Shad Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 445 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/10/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/03/1974 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I am ashamed to say that I have a very bad habit of lying especially when I'm in a tight spot and I know the lie will buy me some extra time but in the end it always blows up in my face but no matter how many times it blows up I always do it again. I recently lost a wonderful wonderful lady that I was in a relationship with for the last 5 going on 6 years because of my constant lying about money and my job. I used to always use the whole "Well I didn't want to hurt you" excuse when we both really knew it was because I don't like conflict and confrontation and every time those 2 subjects came up there was one of 2 ways to handle it.... Face it head on and have the fight right then or lie about it and buy more time in hopes things would blow over and she'd forget or not think of it as a huge deal and trust me option # 2 is only worse when you finally get around to it because now not only do you have the original conflict to deal with you've just thrown the fact you lied about it on top of everythingelse. Now I was raised that lying was wrong but I also watched my dad lie himself out of a lot of things as well. I always told myself I would be nothing like my father but yet here I am almost an exact duplicate of everything he was. I'm not proud that I lie when I'm backed into a corner with no way out and I want to change that but I don't know how. And before someone says "Well Just don't lie" it's not as simple as that. I've grown so accustom to doing it that it almost comes as natural as breathing at times I will lie and not even realize it until afterwards. Kinda like a smoker trying to just go cold turkey it's almost impossible. I will admit that since I lost this lovely lady who I thought was going to be my wife someday it has made me more determined than ever to defeat this part of me that I hate and despise so much and I just would like to ask everyone to please pray for me to be able to do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kari21 Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 140 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,846 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 10 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/04/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/05/1987 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Why Do We Lie Even When We Know It's Wrong? Because we're stupid. ...and still have our sinful natures. Just be aware that you'll never be rid of that nature until you reach the kingdom. You will fall a lot, but as long as you repent and seek to obey the Lord again, he will always pick you back up, dust you off, and put you back on the right path. That's no excuse to willfully sin though...you must strive to live as Christ would have you live. The Bible tells us that we are in a war. A war with our natures and a war with the devil. You cannot sit on the sidelines. To not fight is to actually go over to the other side. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. All he can do is tempt...it's up to you to choose whom you will listen to.....him, or the Lord. Praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnExample Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 184 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/06/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 11, 2007 Why Do We Lie Even When We Know It's Wrong? Because we're stupid. ...and still have our sinful natures. Just be aware that you'll never be rid of that nature until you reach the kingdom. You will fall a lot, but as long as you repent and seek to obey the Lord again, he will always pick you back up, dust you off, and put you back on the right path. That's no excuse to willfully sin though...you must strive to live as Christ would have you live. The Bible tells us that we are in a war. A war with our natures and a war with the devil. You cannot sit on the sidelines. To not fight is to actually go over to the other side. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. All he can do is tempt...it's up to you to choose whom you will listen to.....him, or the Lord. Praying for you! We war not against flesh and blood but against principalities and power, etc. And we do have the Armor of God with which to fight. But, the fight is not between us and satan...it's between satan and God. Satan only uses us to render us ineffective for God's plan and purposes for our lives. We do have a sinful nature (which is the flesh),but we are to crucify it daily. How do we do that? By walking in the Spirit. In order to walk in the spirit we must study, pray, spending time with God meditating on His word and we must fellowship with other believers. As our relationship with God, through Jesus Christ increases or gets strong (its a renewing of the mind process), we will fall less and less into temptation. We also must be willing and able to hear the voice of the Lord through the Holy Spirit, who is our teacher, comforter, and He convicts us of wrongdoing--even before we do it. I believe that lieing is a spirit and it belongs to satan. He's the father of lies. We should pray and ask God to help us overcome our transgressions. If we truly want to stop doing something, we will crucify our flesh. I also believe that saying, "we still have our sin nature" because it gives us a card blanche to do wrong because of who we are...sinners. I believe we must move to the other side of the cross, which is after Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. Christ died so we can live life abundantly. Through His death, burial, and resurrection, we are also made the righteousness of Christ Jesus. We must start to embrace who we are as a result of the resurrection. Like Paul we press on toward the mark of the most high calling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.22 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 11, 2007 Shad, have you considered not doing the things that you will have to lie about? Think about it this way, if you have to lie about something that you want to do, then you should not be doing it in the first place. If you refrain from doing them, then you will have no reason to lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blien Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 346 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,050 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/02/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1982 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Brother Shad, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Because I was in some very similar situations myself and it hurts soo bad. I belive the reason why you lie and hate confrontations is because you were really hurt sometime before and so you built walls around your heart to avoid getting hurt again. My dear dear friend.. if this is what happened I am totally filled with compassion for your situation because I went through something exactly the same. In my case it was I was betrayed with friends when i told them not to tell some things I would share with them in secret about myself. And when I was hurt by them and shut them out from the most intimate parts (which I also cried about as a kid), I relied heavily on my parents and my parents ended up betraying me too from a few things... so I came to be close to my sisters and THEY BETRAYED ME AS WELL. I won't say what these 2 other things were because they are soo personal to share here but. I belive go was putting me through these trials so that he could lead me up to a very important moment in my life which happened this year.. and it ended up being very similar to what you went through as you tell us. Well.. my advice is that you run to GOD and he will help open your heart, learn to trust him and ask him to interfer in yourlife even though you have free will. Let him take command of your body and show you how to lead your life. Forget about the past, the past does not help the us now or in the future. Focus on the NOW, the time is only NOW. Ask God to help you, cry out to him in utter brokeness and he will hear you. Tell him your story and how you feel and he will show you the way and open your heart to others and give you courage to confront confrontation.. I will pray that HE helps you the same way HE helped me. GOD BLESS YOU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blien Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 346 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,050 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/02/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1982 Share Posted October 11, 2007 (edited) Sorry if I can recommend a book to you, please read. THE BAIT OF SATAN by John Bevere. It was the book that helped me see what the Devil was doing in my life and really turned me to GOD. