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emotions at funerals


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I tend to think that the way we feel when a loved one dies, and at their funeral is much like they way the Word of God is, many times.

It's not either/or, it's BOTH.

We cry because we miss their persona, we rejoice for those who are in Christ, who will enter His Presence.

It is BOTH feelings. sad and happy

In His Love,

Suzanne

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I am a NZ Maori. The funerals I attend are traditional. The family of the person who has passed away make all the arrangements, not the church. Most families usually have the deceased in their home and then take them to the marae (tribal meeting place building). Others take the deceased from marae to marae and some just prefer to have the person that passed away on the marae for the three days before burial.

I love our funerals. I have been to so many that I have lost count (tribal and family ties). The family get to stay right next to the deceased for the three days. Extended family and friends can as well.

what is NZ Maori? What is Marae?

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what is NZ Maori? What is Marae?

Blessings to you jackie d in Jesus name

A NZ (New Zealand) Maori are the indigenous people. The world know us as Polynesians. Australia have the Aboriginals, America have the Indians etc :emot-hug:

A marae is similar to a reservation. It's a tribal community where we have buildings for specific functions. There are privately owned homes, two bedroom flats for our elderly, a Maori pre-school known as a Kohanga Reo. If you type Marae into Google it may bring up some photo's.

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I have all 4 grands here and I pop in once in a while to see what is being said ..

taking a minute to say you (Bolts) said something that made me think we as Christians should of all people be rejoicing at the one we love going to be with the Father..

But we, or should I say I, do not usually hae that celebratory emotion.. it is hard....

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I remember many years ago at a funeral for a young man who had died very suddenly leaving behind a wife and two toddlers the priest congratulated the corpse ...I found it very strange and not a little upsetting but when I look back now I can hear what he was saying ...that young man had done whatever God had appointed for him to do and had his reward of being called home ...we do not cry for those who know Christ and we are sure we will meet again , we cry for ourselves as we willmiss sharing what is left of our lives with them and in the case of our children we may even be angry as children are not meant to die before the parents ( in our thoughts it is normal for older people to go first )

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what is NZ Maori? What is Marae?

Blessings to you jackie d in Jesus name

A NZ (New Zealand) Maori are the indigenous people. The world know us as Polynesians. Australia have the Aboriginals, America have the Indians etc :emot-hug:

A marae is similar to a reservation. It's a tribal community where we have buildings for specific functions. There are privately owned homes, two bedroom flats for our elderly, a Maori pre-school known as a Kohanga Reo. If you type Marae into Google it may bring up some photo's.

thank you Bolts and blessings to YOU in Jesus name :emot-hug:

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I have all 4 grands here and I pop in once in a while to see what is being said ..

taking a minute to say you (Bolts) said something that made me think we as Christians should of all people be rejoicing at the one we love going to be with the Father..

But we, or should I say I, do not usually hae that celebratory emotion.. it is hard....

Blessings to you tah in Jesus name

Our God in his wisdom created us all differently. You are a beautiful person. I believe that when we submit everything to the Lord (because we trust him), including our emotions, he uses it for the higher good, bringing about his will and purpose. I agree that at God's appointed time, he will take people home to be with him. But the world do not know the Father. The world focus's on

temporal things rather than those things that are eternal.

But God knows where they are at. And he will meet them there through you or through me or through some other devine appointment. I grew up on the Marae. Two to three funerals a week were very normal for me as a child. Now a days when there is a funeral, I go home and am usually seen as the stable and strong one. A person that others can lean on when everything around them seams to be falling apart. For you, it may be that you bring comfort and are an ear for them. Or it may be that you will walk with ppl through their grief. I don't know, but one thing I am certain of is that your prayers are deep, sensitive and wonderful :emot-hug:

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I've only been to 3 funerals. All for people I genuinely loved (as opposed to just knowing). I've felt I had to leave 2 of them because I couldn't control my emotions (crying). I chose to sit in the outer room.

God made us to be emotional so we shouldn't be ashamed of crying. Even though we may know they are saved and will be in heaven with us, their death is still a loss to us.

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Ok...

I have a questin and I am quite serious as to wanting to know what you do and how you feel about it..

Not a joke... OK?

I am an emotional person.. :blink:

something I do not like about myself that I find very hard to gain control over..

There are some families that when you go to a family members funeral everyone is stoic..

Stiff upper lip and no emotion except for "quiet respectful grief".. inconspicuous comforting..

Then there are funerals when folks cry openly without any sense of wrongdoing by those around..

A lot of open comforting..

It is hard to be at a funeral where you are emotionl and being told to "suck it up" when you are the emotional one ....

and it is equally as hard when you are the "suck it up" one at a funeral where there is open expression grief.

What are your thoughts ?

How do these two different views come together for a funeral... :noidea:

Hi, i have been to many funerals, a brother, father, grandmother and grandfathers, friends, in-laws, and acquaintances.

some, i struggled to keep tears back.... some I was rejoicing.... some I was sad, some I was at peace.... some i was so choked up......

when my father passed away, i was saddened, he did not have a relationship with the Lord....

when my grandfather passed away, i was at peace (was 1500 miles away, and woke up at the same time he went home)

when my grandmother passed, i was totally at peace, and was just about to drop off to sleep when the phone rang and I knew that it was for her.

when my brother passed, well, i was lonely, and would tell momma that Banky (Francis/Franky) was crying...

when a friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver on Christmas eve, i cried.... he was a Sr. in Hi school, i was one year behind him.....

when my mother in law passed, I knew where she was, i was mixed, for i was asked to officiate the service, and that was tough, she had a very personal relationship with the Lord, even more now. she knew no stranger, all were welcome in her house.... She really loved everyone..... and now she can love them even deeper..... and no longer has any pain.

just lost a former customer of mine, her husband and a friend, founded a church fellowship, called "The Happy Church" also known as The Fifth Street Mission, House of Prayer..... her service is at 10:00am tomorrow..... she was the last person on the list on the deed.... she truly loves the Lord..... I am going to miss her.... I am happy and yet, i grieve....

there have been times i cried for the loss i had, times i cried because the person did not know Christ, those that knew Christ, I rejoiced, and yet, knew i was going to miss them but yet was at peace. Grandma did not understand why I was smiling and sleeping at Grandpa's service, i was not sleeping, i was remembering things Grandpa and me did together and how much he meant to me..... Grandpa knew the Lord, and proved Christ is both divine and mortal... AT THE SAME TIME..... with mathematics.....

you see, there is no right or wrong way to feel during a funeral, it all depends on the person sitting there, and the person that is is honoring....

I will not officiate a service and try to "Preach" some one into heaven, for it can not be done....

if you need to cry, go right ahead... if you feel like singing, good, do it.... even if it is just in your heart..... give all the Glory to God, Give the Praise to the Lord..... rejoice in all things, through all things, not because of things..... thank the Lord for your loved one(s)..... let them know, while you are hear, and while they are here, how much they mean to you....

blessings....

mike

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I have thought about this a lot and think that perhaps the problem is not entirely with me...

I truly do believe I need more control over my emotions ...but after much thougt..

If I am overly or underly emotional then perhaps those who observe me will just give me the benifit of the doubt that I genuinly loved the one that passed away when my emotions are "quiet".

and that those who observe me will just be patient with my flaws when I am overly emotional until I can come to a place of change ..

That is the conclusion I have come to.. :laugh:

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