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About Ella

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  1. I think i need prayer sorry for posting in the wrong place
  2. my psych says its not demons but i think it is i went to other faiths when i stopped being catholic went to Wicca , Islam , Hindu etc i am christian now i was baptised as a baby but not in a born again sense i go to an gay church my husband goes there and i have friends there but there is another church i can go to but i must go to the other church on at 6.30 pm Sunday the gay church is on at 11 am church my husband said av got to go to the LGBT CHURCH if i want to go to the other church
  3. Voices telling me i must join Islam shouting over and over its demons ,spirits, monsters someone is messing with my head nearly lost all my friends my husband everything my fault because am evil and need to die
  4. i wouldn't test them if i was you could give you a nasty time of it and you will be sorry ,only spirit i am interested in is the holy spirit
  5. thank you all for your replies on Friday i took An od am home and am ok my husband says i can go to the church in town that i could feel Jesus there the church has women's groups and i can hang out there for a while i made a promise id never od again as i have things to live for one think i am living for and that is JESUS i will not longer hurt myself in anyway eg. self harm and eating disorder etc JESUS LORD HELP ME I AM A SINNER BUT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME ALWAYS
  6. I don't like the thought of eating Jesus's body or blood like you said it's in rembering Jesus not eating him I think you are right ...i will not go to the Catholic church at all
  7. Thank you for the videos , things have been hard I feel that I must go to the Catholic church I feel that it's right for me to be there The virgin Mary is someone who I see has Holy she is someone I look up to I want to go to the Catholic church for me it's right I don't agree that the Catholic church looks over the saints for the virgin Mary the saints are celebrated by the Catholic church I have very limited knowledge of the bible but I believe it's right for me My husband is my carer he with me 24/7 everyday as I can't go out on my own due to my mental health he never gets a break we are trying to get a support worker at the moment but we may have pay and we can't afford it as we get government benifts to live on as we can't work we go to mental health drop ins but my husband is still there looking after me things get hard and sometimes we fight but we are like any other couple I don't think he is abustive or would harm me psycally am safe
  8. i want to be saved i want to not sin and be honset i want love i want jesus's love , i have so many questions i dont know a lot about the bible and i really need to read the bible i am alone so very alone even though am with my husband i find it so hard to open up about thing Jesus knows me and i even lie to myself i hate what i have become an attention seeker i want love so much unconditional love
  9. Am sinning here even now why cant i be honest with you all i think am going to hell i have to be honest with you all i want to go to heaven but i feel am such a sinner i will not get there in truth am scared to be honest yes my husband is the way he is with because i though it was what i wanted i no longer can do that i can now no longer live as a man i want to be a women but am scared he will leave me and take all my friends with him i lied before my life is good but i crave attention from people and i make things up i know i am going to hell what i put on the post about me being abused is a lie my mother is a toxic women maybe i am toxic too i have nothing to do with her or my family i need help i self harm and i want attention i feel child like most of the time and WANT LOVE I AM SO SORRY I LIED PLEASE FORGIVE ME
  10. i want to be away from sin i want Jesus in my life i want to learn about him i need to read the bible and i need to stop sinning i was brought up as a catholic i was abused by my mother and a friend of her's who was a priest it happened from a very young age my mum married by step dad and when he was around i was safe but he worked nights he wasnt there when the abuse was going on he never knew i started self harming to deal with the abuse been doing it ever since i not longer have anything to do with my mother or the rest of my family most of my friends are lgbt i dont know anyone i can turn to for help my husband is my carer and looking after me is hard for him he started to be the way he is because of me i make him crazy just like i made my mum and the priest abuse me i blame me for everything and i have a lot of hate for myself ....i have no friends in rl that arent my husbands friends or lgbt i am alone ( am not alone now i have found Jesus ) i cant look after myself on top of the self harm i also have taken overdoes before my husband has to lock the medication away so i dont take it all i hurt myself everyday i am stopping that now i want to learn about Jesus and God a have very limited in how much i know ( mainly childrens bible storyss ) i want to learn now i want to know more about Jesus and try not to sin
  11. please Jesus help me ... i feel like am pulled between Jesus and my husband i love my husband i feel am going to end up on my own no friends no one to support me ... i'll be on my own but i'll be in heaven i go with Jesus
  12. i have told my husband am Non Binary mean am both male and female ( i will dress unisex) go to the catholic church twice a month on a Sunday and go to the liberal church twice a month and the Saturday before the Sunday i go to the liberal church i will go to the vigil mass i t mean i'll have no ops and remain psychically female
  13. there was at one point where i lived as male ( with a unisex name) i changed my female name to a unisex name but i have OCD and voices telling me to do things i have alot of mental health issues am very child like ( or teen like ) am 42 but i behave like a teen i follow anyone that has time for me ...i dont really want to be male i just want friends the reason i want to go to the catholic church is my family are catholic i want to learn more about the catholic church and i want to go to heaven if i am male i'll go to hell the voices tell me what to do one ( good one ) i think is God telling me to go back to the catholic church and all the others ( demons ) want me to be male i am sorry i sound like a child thats whats going on
  14. thank you all for replying to me the problem is i want to go to a catholic church and live as female ( my birth gender ) but my husband wants me to go to the liberal church the minster of the liberal church and my husband wants me to dress male and get surgery and be male i dont want to my husband is saying am mentally ill and i have to go to the liberal church am forced to go there
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