hillsong_girl Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 18 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 139 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/18/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2008 I wanted to know your opinions or beliefs about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. 1. Do you think it is immoral/wrong/against the Bible? -If you say yes, what are you reasons for thinking so? -If you say no, what are your reasons for thinking it is right or acceptable? 2. Have you ever moved in with a boyfriend/girlfriend? -If so, did you love them or ever marry them? Were the results overall positive or negative? -If not, have you ever considered making this deicision? Recently a friend of mine from church told me her story about choosing to move in with her boyfriend. I did not belittle her or tell her she was wrong, because she is an adult and can make her own choices and frankly, I personally don't see anything inherently wrong or un-Christian about it. However, one of the Sunday school teachers found out about her decision and barred her from returning to the classroom. My friend was upset because she felt like she had done nothing wrong and that the teacher acted out of undue judgement or hate. I agree with my friend because she and the boyfriend love each other and had support from her family (who is a Christian family), so who am I or anyone else to automatically assume she has made a bad decision? The end of the story is she got married to this boyfriend. Also, I have my own personal story, but I am going to hold off on the details. I just want to know what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xan Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,060 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 18 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/02/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/23/1970 Share Posted August 22, 2008 God is very big on covenents and signs of covenents as being virtually unbreakable. Sex is the sign of a marital covenent, which is why it should not be done outside of that covenent. Living with a boyfriend is not the same as being married to him, and things are done out of order according to God's perfect plan. That being said, and without looking it up right now, in the Tanakh, God lays out His laws for how Israel should act and the consequences for breaking the Law. Pre-marital sex is mentioned, and the consequence is that the man should marry the woman. That's it. No stigmatism beyond that. If he doesn't marry her, then she has been defiled, so he should pay her father the dowry since she was essentially unmarriable from that moment forward. So, even though in our modern times where there is no dowry, and even though many view God's view as antiquated, having that intimate of a covenental sign with someone is still a defilement if no covenent occurs. In the case of your friend, they did get married, so everything has been done, and we should not add to God's holy Law and condemn or ban her. To do so would be to heap judgement on the one doing the judging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthitjah Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 1,285 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 17,917 Content Per Day: 2.27 Reputation: 355 Days Won: 19 Joined: 10/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2008 Grace to you, I understand, as it is written, that the Leader tossed the young lady out while she was living with this fellow, not after the Marriage. Scripture speaks about this; 1Th Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.22 Reputation: 9,763 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2008 The intension may be good, but what will living together appear to be to others? The carnal mind will have a field day with this one. We are not to be a stumbling block to anyone. We are to be wise. As Dave said, abstain from all appearance of evil. In His Love, OneLight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 John 4 16 Jesus said to her, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat8585 Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 1,360 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 7,866 Content Per Day: 1.23 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/18/1946 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I agree. It would be wrong because sex before marriage is wrong. Even if it were platonic, it would look wrong. It would be assumed there was sex. I lived with a boyfriend 30 years ago before I came back to the Lord. He cheated on me, there were other problems, and it's a good thing we didn't marry, even tho I thought I was madly in love with him and desperately wanted to marry him, because we would have been divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chou Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 24 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 104 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/24/1987 Share Posted August 22, 2008 (edited) I feel as if I should add my own story to this... I met my girlfriend when I had no home. I was living place-to-place, couch-to-couch, coworker-to-coworker for several months. I met Lori during one of my "Can I borrow your couch for a few nights?" Weeks. I had called up a friend to see if I could have a place to sleep and she said sure. Well, it turned out to be student housing for a local university. 