Rhonda Lou

I don't know anything about the author, and I have not read any other threads about this -- all I know is what is in the book. I loved it. I could not find anything really theologically wrong with the book itself, it brought me closer to God as well. It was refreshing to read somebody who believes we are to depend on and abide in God, who loves us and is willing to do anything for that love. I love the description of the Holy Spirit -- the Asian woman was just the form He took -- but the seeing and not really seeing, the ethereal quality, etc, I thought was wonderful. I loved Jesus described as fully God and fully man. I loved the fact that what God wants most is relationship, total communion/communication, and for us to depend on Him. Those concepts were explained in simple enough terms that were easily understood. I read here that the author does not believe in the substitutionary death of Jesus, but I did not get a sense of that in the book. God and Jesus spoke of how He suffered on earth, yet was willing for the sake of love. God was pleased with His Son because of that. I've also heard complaints of universalism in the book, but Jesus said that many WERE called from other paths, which lead nowhere into Christianity. So, once again, I loved the book. I have to admit that I, too, found the book strangely compelling. And I'm a dyed-in-the-wool, protestant, doctrinal purist! Sure, some of it comes as a shock - but that's the purpose. And the shock element is not there just for the sake of it, but for a real purpose that I have to allow is honest and resaonable and, even more importantly, illuminating. The shock is designed to get any armchair Christians or misinformed God-observers really thinking. And, I believe, in that it succeeds. As long as one allows that it is fiction, I don't see why it shouldn't be treated in the same vein as other works of fiction in the Christian lexicon - Pilgrim's Progress, for instance. I had a quick read through the earlier thread about this book and have to agree with Eric H's comments. Interestingly enough, my 80 yr old mother who is very evangelical C of E and a doctrinal purist, also found the book compelling and bought several copies for non-Christian friends. I think that the one thing it addresses most successfully is why there is pain and suffering in this world and why a good God allows same. It is an area that Christians often find difficult to give satisfactory answers to, especially to those that are in the midst of suffering personal tragedy; but somehow, this book addresses it. I'd recommend it as a book to give seekers, especially those who are going through personal suffering or tragedy.. But be sure to be around afterwards to lead any unbeliever who is touched by the book but is unversed in Scripture, to the Lord Jesus. It's not a "give and go" book so much as an introduction to a compassionate God for those who are experiencing tragedy and suffering. At least, that's how I received it. I agree with this completely, and also what Eric H said. Doctrine should be based on, and explained, exclusively from the Bible. It is the inspired source. I do not believe there is anything in the book which disagrees with Biblical doctrine, but doctrine should be explained with Scriptures, and never with a fictional book. However, after making that stipulation with seekers, I would recommend it as a bridge to Scriptures, just as you say. If it got theology wrong, I would never offer it so as not to confuse, this way I would -- but only as a beginning point. God's word does not return void. William Young's word is NOT God's word, so it is merely a starting place.

I don't know anything about the author, and I have not read any other threads about this -- all I know is what is in the book. I loved it. I could not find anything really theologically wrong with the book itself, it brought me closer to God as well. It was refreshing to read somebody who believes we are to depend on and abide in God, who loves us and is willing to do anything for that love. I love the description of the Holy Spirit -- the Asian woman was just the form He took -- but the seeing and not really seeing, the ethereal quality, etc, I thought was wonderful. I loved Jesus described as fully God and fully man. I loved the fact that what God wants most is relationship, total communion/communication, and for us to depend on Him. Those concepts were explained in simple enough terms that were easily understood. I read here that the author does not believe in the substitutionary death of Jesus, but I did not get a sense of that in the book. God and Jesus spoke of how He suffered on earth, yet was willing for the sake of love. God was pleased with His Son because of that. I've also heard complaints of universalism in the book, but Jesus said that many WERE called from other paths, which lead nowhere into Christianity. So, once again, I loved the book.

Thank you for pointing that out. That is the reason it always bugs me -- people say it as though it is IN the Bible, when it is NOT IN the Bible. I guess it just bugs me so much -- I thought I SAID it -- I sure was THINKING it. Thanks for clarifying!!