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read it. I belive that you also will get back with your friend if you open your heart and be ready against what comes.. but give it time.. GOD BLESS YOU! Edited October 11, 2007 by Blien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trusting Jesus Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,050 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/09/1952 Share Posted October 11, 2007 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 Easier said than done. Pray that God will help you with this. <>< ><> Nathele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricH Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 366 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 10,933 Content Per Day: 1.57 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/21/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted October 11, 2007 Moved from General Discussion to Looking for Advise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rest is a weapon Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 125 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/01/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/20/1956 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Your dilema is not undefeatable Shad. But it will be a battle to overcome it. Your mentioning your father being the same with his lying, caught my attention and I have seen it so many times. The bible speaks of sin being transmitted, if you will, in a verse that says "the sins of the fathers will be visited upon the third and fourth generations". That says to me that a particular issue, (in your example lying) that is being practiced by your father is going to be passed down through the next four generations. Having licence to influence you in your life. What you can do, because this is a spiritual issue, is practice spiritual warfare to break this down in your life and possibly protect your sons in their lives. How do you do this? First understand who you are as a christian, Jesus took back the authority Adam relinquished to satan for a lie. He has given that authority back to us. The only reason you may not feel you have it, is Satan constantly lying to you, speaking into your mind lies like, "Your not a good enough christian to do -this or that-". Satans weapon is lies, he is the father of lies. You have a problem lying and guess where that stimulus to lie has been coming from? RIGHT. But the good news is you have the power to shut his mouth; to you and your family. If I were you, I would pray out loud cancelling any assignments by the enemy that have been made to harm you or affect you, or your thinking. I would command all the demonic spirits to go to the foot of the cross in Jesus name. Then I would turn to Jesus and ask him to please stand between you and the past generations. And to accept the generational sin that is coming down from your father or previous generations onto himself, effectively blocking this avenue of sin into your life. With that established, I would daily clear the air, so to speak, of any demonic attack, using the same prayer to cancell assignments. Remember Satan will be busy on "the battlefield" which according to scripture is our minds. So be aware and when you hear any negative mind talk, shut his mouth with the prayers. After a while Satan will tire of dealing with you, because he will realise your on to him. Go get em CHRISTIAN! I am ashamed to say that I have a very bad habit of lying especially when I'm in a tight spot and I know the lie will buy me some extra time but in the end it always blows up in my face but no matter how many times it blows up I always do it again. I recently lost a wonderful wonderful lady that I was in a relationship with for the last 5 going on 6 years because of my constant lying about money and my job. I used to always use the whole "Well I didn't want to hurt you" excuse when we both really knew it was because I don't like conflict and confrontation and every time those 2 subjects came up there was one of 2 ways to handle it.... Face it head on and have the fight right then or lie about it and buy more time in hopes things would blow over and she'd forget or not think of it as a huge deal and trust me option # 2 is only worse when you finally get around to it because now not only do you have the original conflict to deal with you've just thrown the fact you lied about it on top of everythingelse. Now I was raised that lying was wrong but I also watched my dad lie himself out of a lot of things as well. I always told myself I would be nothing like my father but yet here I am almost an exact duplicate of everything he was. I'm not proud that I lie when I'm backed into a corner with no way out and I want to change that but I don't know how. And before someone says "Well Just don't lie" it's not as simple as that. I've grown so accustom to doing it that it almost comes as natural as breathing at times I will lie and not even realize it until afterwards. Kinda like a smoker trying to just go cold turkey it's almost impossible. I will admit that since I lost this lovely lady who I thought was going to be my wife someday it has made me more determined than ever to defeat this part of me that I hate and despise so much and I just would like to ask everyone to please pray for me to be able to do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bestill Posted October 11, 2007 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 51 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/22/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 11, 2007 Your not going to like my suggestion but please consider it. You lie out of habit. There is always some self interest when we lie and it sounds like it's become second nature to you. If your really serious about turning this around...here's my suggestion: -pray and ask God to help you remember every lie you've told -take time and make a list with 3 columns 1) who did you lie to 2) what was the lie 3) what did I gain or what was my motive -when the list is as complete as you can possibily make it (pray through it and don't rush) then contact each person you lied to -contact them in person where ever possible. Otherwise by phone -confess the lies you told them, why you did it and ask for their forgiveness. Admit to them your problem with lying -accept all consequences that your confession may bring. ie: if you've lied to your boss This is a tough and courageous thing to do but your concious will be cleared and you will feel like a new man. Ask Jesus to help you through it and ask for His forgivness as well. Now make a fresh start as a man who is honest in all he says and does to the glory of the One he follows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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