My anger issues

[windwhisperd]

Some of the things I may say in this forum, might rub people the wrong way. For this I am sorry and will apologize ahead of time.

I grew up being abused, starting before I was 1 year old. For example: I was in my walker and crying about something (as all babies do). Instead of finding out what was wrong - my father kicked my walker, with me in it, down the basement stairs.

My mom moved out with my 2 brothers and I. She had to continue going to work, so my brothers and I were always home alone. When ever mom did meet another guy, he was always just as abusive.

My mother has always provided for us and took great care of us. It was just that she had the wrong taste in men. I did a teriffic job at blocking out most of my memories, but most of this stuff has hardened me. My first arrest, by the police, happened when I was 11 and it didn't stop until a few years ago. By the time I was 15 - I was into drugs and alcohol and moved out of my mom's house. If I wasn't stealing things, committing B&E, or partying - I was beating somebody up.

70% of my life, so far, has been angry and ugly.

I then got married and started to abuse her. We divorced after I went to jail for DV. Then I met another woman and abused her too. My anger was so tremendous that I would start to black out. I was never in control when the anger too over. My anger has started to be a seperate entity that I call "The Beast Within" I even wrote a poem about it I will write it if you care to read it - just ask.

Now I am with my fiance, and she has really made some changes in my life. We may argue, but nothing physical. I do still get angry to the point of blacking out, but I manage to push the beast back into his cage.

Now my big problem is that I hate the human race and what they have become.

I will not celebrate Christmas because of what it has become. Commercialism.

"Santa Clause" is not welcome around me (just seeing him makes me mad). Re-arrange the letters and Santa becomes Satan. - What happened to the birth of CHRIST??

Easter is all about a colored egg laying rabbit and candy - I take it for the resurrection of CHRIST!!

The government is major evil and the people have no say.

I could go on and on, but Stephen King would be small compared to my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I have offended in other posts, but my defenses go up and I just tell it like I see it. Please forgive me.

Edited February 25, 2008 by windwhisperd

[OneLight]

Some of the things I may say in this forum, might rub people the wrong way. For this I am sorry and will apologize ahead of time.

I grew up being abused, starting before I was 1 year old. For example: I was in my walker and crying about something (as all babies do). Instead of finding out what was wrong - my father kicked my walker, with me in it, down the basement stairs.

My mom moved out with my 2 brothers and I. She had to continue going to work, so my brothers and I were always home alone. When ever mom did meet another guy, he was always just as abusive.

My mother has always provided for us and took great care of us. It was just that she had the wrong taste in men. I did a teriffic job at blocking out most of my memories, but most of this stuff has hardened me. My first arrest, by the police, happened when I was 11 and it didn't stop until a few years ago. By the time I was 15 - I was into drugs and alcohol and moved out of my mom's house. If I wasn't stealing things, committing B&E, or partying - I was beating somebody up.

70% of my life, so far, has been angry and ugly.

I then got married and started to abuse her. We divorced after I went to jail for DV. Then I met another woman and abused her too. My anger was so tremendous that I would start to black out. I was never in control when the anger too over. My anger has started to be a seperate entity that I call "The Beast Within" I even wrote a poem about it I will write it if you care to read it - just ask.

Now I am with my fiance, and she has really made some changes in my life. We may argue, but nothing physical. I do still get angry to the point of blacking out, but I manage to push the beast back into his cage.

Now my big problem is that I hate the human race and what they have become.

I will not celebrate Christmas because of what it has become. Commercialism.

"Santa Clause" is not welcome around me (just seeing him makes me mad). Re-arrange the letters and Santa becomes Satan. - What happened to the birth of CHRIST??

Easter is all about a colored egg laying rabbit and candy - I take it for the resurrection of CHRIST!!

The government is major evil and the people have no say.

I could go on and on, but Stephen King would be small compared to my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I have offended in other posts, but my defenses go up and I just tell it like I see it. Please forgive me.

I took a lot of courage to admit what you had done. All I can say is that you are now a new person in Christ.

Ephesians 4:20-24

But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness

And enjoy your new life!

