Sexual Addiction

[shanee]

well i don't have much to say....but i think its great that you have asked for help with that problem....most people are quiet about it...and i dont know why...i think the others said some great things...

Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

[Guest]

[Bubba4J]

Praying for you

[dgolvach]

The world is really pushing this stuff these days. TV/Internet?Mall ect.. I took my twelve year olds son to the Houston Rockets game last year on "family night". When the "cherrleaders" came out my wife and I were stunned. We now call them the Houston Rocket "strippers" because what they we wearing was nothing more than Victorias Secret and there cheering wasn't cheering. It was bump and grind.The only thing missing was the pole.. I really resent how the sports world caters to the big business guys in the sky boxes and aren't mindful of the children in the audience, It was a discrace. On top of that, we spend all this money for Yow Ming and T-mac and we still have a cruddy team.

Men are really targeted these days because sex sells and the only way to fight it off is to CLING to God. We were created to be visually stimulated and thats why the Bible preaches modest clothing. Not a burka but at least make the skirt longer than the belt. Cloths are a great thing. Theres nothing wrong with admiring the beauty of a women because they are beautiful. Its when you let the thoughts ride on into lust, now your hurting your soul and giving a sacred part of you over to something other than God and your spouse.

Kris...its doable. Surrender this sacred part of you over to God and let him own it, I tell him everyday that my sexuality belongs strictly to him and my wife. When you feel tempted, turn to God and tell him you love him more than your flesh. This honors him and its a supreme act of love towards him. This is what we were made for. Don't think that God won't reward you. He will with a beautiful bride one day and you will enjoy sex the way God created it to be. It will be much better than a sex life thats empty because God dosen't have control over it. It never ends up being the utopia that Satan and the world would have you believe. Just look at the Hollywood folks. They go through lovers like they go through shoes and most of them end up miserable and empty. Some of them have had them all and are on suicide watch.

I'm praying for you as I pray for my 3 sons because I know its very difficult at times.

Memorize these words that Christ himself said:Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Remember that one of these "things" that Jesus was speaking of is your potential future spouse.

God Bless You

Dan

[Theopolitan]

My first thought was exactly what LacyC said. God made it so men would be attracted to women, and visa versa. But it is what we do with that attraction that matters. Take every thought captive. You know the old saying "Garbage in, garbage out". Put thoughts in your mind that are godly.....be careful what movies you watch, what magazines you read, what conversations you have with your buddies.

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Nathele

This is excellent advice, and in line with Rom 13:14, But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. I would venture further and advise you to turn off the TV and radio, and put the CD's and MP3 players away. Spend at least a month without all the sensual stimualtion and open the Bible. Read stories of great Christians. Get a job that requires you to work with your hands, or volunteer manual labor for the Christian missions in your region. Find another outlet for all this energy you have.

Those who are advising you that this is "just natural," are forgetting that it is the fallen nature, and not at all the way your Father in Heaven desires you to see women.

Bless you for your candor.

Edited January 7, 2008 by Theopolitan

[Smalcald]

Also you can think about the romantic side. Consider that girls have mothers and fathers and eternal souls, and yes I think it is okay to think about how much you like a particular girl for who she is and how happy you may be with her. But that really has nothing to do with lusting after the body of a girl. But yeah you are going to have these feelings at your age most of the men on this board have had them and many still struggle with them. Lust cannot stand the light of day like all sin, so you see you already have set it to flight by talking a little about it here, very good.

Remember that all of those women shown in Sports Illustrated Swim Suite Edition are fakes; they are standing in front of some phony photographer surrounded by men taking that picture with one thing in mind, to sell you products that are advertised in Sports Illustrated. The whole thing is a scam. The same goes for all pornography etc; it is all fake and all about one thing money.

