tah Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2008 Ok... I have a questin and I am quite serious as to wanting to know what you do and how you feel about it.. Not a joke... OK? I am an emotionl person.. something I do not like about myself that I find very hard to gain contol over.. There are some families that when you go to a family members funeral everone is stoic.. Stiff upper lip and no emotion except for "quiet respectful grief".. inconspicous comforting.. Then there are funerals when folks cry openly without any sense of wrongdoing by those around.. A lot of open comforting.. It is hard to be at a funeral where you are emotionl and being told to "suck it up" when you are the emotionl one .... and it is equally as hard when you are the "suck it up" one at a funeral where there is open expression grief. What are your thoughts ? How do these two different views come together for a funeral... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biblicist Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 I wish I could cry. I'm not a crier. I'll wait till I'm alone to shed my tears. At my father's funeral I didn't cry, not until I saw my sister-in-law crying. I don't like to see people cry. "No one cries in my presence alone." I will tell you this. A "man" told my mother as she stood crying at her Brother's funeral that if she "had more faith, she would not be crying". Do you think that is true? Is crying such a selfish act that we wouldn't do it if we had more faith in God's Will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackie d Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,081 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/29/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/08/1967 Share Posted February 1, 2008 I wish I could cry. I'm not a crier. I'll wait till I'm alone to shed my tears. At my father's funeral I didn't cry, not until I saw my sister-in-law crying. I don't like to see people cry. "No one cries in my presence alone." I will tell you this. A "man" told my mother as she stood crying at her Brother's funeral that if she "had more faith, she would not be crying". Do you think that is true? Is crying such a selfish act that we wouldn't do it if we had more faith in God's Will? I don't think so Biblicist, Christ wept over Lazarus and tried to escape the crouds when John the Baptist was killed so that He could be alone in His grief. We were made with tears... personally I think that people who tell us to suck it up or that we have little faith to cry about a death or seeing another person cry, are emotionally bankrupt or in fear that if they start crying they may never stop...IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2008 I have only ever been to 5 funerals in my life - and they were all family members (2 grans, 1 grandad, my father and my nephew). By nature, I am very emotional and so it was totally normal for me to be emotional at these funerals. The worse was the funeral of my nephew who died aged 10 months. The coffin was small and white. They sang the hymn 'There's a home for little children, above the bright blue sky'. If I had been able to keep my composure up until then, that song finished me off and the sobbing started. I have always been the emotional one (even as a child) and there was no expectation from myself or other people at these funerals that I would be any different, especially considering the sadness of the situation. I felt no embarrassment over showing my emotions. That was normal - and I believe healthy to do so. It would not have been possible at any of these funerals for me to have had the 'stiff upper lip' and not to have shown my emotions. If other people want to have the stiff upper lip, then that is fine, but for me, the emotions show EVERY time!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty1 Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 160 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/09/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/05/1971 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Shortest verse in the bible. John 11:35 Jesus wept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 827 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 12,101 Content Per Day: 1.50 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 04/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2008 Oh my. I have little patience for those that say to not greive. I rejoice that my mother-in-law is with the Lord, that she is filled with joy and free from earthly pains. But I still miss her company greatly. And I know that my son is much better off where he is now - but my heart cries out for him. The tears shed at funerals (whether visible tears or internal) are for the here and now - for the absence of our loved ones. Mercy Me Homesick You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry Is how long must I wait to be with you I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same Cause I'm still here so far away from home I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now In Christ, there are no goodbye And in Christ, there is no end So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have To see you again To see you again And I close my eyes and I see your face If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow I've never been more homesick than now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted February 1, 2008 I cry, I embrace and try to give comfort to those that cry.........................thats the way God made me! The people that hurt me the most were those who told me not to cry or who even said I should be "over" it by now......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yahsway Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 657 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/20/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/15/1959 Share Posted February 1, 2008 My dear Biblicist, heavens No. Faith has nothing to do with it. God made us as emotional beings, some more than others, its very theraputic to cry. I find those that dont are actually hurting more down deep than others. My daughter recently started to work at the hospital I work at. Im a nurse, she is a cna. I have had so many patients to die on my shift in the last several years. When she saw that I was not crying over the death of one of our patients she said that I was "cold-hearted" and could not understand my reaction. Of course this was her first experience with a dying person and understandablly she cried. I explained to her later that I have protocols to go by, calling the doctor, calling the family, cleaning up the deceased person, notifying the funeral home and the mass paper work also involved. For me. its usually after all of that, that I go off by myself for reflection and weeping. Now when it comes to my family members who have passed away, I cry sometimes so much to the point I cannot stop. But its funny, when my grandmother passed away, I rejoiced. She loved the Lord sooo very much. I know that I know she is with Him! This is how I tend to look at it anymore. There is a time for everything under the heavens. A time to weep and a time to rejoice. Everyone is different in their reactions to a loved one dying. Faith has nothing to do with our reactions to a dying loved one, at least it doesnt mean anything abut us crying or not. If i had been there with your mom, i would probably have been crying along with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kari21 Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 140 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,846 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 10 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/04/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/05/1987 Share Posted February 1, 2008 I don't think anyone has a right to tell you how you should express your emotions at a funeral. If you want to cry, you should cry. If you feel the need to be quiet, then that's fine too. Let everyone show grief in their own way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted February 1, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 827 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 12,101 Content Per Day: 1.50 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 04/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2008 I cry, I embrace and try to give comfort to those that cry.........................thats the way God made me! The people that hurt me the most were those who told me not to cry or who even said I should be "over" it by now......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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