This is a misquote of Gen 50:20 where Joseph said to his brothers But this is even further clarified five chapters earlier in Gen 45 where Joseph says to his brothers about their treatment of him - vs 5 - God sent me before you to preserve life vs 7 - God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you vs 8 - So it was not you who sent me here, but God Then there are the "partial quotes" - usually of convenience. Some that really bother me are: James 4:7 - Resist the devil and he will flee from you Rev 12:11 - And they overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony Phil 3:10 - That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection 1 Cor 2:9 - Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has entered into the mind of man what God has prepared for those who love him What is wrong with those quotes? They are incomplete! Submit to God, Resist the devil and he will flee from you. And they overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony and they did not love their lives to the end [other translations say - and they did not love their life even when faced with death) That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has entered into the mind of man what God has prepared for those who love him (10) but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. So why do we do that? Why do we have mythical stories about three wise men visiting a newly born baby Jesus, and distorted stories about Peter being restored three times by Jesus, and misquoted and incomplete scriptures that typically leave out the inconvenient parts? This really bothers me. So now that I have vented somewhat, is it not really a big deal? Is it okay to be sloppy with scripture and is it just my problem that it bothers me ... ? Are there similar examples that bother you ... ? ~clay This is slightly off the subject of Peter, the love of money, or Joseph's statement that God meant good out of the evil, and add another one of those like "cleanliness is next to godliness." Something that has always bothered me is, "God helps those who help themselves." Actually the whole point of the Bible is that we CAN'T help ourselves, and God would like us to depend on Him. Actually, God helps those the most who cooperate and are obedient through the power of the Holy Spirit, but He does not help those who help themselves. The aspect which bothers me the most and is related to this topic is that of Biblical illiteracy, even among Christians. I had one Christian tell me that the Bible contradicts itself because it says in one place, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," and in another place, "Turn the other cheek." I had to let her know that it says both in the same sentence: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth;' but I say unto you, 'That ye resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also.'" (Matthew 5:38-39) Her reply was, "Well, you know the Bible better than I do." Then why did she even say anything? I think that this answers your other question: why do people say this stuff? It is because they hear it from others, don't check it out, and take it at face value. There was also the Sunday school student who asked, after they showed "The Flood" on TV, why God burned down the planet before the flood? We went to the Scripture, and I asked her to show me where that happened. Yes, I believe you have a valid point, and it irks me also.

I'd say Philippians. I love Chapter 2:5-11, about having the same mind as Jesus who gave up His rights as God to become human and die for me. I love Chapter 3:8-14, where Paul talks about the fact that everything is rubbish compared to knowing Jesus, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. I love Chapter 4, where we are told to be anxious for nothing, but pray for everything with thanksgiving, that God meets all of our needs, and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I'd follow that closely with 2 Corinthians 3-5, where it speaks of our transformation by the Spirit, God shining in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ, that we are bondservants to others, and all things are for their sakes, so that grace, having spread through the many may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God, and that we are all new creatures in Christ Jesus, ending with that glorious passage "For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21) i needed those verses for encouragement. thank you You're welcome. I'm glad that God spoke to you when you needed to hear Him.