[thunderbyrd]

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

Kris, I am almost 45 and have only recently been able to deal with this problem. I would suggest to you that you MAKE time to spend alone with God everyday. Everything and everyone else gets the back seat. I now know that my lust problem wasn't merely sexual, it was spiritual. Like many other addictions, lust can become a way of trying to fill your soul. Its actually an evidence that you need and intimate relationship with God. God created you with this need with the hope that you would seek him. Tell him everything when you are alone with him. Let him know all of your secrets. Don't hide because he knows it all anyway. Habitual sin will cause you to hide from him and rob you of the joy of your salvation. Don't self condemn. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to condemn yourself or put toxic guilt on yourself. The Holy Spirit will convict you but not condemn you. This is where I got it wrong for all of these years. I thought I had to somehow overcome this problem on my own before I could have a relationship with God. WRONG! Repent means to turn from sin TO God. Not just turn from sin. If you have accepted Christ, you are now spotless as if you have never sinned. Satan will do his level best to con you into thinking otherwise. All he can do is lie to you and tell you that you are not clean enough to have an intimate relationship with God. WRONG? Start today. Quit condemning yourself and don't listen to the lying punk Satan anymore. I didn't overcome my lust problem by being strong enough. I overcame it by finally realizing that I could drink from God's well everyday. He fills my thirsty soul so I have no need to try to feed it with lust.. This is the only way to overcome this. You can't do it alone. God put these desires in you and he intends to satrisfy these desires his way. Give him your sexuality and trust him with it. He will bring someone into your life that he knows will not be a heartbreaker for you and you will have a beautiful intimate sexlife with your WIFE and it will honor and bring you closer to God. TRUST ME!!!! TRUST HIM and you will get the grand prize. Love without shame. Get in touch with how much God loves you and let him fill you up everyday with his love. You will find it much easier to overcome this common problem that guys especially your age struggle with. Don't be decieved by the punk Satan. He actually wants to ruin your sex life by cheapening it into a mere carnal act designed just to feed your flesh.

Tell God everything.

Spend time with the Bible.

Spend time with him.

Let him love you and love him back.

You will overcome this by staying under his wings.

God Bless

Dan

Kris: this post i've quoted has very excellent advice. i want to add that i just recently read and then re-read a book titled "AT THE ALTER OF SEXUAL IDOLATRY" by Steve Gallagher. it deals with exactly the problems you've named. this book really helped me to find how to get victory over this sort of problem. and i commend you, Brother Kris, for going to battle against this problem and seeking victory at your age! i know a whole lot of Christain men who have a problem with covetous lust, but won't acknowledge how much of a problem it actually is and won't even fight against it.

[MeCajunboy]

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

Blessings Kris,

Most of us are all too familiar with you demise. And it's good that you recognize it for what it is and are already making the effort to kick it. We can tell that God is working with and in you at a very young age. And if HE is already I dare say the great man you will become in your life if you can conquere these types of sin now. This is what will show you and others just how strong you can become in God's name. You are pretty much falling into the same patterns that I did and many others, so I will hope to speak for many when I say, this is one of the most comfortable traps that satan catches so many men in and the hardest to steer from , though not impossible! With God, you can do anything!

One thing I began doing at a very young age Kris, is to imagine all these young girls as I did my sisters. This should knock those desires right out of the ballpark. I can't imagine too many young people imagining doing anything with their siblings or sisters in that realm! You know? The remainder, you'll have to place in God's hands and every time you have these impulses, GO TO GOD! And let HIM do HIS wonders. But you were right to bring your testimony foward before this grew into more servere problems like porn, as once you've hit this low, it's difficult to not repeat it, although not impossible. Just remember, anytime you feel trapped into any sin or even something you're not comfortable with.........GO TO GOD and let HIM work in YOU. You may even find that when you come out of these kinds of sins, that God will use you to work with others if HE feels you're stong enough! He as many. I'm convinced that that's one method God uses our past sins because after we have learned control, God can use us through HIM to help so many others!

Prayers Kris

Cajunboy

[Guest God is good!]

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

So how has that been going for you, man? Are things getting any better? I'll pray for you. Also, if you haven't already, I think you need to tell people you know really well in your life, if you've only told people on worthyboards, they don't really see you so they won't know if you are making a change or not. Just what I think you should do in my point of view. I'll pray.

[David of Derby]

I meant to mention this at the time, but never got around to it. There's a difference between being 14 and having hormones and sexual addiction. Sex addiction is a very serious mental disorder related to nymphomania. Seeing an attractive woman and thinking "woah she's hot!" is not sex addiction.

You're 14 years old, you're a mass of hormones and urges. That's perfectly normal. If it really bothers you might try some of the things suggested here but to be honest there's nothing wrong with you. I was a heck of a lot worse at 14, believe me. You'll be fine.