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What would you do???

browneyedgirl2
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browneyedgirl2

browneyedgirl2

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There is a girl that I know, and at one time we were good friends.... I shared a lot of confidential things with her that I shared with no one else...THEN a problem came up between me and someone that I care for very much, and I found that she was the cause of it ALL...... Ok, I forgave her and tried to get back the closeness that we had shared, and she stabbed me in the back again... OK.... I forgave her again, but...I was much more cautious about my dealings with her.... She has tried to stir up trouble with me several other times, but I won't argue with her and as I told her, I forgive her for the PAST, but let it stay there....She is very immature and she blames everyone for everything but herself... She has contacted me and wants to be my "friend" on MySpace... I don't really want that, as I don't really consider her a "friend" but at the same time I don't like to hurt anyone.... What would you do in a situation like this????? I feel that she is working me to get in good with someone else.... She has hurt others and they've forgiven her also, but now she's trying to worm her way back into their lives... I feel like she thinks if she can be friends with me, that the others will come around.... THEY WON'T... or so they say.... I don't know what to do...

Roc

Roc

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There is a girl that I know, and at one time we were good friends.... I shared a lot of confidential things with her that I shared with no one else...THEN a problem came up between me and someone that I care for very much, and I found that she was the cause of it ALL...... Ok, I forgave her and tried to get back the closeness that we had shared, and she stabbed me in the back again... OK.... I forgave her again, but...I was much more cautious about my dealings with her.... She has tried to stir up trouble with me several other times, but I won't argue with her and as I told her, I forgive her for the PAST, but let it stay there....She is very immature and she blames everyone for everything but herself... She has contacted me and wants to be my "friend" on MySpace... I don't really want that, as I don't really consider her a "friend" but at the same time I don't like to hurt anyone.... What would you do in a situation like this????? I feel that she is working me to get in good with someone else.... She has hurt others and they've forgiven her also, but now she's trying to worm her way back into their lives... I feel like she thinks if she can be friends with me, that the others will come around.... THEY WON'T... or so they say.... I don't know what to do...

Hey there, browneyedgirl2. Last week in church the pastor had a great sermon on forgivness, he said something that has stuck with me all week, he said "forgivness is free but trust is earned" I would explain your doubts and concerns with her and let her know that you may not be ready to trust her yet, that has to be earned. I guess it all comes down to how much you value her friendship. You can forgive her and choose not to remain a close friend of her's, her actions create consiquences (i can't spell lol) one of them being no one to trust her, you should not feel guilty for that. I don't know if i helped at all but i gave it a shot. Good luck, and God bless,,,, may the Peace of Christ be with you....

browneyedgirl2

browneyedgirl2

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You know, that is actually some really good advice.... I don't trust her, no further than I can see her and we live about 300 miles apart..lol So thank you for telling me that... God bless YOU too... :noidea:

Leonard

Leonard

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Two wise addages come to mind:

1. "Once burned is twice-warned!"

2. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on ME!"

You can be 'friendly' with this person, cordial, if you please, but it would be foolish to be a 'friend' on intimate terms with her again, don't you think?

Guest mytwosons

Guest mytwosons

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Posted (edited)

Hello, browneyedgirl2, in your post you said that at one time you were good friends with this girl and then it spiraled downward. I understand that because of her actions, you would just rather let her go, but you may consider a little work to try and get her restored to that girl that you really liked to be with. You may sit down with her and share what you've witnessed about her behavior and then say that you know it's not the same behavior she had when you first met and what went wrong? There may be something that happened in her life (recently or came up from her past) that is really bothering her and she doesn't know how to deal with it and she is acting out in regards to it. Another option may be to have a third person there that she respects and is familiar with what's going on, so they can lend credibility to the situation. If everything goes well, you could help her change her life for the better and have an even better relationship then you all started with!...Grace and peace be with you.

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browneyedgirl2

browneyedgirl2

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Hello, browneyedgirl2, in your post you said that at one time you were good friends with this girl and then it spiraled downward. I understand that because of her actions, you would just rather let her go, but you may consider a little work to try and get her restored to that girl that you really liked to be with. You may sit down with her and share what you've witnessed about her behavior and then say that you know it's not the same behavior she had when you first met and what went wrong? There may be something that happened in her life (recently or came up from her past) that is really bothering her and she doesn't know how to deal with it and she is acting out in regards to it. Another option may be to have a third person there that she respects and is familiar with what's going on, so they can lend credibility to the situation. If everything goes well, you could help her change her life for the better and have an even better relationship then you all started with!...Grace and peace be with you.

This is what I attempted to do the second time around.... I have really tried to be a friend to her, as well as others have tried.... One thing that I didn't include, is that the Man that I love very dearly--she was also crazy about.... She tried to get close to me---in order to get close to him... That's why she spilled her guts to him about all that I had told her.... Trying to discredit me, and lift herself up in his eyes... Unfortunately, it didn't work, and he and I worked through our situation and remain close... he can't stand her today, even the mention of her name sets him off.... She did things to him and his family too... It's not just us... I just need to really pray about this...

Bubba4J

Bubba4J

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:th_praying:
stacey c

stacey c

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Posted

There are times for christians to be lambs, and other times to be lions. We are to live peaceably with all if possible, but God did not mean for us to be door mats to be walked all over and abused. I HAD a friend who did the same thing. I won't go into detail of all the horrible things she had done to me and mine, but it did start when I met my new husband and she thought I shouldn't be with him, because she didn't approve. So after she did some horrible things I quite speaking to her for about a yr. and a half. Then I decided to bury the hatchet any try again to be her friend. It lasted all of two months then she started again. Well that was the last time, God did not call me to be a push over. BTW she is a supposed professing christian. I say supposed because you know them by their fruits.

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