I'd say Philippians. I love Chapter 2:5-11, about having the same mind as Jesus who gave up His rights as God to become human and die for me. I love Chapter 3:8-14, where Paul talks about the fact that everything is rubbish compared to knowing Jesus, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. I love Chapter 4, where we are told to be anxious for nothing, but pray for everything with thanksgiving, that God meets all of our needs, and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I'd follow that closely with 2 Corinthians 3-5, where it speaks of our transformation by the Spirit, God shining in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ, that we are bondservants to others, and all things are for their sakes, so that grace, having spread through the many may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God, and that we are all new creatures in Christ Jesus, ending with that glorious passage "For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I hope the irony in that statement is intentional..... If logic was the only thing that had ever been used and the world was still in such a mess, then you would have a valid question. Maybe if logic was all that had ever been used then the world wouldn't be in such a mess. Let me ask you a similar question, if God is of infinite power and goodness then surely even the smallest measure would be enough to stop this finite world becoming such a mess. The fact that it is a mess would indicate that God is either not infinite in power and goodness or that there is not even the smallest measure of His involvement in the world. I have been reading this thread for several days, and am reassured once again that often times trying to prove God with logic, or with faith, is impossible for people with different world views. We are called to be witnesses of what we have seen and know to be the truth in our lives. That is all we are called to do. God does the rest. I've wanted to try to defend my faith logically as I've read the people here who have done so, quite remarkably well, but I have noticed that the more we try to convince others our way is correct, the more they (or at least the ones writing here) are convinced that their way is correct, and this just pushes them farther from God and entrenches them further in their own beliefs. So, I am just going to be a witness to what I've seen in my life. I am not goting to defend it, or ask you to believe it, but the point of being a witness for God is just to state what I have seen. There is both good and evil in the world. I know these concepts are not always believed since people have different STANDARDS for good and evil, but basically, everybody admits that there is good and evil, no matter how they define it. I've noticed in my own life that I can do good things without BEING good. I can help others for their praise, for an insurance policy to get to heaven, out of duty and respect, without actually doing it out of love. I have noticed in myself that if somebody tells me to do one thing, I want to do the exact opposite. It is always my first reaction. Always. I have noticed that I want to control my own destiny, and the idea of having another control it is absolutely abhorrent to me. I have noticed that if all people everywhere feel the same way that I do, and give in to this rebellion, control-freakedness, and lack of love, they then become at odds with others who have different "destinies" then the do, and do the opposite of what anybody tells them, and do not love others more than they love themselves. I have noticed that this causes chaos and leads to wars. I have noticed that left to our own devices, this condition continues unchecked. In the Age of Enlightenment, when people began trusting themselves to themselves, there has been more murder, wars, and antagonism than ever before -- nor do I see any improvement over the human condition than there has ever been. People have always just been doing the same thing. Things seem to have degenerated even further by calling things which used to be considered "bad", "good", almost as if our solution to the problem is avoiding the problem by calling it something else these days. But, that is in the general world. As a witness speaking to what I have seen, it was my biggest desire to do something about my lack of love, and futile attempts to love others unconditionally for no other reason than I loved them. Doing good things for them didn't help, because my motivation was not always good. At times it was, but how could I be consistent in BEING good? How could I change? Actions DO speak louder than words, but I wanted the actions to come from a heart of pure love -- I wanted to BE what I was professing to be!! I found the answer in transformation by Jesus. I've read here that other religions bring about change -- but not to the heart, only to actions. In order to be good, something outside of myself would need to be involved -- and not other people, because they were in the same boat as myself. They could not always "BE" good, and they could never transfer their goodness to me, even if they wanted to. This could only come from God. Yes, I believed in God. I look at the human body and creation, and cannot fathom them working so much in concert with all of their parts on their own without a maker -- it would be too much of a coincidence otherwise. Even if the visible parts, or atoms could come together, made of the chemicals, and materials around, I have never heard convincing proof that these elements came together to form thought, feelings or personality. And, as I've stated earlier, everybody has a concept of good and evil, no matter how it is defined. Who thought of it, and why should I listen to that person (I want things done MY way after all!) The mediator must be somebody outside of myself or my "kind." After looking elsewhere, I looked at the Bible. There are some pretty literal prophecies in the Bible, which have been fulfilled, and convince me that it is telling the truth. Science has been proven correct in the Bible. Isaiah 40:22 says that God sits above the circle of the earth -- something it took man CENTURES after this was written to find out. But what convinced me most of all was that the Bible clearly defines man as being rebellious, and sinful -- incapable of loving from a pure heart. Genesis 8:21 says that "people's thoughts and actions are bent toward evil from childhood." This described me. By this point, my biggest question was what I was supposed to do about it. The Bible said that God loved me so much that He sent Jesus. Now, the existence of Jesus can be proved from even secular sources. External evidence

