What do I do?

[Hunterpoet]

If this computer is in your home, how do you know it's your dad accessing the sites and not your mom?????

[peaches]

I completely agree with SP's suggestion.

Yeah me too. He will immediately know what it's about and he will then be the one to have to come to you, and not the other way around.

Blessings

Esther

I agree also.

But i think i would also tell my mom what i saw. maybe call her while u are using the computer and show her the history. She will figure out what to do.

[peaches]

If this computer is in your home, how do you know it's your dad accessing the sites and not your mom?????

She said in her OP that her dad is the one who uses that computer quite often.

[Scarletprayers]

I completely agree with SP's suggestion.

Yeah me too. He will immediately know what it's about and he will then be the one to have to come to you, and not the other way around.

Blessings

Esther

I agree also.

But i think i would also tell my mom what i saw. maybe call her while u are using the computer and show her the history. She will figure out what to do.

Well I don't think she should get involved in telling her Mother in any way shape, from of fashion. I also don't think she should discuss this with her Father, the fact that he knows she is aware of whats been going on will convict him more than any words.

[Hunterpoet]

If this computer is in your home, how do you know it's your dad accessing the sites and not your mom?????

She said in her OP that her dad is the one who uses that computer quite often.

Unless he is the only person using it, she is still making an assumption. As long as the computer is accessible to other people in the home you can't say that he is the one going to the web-sites.

Thou shalt not bring false witness against thy neighbor.

[Scarletprayers]

If this computer is in your home, how do you know it's your dad accessing the sites and not your mom?????

She said in her OP that her dad is the one who uses that computer quite often.

Unless he is the only person using it, she is still making an assumption. As long as the computer is accessible to other people in the home you can't say that he is the one going to the web-sites.

Thou shalt not bring false witness against thy neighbor.

Please she is asking for help about a problem with her family, since she said she has watched the times from the history and knows its her Dad, she isn't bringing false wittiness against anybody. And its Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor. Meaning for your own gain, or to cause them harm. It has nothing to do with this, unless she was lying about her Father to cause him problems or harm, or just for the fun of lying.

[OneLight]

She should bring it to her mother, not her father. Bringing up adult sexual context between a father and a daughter is wrong, especially about this form of sin. This is not like it is happening to her and she needs to talk about it. When she had sexual questions in the past, she went to her mother, not her father. She should do the same with this. To hide it from her mother would be the same as keeping it a secret, which may have longer lasting effect then to bring it out in the open and having them dealing with it. The problem is between the mother and father and for her to be stuck in the middle is sad. The responsibility to confront the father is the mothers, not the child's. Too often, kids are drawn into parental problems and more damage is the result, not only in the marriage, but within the whole family, especially the child. Because she is 18 doesn't mean she is automatically an adult and should become involved in these issues. Finding the problem is bad enough. Being forced to handle the issue may cause more damage then we realize.

[Reuben Hick]

Hi Worthy,

I'm Chancer, a used-to-be avid poster on Worthy. I was a young teenager when I used Worthy the most, and I've been meaning to join up with the community again. As glad as I am to be back, I'm saddened by my reason for needing to post currently. I'm an 18-year-old Christian female, and my older brother (who is away at college) and parents are Christians as well. Both of my parents are very involved at my church (as board members, sunday school teachers, etc. etc.), and I've always had great respect for their spiritual maturity. I'm very thankful for this, but at the moment I'm being faced with something that I'm not sure how to handle. My family is very close and I love them very much, but I'm afraid I've stumbled upon something that could put a damper on things.

While looking for a college website (on my parent's computer back in January) I found some links to questionable material. I didn't immediately panic, because I knew that sometimes questionable pop-ups can come up by themselves. I decided to check the computer's history just in case, and I was shocked to find that the previous three weeks of history contained questionable links as well. This is a computer that my father uses quite often, and I knew that he was the one accessing these links. I printed out the computer's history and have continued doing so up till now. I didn't say anything before because I thought maybe it was just a phase or something that conviction would take care of. No questionable links showed up for a few weeks even which had me thinking it was all taken care of. The links have begun showing up again though, so I feel now is the time to act. I'm not sure what to do.

I feel that my mom deserves to know, but I don't like the thought of having to be the bearer of this type of news. If I don't tell, I feel like I'm lying. If I do tell, I feel like I'll be causing problems. I will only be living at home for another year or so because of college, so I won't have to deal with this much longer....which makes it tempting to me to just pretend everything is fine. I can't bring myself to do that though.

Any advice would be very appreciated. God Bless!

Chancer

If you have the guts for the silver bullet question - ask your father how he would react if one of his work buddies forwarded to him a link of explicit photos of you...

The implied question is "is it OK for your buddies and coworkers to see me nude and if it is not, why are you looking at some other father's daughter?"

No father wants to disappoint his daughter. But unless you like family strife, keep others in the family out of it.

[Scarletprayers]

She should bring it to her mother, not her father. Bringing up adult sexual context between a father and a daughter is wrong, especially about this form of sin. This is not like it is happening to her and she needs to talk about it. When she had sexual questions in the past, she went to her mother, not her father. She should do the same with this. To hide it from her mother would be the same as keeping it a secret, which may have longer lasting effect then to bring it out in the open and having them dealing with it. The problem is between the mother and father and for her to be stuck in the middle is sad. The responsibility to confront the father is the mothers, not the child's. Too often, kids are drawn into parental problems and more damage is the result, not only in the marriage, but within the whole family, especially the child. Because she is 18 doesn't mean she is automatically an adult and should become involved in these issues. Finding the problem is bad enough. Being forced to handle the issue may cause more damage then we realize.

I soooooooooooo disagree with this. I talked to my Father about EVERYTHING, this is her Fathers problem and unfortunately now hers. Thats why I'm saying she shouldn't say anything to him. Just give him the print out and walk. What he does with it from there is between him and God. I'm also a firm believer in why hurt someone if you don't have to, why should she be the bearer of bad new to her mother............there is a well known saying that covers it "Don't shoot the messenger" What you are asking her to do is to wonder every time this pops into her head, if her mother blames her for telling her. Which she very possibly could.

[mead]

She should bring it to her mother, not her father. Bringing up adult sexual context between a father and a daughter is wrong, especially about this form of sin. This is not like it is happening to her and she needs to talk about it. When she had sexual questions in the past, she went to her mother, not her father. She should do the same with this. To hide it from her mother would be the same as keeping it a secret, which may have longer lasting effect then to bring it out in the open and having them dealing with it. The problem is between the mother and father and for her to be stuck in the middle is sad. The responsibility to confront the father is the mothers, not the child's. Too often, kids are drawn into parental problems and more damage is the result, not only in the marriage, but within the whole family, especially the child. Because she is 18 doesn't mean she is automatically an adult and should become involved in these issues. Finding the problem is bad enough. Being forced to handle the issue may cause more damage then we realize.

I agree, mother and daugther, if their close, could damage their trust and friendship in a big way if hidden. Pray for the lord to give you wisdom and strength to do what the Spirit puts on your heart.

Edited April 17, 2008 by mead4935