds a good thing" and here it says. " But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." It makes me wonder what sort of relationships our author had been in or witnessed to make such a statement. Maybe he is only addressing women here, since it is virgins he addresses directly before this statement. It's good for a man to find a wife, but those (virgins) who do marry will face many troubles in this life. Sort of makes for slim pickings!

I am so totally kidding!!!

In His Grip,

Edited December 4, 2006 by Biblicist