Two hands working accomplish more than a hundred clasped in prayer. Sure you might get a splinter every now and then but I'd prefer a physical roof to a spiritual one when it starts raining. Negative Cool, I'm still praing for you and others I've read about on Worthy Boards by "name". I just want you to know that those who write on Worthy Boards who say they are praying are not just praying -- they are writing on Worthy Boards trying to spread the truth as they see it. However, we realize that there is a power beyond anything we can achieve on our own. We DO work, doing what we can, and trust the results to the One who is more powerful than we are. I liked what Murse32 said -- it is not that we do not understand where you are coming from -- we've all been there, it is just that we've found Someone better, and we long to tell you about it. It is hard to go back once we've found God, but, oh, how we wish you would join us "on the other side of the river." Personally, I wish that everybody on that other side of the river -- the side where God lies -- would remember their roots and not frown on those who haven't crossed yet but simply try to love them to our side. When we operate in God's power, that's what happens. Our weak flesh often fails us, but the goal is to let others know what is on the side of God and offer to help them accross. And we work hard to achieve that goal, though we pray for God's power and ability to affect the change. We can't do it, but He can. We are, however, His arms, legs, eyes and ears in the world, and He does His work through us, His instruments. But it is HIS power and HIS works. Galatians 2:20 says that we are crucified with Him nevertheless we live, yet not we, but Him through us. A Christian does not mind God's life through us because our goals are His goals, and we've seen what He can do. Jesus loves you, even when you don't love Him, and He died to pay the penalty for your sinful nature. He lives to break the bondage of the sinful nature in your life. He longs for you to know Him. He longs for you to step beyond conventional wisdom and search for truth. So many people use God's word (the Bible) to confirm their own points of view, or to try to dissect the Bible and prove it wrong -- how many ever try to see if what it says might actually be true -- test it and try it out -- see if it works in their own lives? It hurts me when God is hurt -- but I remember how much I hurt Him myself before I tested the Scriptures and found them to be true. Now, I'm not turning back. I'll work hard to try and tell others about Him, but I will also pray for His power and leave results with Him.

Very... very... well said riel! I wouldn't want this thread to go in another direction but I would have to ask for your interpretation on something. First off, considering all that you said about becoming intimately close to the Father through faith, resulting from deeper knowledge of him through his word, what would be your interpretation for, what I call, a key word "OF" in Galatians 2:20 from the King James Version? 20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith OF the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. [Gal 2:20] Considering the King James use of the word when Paul said that he lived by the faith OF the Son of God do you, or anyone else, believe that we can get to a place in our walk where it is Christ within that takes over and lives out his life, as he lived on earth, through our mortal bodies? What I mean is, can we become so "possessed" by Christ, so filled with HIM, that it becomes HIS eyes that we see through... HIS mind that we think with... HIS heart that we love with and lastly... HIS faith we operate in and express? I know many other translations use the word "IN" instead of the word "OF". Faith "IN" the Son of God instead of Faith "OF" the Son of God. I haven't done any study for the word "OF" in the original Greek but I have sometimes wondered if we can walk in such closeness with the Lord that it becomes Christ's actual faith expressing itself through HIS love for all those we come into contact with? Im sure that it is more universally interpreted to mean we live by OUR faith IN the Son of God instead of we living our lives BY the faith OF the Son of God. It would seem that if the word IN is more appropriate here I have a large role to play in developing this faith. I'm not trying to interpret the word OF in the KJV to allow me a "cop-out"... to excuse my lack of faith at times... but how inspiring and exciting the thought that we could get to a place that we are so aware of how crucified we truly are and Christ literally takes over in the area of faith and love. I humbly request your thoughts... I have always loved Galatians 2:20 in the KJV best because of that word "Of" rather than the word "In" used in other translations. Colossians 3:3-4 says, "For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, WHO IS OUR LIFE, is revealed, then you also will appear with Him in glory." John 15:4-5 says, "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me yu can do nothing." In truth, practically every page of the epistles mentions that we are "in" Christ, we do things "by" and "through" Christ, and He is "in" us. It is because we believe this, and acknowledge as one said here that God is love, and that His love is shed abroad in our hearts, that we believe we have the ability to love others, or allow God to love them through us. Ezekiel 36:26-27 says that He will give us a new heart and Spirit and CAUSE us to keep His statutes. I spend several years waiting for Him to live through me and carry out what He was causing to occur through me before it dawned on me (I'm a little slow) that, for my part, I needed to be where He could love through me if He was ever going to love through me. I'm His arms, legs, eyes and ears, in the world. Even in Hebrews 11, the chapter on faith, people acted before they saw the results. That is what faith is. It requires a close relationship with God to know how best to use our arms, legs, ears and eyes to express His love. Some people want ears to listen, some want arms and legs to ack, each situation calls for different things. The best way I can explain it is to say as we see one, "God, I know that your love is in me, and that You have empowered me to act in this person's life to show them (express/manifest) Your love to them. What do you want me to do?" I have faith in His love through me, I then act on that faith, and love is shown. Faith is thus expressed through love. Does that make any sense?

