Blessed but hurting

[wallflowr]

First of all I want to say that the Lord has blessed me. Not only has he died to save me from my sins and the death that goes with those sins, but He has blessed me financially, and health wise. Not in any big way but I am at peace and secure. My hurting comes from the fact that He always puts me in situations that I am rejected and that hurts. First of all I can not have children. The Lord has been merciful and never let this hurt me mentally. But I get so tired of always having it brought up and explaining and trying to make others feel comfortable about it. If people would just let it be I'd be ok. Then there is my job. People here are mean and judgemental. If you make a mistake here you are called stupid and that is just the beginning. I get so tired of hearing rude things. At first I thought that the Lord was helping me to learn to love difficult people but I get tired of being crushed. I have talked to the Lord about leaving my job. Three times I have had the message that he wanted me to stay here. I felt the Lord wanted me to talk to my church about my card ministry, which I did. They rejected the idea. At first I thought that I did not explain it very well so I tried again. I was rejected again. Even a simple idea in my marriage, like let's do this or that...REJECTED. I know that God does not reject me. But why does he want me to suffer this here? I don't get how this is love.

Sorry to hear you are hurting I have ran into similar situations in fy life time. If we allow them they can be very devastating. Over the years I learned that we cannot change those around us. We can however change us. I always pray for a person that is neg. in my life. I know God can work miracles. But first I pray for me. I realized one day that it isn't God's desire to see us hurting. I prayed that He change me so I could handle even the worst situations possitvely. Little by little God worked that change in me. As I changed I noticed that others started doing better t me. The same ones that treat me like a jerk saw that I wasn't a push over, nor that I ever returned their negativeness with my own toward them. I stayed calm, quiet, patient and kind. I stayed eating alone at a table I had to myself, and read or I would go sit in the car.

That has ended now. I no longer sit alone and am no longer the receiver of unkindness.

[soshine]

First of all I want to say that the Lord has blessed me. Not only has he died to save me from my sins and the death that goes with those sins, but He has blessed me financially, and health wise. Not in any big way but I am at peace and secure. My hurting comes from the fact that He always puts me in situations that I am rejected and that hurts. First of all I can not have children. The Lord has been merciful and never let this hurt me mentally. But I get so tired of always having it brought up and explaining and trying to make others feel comfortable about it. If people would just let it be I'd be ok. Then there is my job. People here are mean and judgemental. If you make a mistake here you are called stupid and that is just the beginning. I get so tired of hearing rude things. At first I thought that the Lord was helping me to learn to love difficult people but I get tired of being crushed. I have talked to the Lord about leaving my job. Three times I have had the message that he wanted me to stay here. I felt the Lord wanted me to talk to my church about my card ministry, which I did. They rejected the idea. At first I thought that I did not explain it very well so I tried again. I was rejected again. Even a simple idea in my marriage, like let's do this or that...REJECTED. I know that God does not reject me. But why does he want me to suffer this here? I don't get how this is love.

He was despised and rejected of men, a Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief. We want to be identified with Jesus, but we don't want to be rejected. Not possible. Jesus does give you peace in the midst of sorrow. One thing a dear Christian friend prophesied to me, that might help you, is this: "you have got to believe that no matter what- NO MATTER WHAT God will get you through this." If we want to walk with Him in blessing, we must remember, part of that blessing is to take up the fellowship of His sufferings. I must say, I still struggle with this concept. I want people to love me. But they didn't love Jesus, and because I am written in the palms of His nail pierced hands, they won't love me, either. God leads me through this valley of rejection so that, hopefully, this time in the garden of Gesthemene, this time I won't fall asleep when I'm praying with Him. If everyone loves us and treats us fairly, how would we ever learn how to forgive them? There would be nothing to forgive. But real life, of course, never works that way. The pain Jesus endured, the blood He shed, the whipping on His back, the mocking and ridiculing He took, the spitting in His face, the nails, the spear, the gambling for His clothing, and the separation, however briefly, from His Father, that is the price He paid for our redemption. If we want to be identified with the BEST THERE EVER WAS OR WILL BE, we must TAKE UP OUR CROSS, and follow HIM, and HE WILL GIVE US HIS STRENGTH TO GET US THROUGH IT, not around it, but THROUGH it.

I didn't want to build you up for the let-down, that is the devil's game. Only the TRUTH will set us free, and the freedom is the POWER TO FORGIVE WHEN PEOPLE MISTREAT US.

In the True peace of Christ

soshine