what do i do?

[Adoni~Is~Alive~4~Ever]

what do you do when you fall inlove with someone that is 12 years old then you?

Who also is your youth pastor,

And you know its not lust!

but others look at you wierd cause you like a guy 12 years older.

[GymRose]

Hope you don't mind but I looked at your profile to see your age. You'd be 15, right?

You know I honestly believe you can feel love as well as lust at your age, I was in love at your age, but having said that it is a very different type of love I feel now toward Hubby. I was 13 or 14 when I fell in love for the first time and loved this guy who was about 3 years older than me. This love went on for quite some time about 18 months maybe 2 years, my first love. He knew my feelings and so did others but it was not mutual at all, we joked around and carried on as friends but it was all one sided never the less it was love and my first which I will never forget. It was the first time I knew the saying love hurts and how true it is.

I'm not going to be-little you and say at your age this is puppy love and not knowing you or him or the situation it is dificult to answer how do you handle it, which is maybe why it has taken a lil while for someone to respond.

Forget other people and what you think they are looking at you like or thinking of you, no one else has your emotions and feelings and can not guage them for you.

I'm no expert at all but I would like you to answer one question of yourself not here unless you think it may help people with an answer for you. Do you and have you had a stable male influence in your life?

The reason I ask is because sometimes girls who fall for an older guy are looking for a strong leading male figure in their lives "sometimes not always" only you know if that rings a bell or not.

At 15 a 12 year difference is way to great. Personally I would tell you to turn your back on your feelings or speak to an older woman at church who you trust and knows both of you. I have no doubt about what you feel and what you are saying but even 5 years at 15 is a huge gap.

There is nothing wrong with a 12 year gap at say 25 and 37 or something like that.

Just ask yourself are you looking for something in him because of something you lack in your life. Either way at your age this is something that will hurt you if you try to pursue it.

In your case I would say you need to look else where and just think well that is the first time I had the love butterflies.

[cymba22]

Hi....at 15 it is very difficult to know the differance between love and what we brits call puppy love(its not lust)...however saying that...my first hubby was 26 and a half years older than me...and we got on brilliantly...except my familiy never spoke to me again besides my mom and sister...why arn't we together??? he started his own buisness and i was too wrapped up being mom for us to remember to have time with each other...it had nothing to do with age...i was with him 12 years...i've not had a love like it scince....but at 15 my honest advice based on experiance as for a femle youth leader to be under and give yourself some space from him for about 12-18 months....then wait of God...that last bit is real important...and i know your going to sound horrified...but confide in your mom or female carer(whoever you live with)

hope this helps

[Adoni~Is~Alive~4~Ever]

Why would it sound horible?

Does not true love wait?

Wow that is amazing 26 years wow

Btw- lol, i am not gonna date the guy LOL

I cant tell i am 18, so... time can take its path!

The wierd but cool thing is we both love India (he was raised there)

and both feel a call to asia!

Neat!

Thanks for your advice girls!

It was the best yet!

always serving the LORD,

Rhebekka

[Catsmeow]

You think that's something? My husband is 35 years older than me. That's not a joke.

I'm 48 and he's 82, (soon to turn 83).

[Adoni~Is~Alive~4~Ever]

You think that's something? My husband is 35 years older than me. That's not a joke.

I'm 48 and he's 82, (soon to turn 83).

Holy.......wow how old where you when you got married?

wow........ :x: cant speak lol

cant breath either

[GymRose]

Wow Cats. You go girl.

That is a spech relationship.

I have nothing against age gaps, just at 15 things are so different and I think you would agree.

AIA 4 Ever. I'm glad you see it that way with the age thing, I was going to bring that up how in the eyes of the law you are stil a child and this could start trouble for him. But I think you already know that.

Be a teen and have fun girl and if in a few years something happens, so be it. But if not you can still remember that first love and what it was like.

Hey my name is Rebecca, I go by Bec. I always wanted my name spelt like yours, at 10 I wanted to change it legally LOL.

[Adoni~Is~Alive~4~Ever]

LOL *whispers to Rebecca*

LOL I just translated my name into Greek LOL

My name is really Rebecca LOL

heehee!

I am being a careful cookie!

LOL

I know the law is behind me! LOL

But even if it wasnt, I still promised God I would wait till I am married!

And if I cant keep that promise, what promise can I keep?

[Guest rmj7]

Guilty as charged, I had to look at your profile when I first saw the post as well....

......

and I just noticed that this seems to be a female discussion goin on....ugh.... ...he he....hi ladies...:sweating:, gotta go.

Nah. I don't think I can be too much help for ya on this subject. For one main reason, I didn't have that sort of feeling for someone at such a young age.....and another thing is...well, my estrogen level isn't exactly as high as yours, if you know what I mean.

I think the advice you've gotten so far should be benefitting you. But if I can say one thing, Mrs./ or Ms. Gym Rose made a comment that caught my attention. It was about the issue of you maybe having a lack of male influences in your life, and you now have one, and......yep. Anyway. I think I oughtta go. I just feel so pinkish and rosey and all girly girly in this forum. Toodles. :hug: You may continue on with your girl talk.

[Adoni~Is~Alive~4~Ever]

LOL!

I have many male influense!

LOL

But i would love to have yours as well!

That way i have them 24/7 LOL

Thanks for the advice yall!

It was the best i have heard yet!

Rhebekka gives all you :hug: hugs!

lol

:il: God knows my future!