Well said. I feel the same way. So do I.

It is difficult to know God's will for certain. The Bible says,"This is the confidence which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, and if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. My first step is always to make sure that what I'm asking is God's will. To know God's will, I spend time with Him each morning, reading and studying His word, because I first seek out general will. For instance, if I am asking for better relationships between family members or marriages, I assume it is His will to improve those. If I'm asking for another to draw closer to Him, again, I'm assuming that is His will. If I'm asking for an improvement in my character, that would also be His will -- as long as I depend on Him to live through me. If I'm asking for material things (cars, houses, etc), I do not honestly know His will, and in truth, I don't ask much for those things. God has promised, as has been pointed out here, that if we seek His kingdom and His Righeousness, then He will give us everything we need. If it is healing -- now that is a tricky one because some healings bring us closer to Him and some farther away. If I'm having problems with supervisors at work (when I worked, I'm retired now), I ask God to change me and not them. In all prayers, this is my focal point: What brings God the most glory. That is His will, and those are the prayers I KNOW He'll answer. Once that is decided, I put no time limit on Him. I pray daily. I don't say it over and over again in the same day, that seems desperate to me, and desperation is a lack of faith, but I do say it daily because I believe that is the meaning of persistent in the parable about the persistent woman. I also realize that God has to change all parties involved in each prayer request, and so it takes massive coordination. And I have discovered that most of the time, when I start praying for something, it gets worse before it gets better. Either Satan is attacking, or God is increasing faith, but it almost always gets worse before it gets better. On simple requests, sometimes it will get better immediately. Either way, if there is a change at all, I assume that God is working, and thank Him for whatever changed. This helps me build confidence that it IS in His will. I always pray for that, and if He is working, He is answering that, so I have the confidence that it will be a done deal in His own timing. Each change in the situation brings a different thank you for two reasons: one is God is glorified when we thank Him, and two, I remind myself constantly what He has already done to answer my prayer, and this increases my faith. Rhonda http://servantanna.blogspot.com/

I believe the Sermon on the Mount deals more with motivation -- what is inside the heart -- than it deals with anything else. For instance, we are told that when we are angry without a cause, and go so far as to cal somebody a fool or "Raca", we have committed murder in hour hearts. When a person looks at another lustfully, then the person has committed adultery -- their hearts are not pure. This follows practically on the heels of those things. I believe what is in view here are those emotional, rash oaths we make in the heat of the moment. When the emotion leaves, so does the oath. When we swear to tell the truth on a Bible in a court of law, it is not done in the heat of the moment. When we are in a heated conversation, or are passionate in favor of something, and we say, "I swear!" Like, "I sswear I'll never do that gain!!" -- that is in view here. Promises or oaths made in the heat of the moment are rarely kept -- and are not even truly meant to be in our heart of hearts. I think the principle here is that we are to be honorable people who keep our words. If somebody asks us to do something and we say "yes" -- then just do it. Don't go on and swear to do it so that others see your oath, or so that you make a big issue of it by the oath -- just go out and do it. Others see the truth of your words by your actions, without you calling attention to it. Does that make any sense? As for New Years resolutions, I agree with those who say they are goals, not promises. To be honest, very few people actually KEEP New Years resolutions -- but they are good because for awhile, people focus on them and do better. It's a time to start new. But I've not heard many say, "I SWEAR that I'm going to do this from not on", when it comes to New Years resolutions.