2 bedrooms, 4 girls. Pretty standard, really. There was no sexual tension, I was just a friend who was down on his luck. Well, Lori was one of the students living there. We hit it off well and went to dinner and dancing a few nights. Long story, short. Through random acts of severe immaturity on the part of the other 3 girls, Lori and I were forced to move in together. It turned out to be mutually beneficial for everyone involved. Lori was away from psychotic roommates I had a place to live Her mom (who was paying the student housing, then our rent as I payed the bills) was paying less for us to live I had all my stuff back All my friends suddenly had spare closet space after they gave me my things back, haha! We've been living together for almost 2 years now and we couldn't be happier. We're planning our wedding for around this time next year In short: Lori saved my life. I would have died on the streets if she hadn't come to my aid... Sometimes I think God will give us things in odd ways. It will make us believe that we are going against God when we are actually going exactly along with his plan for us. Edited August 22, 2008 by Chou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simpleword Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 21 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2008 That is a simple answer,why it is questioned is strange, Hebrews 13:4,Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. anything else is sin. If you say that you are not sleeping together,you are still causing problems,by causing confussion,the bible also says, 1 Thessalonians 5:22,Abstain from all appearance of evil. The devil is the author of confusion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Press Forward Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 186 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 22, 2008 I wanted to know your opinions or beliefs about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. 1. Do you think it is immoral/wrong/against the Bible? -If you say yes, what are you reasons for thinking so? -If you say no, what are your reasons for thinking it is right or acceptable? 2. Have you ever moved in with a boyfriend/girlfriend? -If so, did you love them or ever marry them? Were the results overall positive or negative? -If not, have you ever considered making this deicision? 1. Yes. When I was reborn and sealed and delivered by Jesus Christ, the first thing I had to do was get married or leave the woman I was living with. And I was ready to leave when God said Marry her and make her your wife. The best decision that I never had to make. Almighty God sancified our lives and our marriage. 2. Yes. Yes. Negative because God was not a part of our lives and the enemy destroyed what pitiful, shameful lives we had. No. I will never leave my wife and will never live with another woman because I know hell is real and Almighty God is real and people who make bad decisions will not see the kingdom of Heaven. I'm surprised to see this post in the inner court....this seems like a question from the world and people who don't know Our Lord Jesus Christ. For years I believed that grace was license to sin and never face consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smalcald Posted August 22, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5,258 Content Per Day: 0.76 Reputation: 42 Days Won: 3 Joined: 06/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/22/1960 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I wanted to know your opinions or beliefs about living with a boyfriend/girlfriend. 1. Do you think it is immoral/wrong/against the Bible? -If you say yes, what are you reasons for thinking so? -If you say no, what are your reasons for thinking it is right or acceptable? 2. Have you ever moved in with a boyfriend/girlfriend? -If so, did you love them or ever marry them? Were the results overall positive or negative? -If not, have you ever considered making this deicision? Recently a friend of mine from church told me her story about choosing to move in with her boyfriend. I did not belittle her or tell her she was wrong, because she is an adult and can make her own choices and frankly, I personally don't see anything inherently wrong or un-Christian about it. However, one of the Sunday school teachers found out about her decision and barred her from returning to the classroom. My friend was upset because she felt like she had done nothing wrong and that the teacher acted out of undue judgement or hate. I agree with my friend because she and the boyfriend love each other and had support from her family (who is a Christian family), so who am I or anyone else to automatically assume she has made a bad decision? The end of the story is she got married to this boyfriend. Also, I have my own personal story, but I am going to hold off on the details. I just want to know what you think. 1) Any sexual relationship prior to marriage is sin and fornication, and a big problem if there is a lack of repentance involved. In addition one should not live as married if you are not married, even platonically. 2) People who live together prior to marriage have higher divorce rates than those who do not. It is a bad way to prepare for marriage; it hurts your future marriage. 3) Why do it? If you love someone you would indeed be willing to at least go through a 15 minute marriage ceremony and tie the knot, if you are not willing to do that, then one of the parties is unsure of the relationship, is not in it for the long haul and basically want to keep their options open. 4) I thought about living with my first girlfriend who I am now married to, we almost did then decided to wait, it was the best decision we ever made. 5) I realize that it is common and we must approach people about this in a non-judgmental factual loving way. I think if we simply present the facts about how all research has shown that it hurts future marriages, that you cannot pretend to be married, it is either one way or the other, and of course God's Word that it is indeed sin. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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