Colossians 3:1-17

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

[shanee]

the world is really bad... but God is so good Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Mat 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

Eph 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you

Ecc 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. hope you like the verses

[Joelle]

I too think you're being very courageous and honest for sharing this with us, and I guess nobody will be upset by what you've written here. The story of your childhood is a very sad one indeed, I wish I could find words to comfort you but no word of mine would be enough (but I'm giving you a HUGE hug in my heart!) as the only One who can really do anything for you in the One you already know so well.

You seem to know what is wrong in your heart and you are also aware of the major cause of it, so take it all to God who has the power to change what is humanly unchangeable. I believe God can make miracles happen within your heart, I will keep you in my prayers. Remember that whatever your past you are forgiven and loved.

[Treasure]

Some of the things I may say in this forum, might rub people the wrong way. For this I am sorry and will apologize ahead of time.

I grew up being abused, starting before I was 1 year old. For example: I was in my walker and crying about something (as all babies do). Instead of finding out what was wrong - my father kicked my walker, with me in it, down the basement stairs.

My mom moved out with my 2 brothers and I. She had to continue going to work, so my brothers and I were always home alone. When ever mom did meet another guy, he was always just as abusive.

My mother has always provided for us and took great care of us. It was just that she had the wrong taste in men. I did a teriffic job at blocking out most of my memories, but most of this stuff has hardened me. My first arrest, by the police, happened when I was 11 and it didn't stop until a few years ago. By the time I was 15 - I was into drugs and alcohol and moved out of my mom's house. If I wasn't stealing things, committing B&E, or partying - I was beating somebody up.

70% of my life, so far, has been angry and ugly.

I then got married and started to abuse her. We divorced after I went to jail for DV. Then I met another woman and abused her too. My anger was so tremendous that I would start to black out. I was never in control when the anger too over. My anger has started to be a seperate entity that I call "The Beast Within" I even wrote a poem about it I will write it if you care to read it - just ask.

Now I am with my fiance, and she has really made some changes in my life. We may argue, but nothing physical. I do still get angry to the point of blacking out, but I manage to push the beast back into his cage.

Now my big problem is that I hate the human race and what they have become.

I will not celebrate Christmas because of what it has become. Commercialism.

"Santa Clause" is not welcome around me (just seeing him makes me mad). Re-arrange the letters and Santa becomes Satan. - What happened to the birth of CHRIST??

Easter is all about a colored egg laying rabbit and candy - I take it for the resurrection of CHRIST!!

The government is major evil and the people have no say.

I could go on and on, but Stephen King would be small compared to my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I have offended in other posts, but my defenses go up and I just tell it like I see it. Please forgive me.

God's love to you.

[Guest]

Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

John 15:3-4

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-25

Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

Luke 7:47

[windwhisperd]

Thank You all I read these all with a smile on my face.

[Guest LadyC]

well i guess i just never saw your anger! i saw when you thought people were slamming you but they weren't, and while that may have been a little defensive, i didn't see it as any big deal.

[Afal]

Thank you for sharing this with us.

God bless you

[Guest]

Now my big problem is that I hate the human race and what they have become.

I will not celebrate Christmas because of what it has become. Commercialism.

"Santa Clause" is not welcome around me (just seeing him makes me mad). Re-arrange the letters and Santa becomes Satan. - What happened to the birth of CHRIST??

Easter is all about a colored egg laying rabbit and candy - I take it for the resurrection of CHRIST!!

The government is major evil and the people have no say.

I could go on and on, but Stephen King would be small compared to my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I have offended in other posts, but my defenses go up and I just tell it like I see it. Please forgive me.

Many good verses have already been posted, so I won't.

Just wanted to say that I too get into the hatred for the human race. My background doesn't include physical abuse, but mental abuse was pretty popular around the house when I was a kid. I met Jesus as a homeless drug addict, and while there's still a mess to clean up, I know I'm not alone. You aren't either. Jesus can heal the wounds, but its a process. Keep your eyes on Him, and when you look back you can sometimes see the changes in your life. Sometimes others will point them out.

Don't get too worried about being honest. Honesty about our problems is something that's hard to find much of these days, especially in some churches. Just "call 'em like you see 'em." Sometimes the truth just needs to be spoken, tempered with love.

Praying for you here.