Good question -- long answer. Luke 16 carries the story of Lazarus and the rich man. In that story, Jesus says that Lazarus was in Abraham's bosom, the rich man was across a chasm. This whole waiting area is called Sheol. It is/was a waiting place for the dead. Jesus told the thief on the cross: "Today you will be with me in paradise". Paradise or Abraham's bosom are the same thing: the good side of Sheol. When Mary saw Jesus on Resurrection day, He told her not to touch Him because He had not gone to "the Father" (John 20:16, paraphrased). He meant, He had not gone to heaven yet. However, later, they could touch Him. What happened? 1 Peter 3:18-19 says: For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit, by whom also He went and preached to the spirits in prison, who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited int he days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight souls, were saved therough water." After speaking to Mary, He visited Sheol, in the Spirit, He spoke to those on the bad side of Sheol (called Hades), and proclaimed His victory to them (the Greek meaning of the word "preached" in 1 Peter 3:18-19). Then He led those in Paradise/Abraham's bosom to heaven. From that time on, any believer upon his or her death goes straight to heaven. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 says, "So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord." Philippians 1:23-24 confirms this: "For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is the better. Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needul for you." When believers die now, they go to heaven. The "paradise/Abraham's bosom" side of Sheol has been emptied. Nevertheless, the "Hades" side is still full of unbelievers. Jude 6:7 says, And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day; as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. 1 Peter 3:18-19 spoke of "prisoners" in Hades. Revelation 20:13-14 says, "The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death AND HADES delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works. Then Death AND HADES were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death." It is at THIS time that unbelievers are taken out of Hades and thrown into the lake of burning sulphur (hell). You asked about judgment. Romans 14:10, speaking to believers about the "gray areas of life", says, "But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ." 2 Corinthians 5:9-10 says, "Therefore we make it our aim, whether present or absent, to be well pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad." Again, this is speaking of believers, more specifically believers rewards. Believers are assured of heaven and rewarded for good works at the judgment seat OF CHRIST. 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 spells this out further: "For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it because it will be revealed by fire and the fire will tesh each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss, but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire." Believer's WORKS are judged, not the believer. The wood, hay and straw WORKS will burn up, but not the believer. I believe these works are the ones done in our own power, rather than God's power. They are not evil "bad"; the root Greek word just implies "ineffective". Those who believe in the Rapture believe this takes place in heaven before the Second Coming. Those who do not believe in the Rapture say that it takes place when we die. Our place in heaven is assured, but we are judged by our works for reward. The Great White Throne judgment spoken of in Revelation 20:11-15 is the judgment of GOD, the FATHER, for unbelievers, who believed their works would save them: They say: "If we are 'good enough' God will let us into heaven". God points out that it is perfection which saves, and their works are stacked up to perfection. They all lose, and so death and Hades are cast into hell. Believers know we are not perfect either before or after salvation. Our FAITH is in the promise that JESUS WAS perfect and as believers we are "in HIM and cling to HIS perfection, is our salvation. However, we also know that being IN HIM, HE is also IN US, and by the power of the Holy Spirit is transforming us into His likeness -- meaning we are becoming more Christ-like. If we aren't, we question whether we are in Him. If we are -- HE is doing all the work in and through us. People see our good works and glorify GOD because they know, as we know, that HE is doing them in us. In doing "good" after salvation, we are not attempting to be saved, we are merely living out the fact that we WERE saved. I'm sorry for the length of this, but I hope it answrs your question. Rhonda

This does explain things a bit more. I think were I am tripping up is in the words "beyond reproach" In my study though not all translations are worded that way. I would be interested to know what the greek is. does any one know? The closest I have is the New American Translation. I will look there and report back in. I really appreciate everyones coments. It has really been tripping me up.

what do you mean by living above the "blame" but also my question remains how can you live to a point where you are above any one's reproach where you are so good and holy that there is no one on earth that can reproach you. I almost sounds to me like this is where the Catholics place the pope. (no knock on catholics) but there is what it sounds like to me. Who is on this earth that is so almight that no one can rebuke him or her? You are correct. In our sin, we can never be "beyond reproach". I believe that in the context of the quote about elders, they have been transformed to the point where nobody can find any "dirt" on them, much the same as Daniel in Daniel 6. People wanting him out of the way attempted to dig up dirt on him, but couldn't find it. So, they were forced to go to King Darius and ask him to make a verdict that everybody had to worship only him. They knew that Daniel would refuse, so that in this way, he would "break the law" and they'd have something to use against him. You are correct. We all sin. You mentioned that we need Jesus because we all sin. I think that part of salvation is not only that "we all sin" -- but that I sin -- me, myself and my -- in such a way that I can never, ever get better. I can never do away with the love of sinning, the desire to please self, the rebellion at submitting to those higher than I (like God). Once I come to the end of "self" -- I repent. I turn away from "self" into a new direction. Self can never be improved. It must be killed. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "For He (God) made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." In essence, an exchange takes place. God died physically as the Substitute for us, but God gave His righteousness to us, as we die spiritually. Galatians 2:20 says, "I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me." We die spiritually. We are made a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17) in that our old sin nature is done away with, and replaced with God in us -- Jesus in us. "("Saints) to whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is CHRIST IN YOU, the hope of glory." John 15:4-5 says, "Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine, no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, FOR WITHOUT ME YE CAN DO NOTHING.' People often believe that God saves us from our sins to eternal life, and He does. BUT the purpose of God's saving us is so that we can be transformed, living the life He calls us to live here and now. We are "saved" from "self" and sin to walk in newness of life here and now. We need Jesus not just to get to heaven -- but to live here on earth. The Bible says about this part of salvation:"Bue we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord...For God; who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. (2 Corinthians 3:18, 4:6-7) "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, AND GLORIFY YOUR FATHER, which is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16) "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which god hath before ordained that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:8-10) Good works do not save us -- we're hopeless and will always be because of the flesh (container for our souls and spirits). We follow the container more than what is inside. BUT, by faith, Jesus comes into our hearts with the Holy Spirit. They empower us and live through us to accomplish their will. People see our light -- the light of God in us -- living through us, and know that we are not responsible for good works -- GOD is through us, and so they give Him glory. But, as Christians, even though we are saved by grace -- apart from works, we are saved for the purpose of good works created by God. The problem is that without Him in us -- we can't DO them -- and THAT is why we need Jesus. The longer we live by the faith in Jesus Death, Ressurection, and the power from them, the more people will see Him in us -- and that is where "beyond reproach" becomes a reality. You are correct -- our FLESH will NEVER be "beyond reproach" but our spirits and hearts are already if we've asked Jesus to come and rule -- and HE is always beyond reproach. People see that and give God the glory. I hope this answers your question.

Truth be known, there are several interpretations of "hell", "hades", "paradise", 'Sheol", and the "lake of burning sulphur". I could not even tell you exactly which interpretation is the correct one. And to boot, one of them is Greek, another Hebrew, and so on. My own view is that hell and Hades are two different places because Revelation 20:14, in the KJV says that "death and hell were cast into the lake of fire." See, I always thought the lake of fire WAS hell. Other versions say that Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. It has gotten to the point where I see it like this: Sheol is a place with two portions. On one side is Hades, or a place where unbelievers rest until the Great White Throne Judgement. Paradise or Abraham's bosom is the place where Old Testament saints went. That'w where Lazarus went when he died, though the rich man went to Hades. Jesus told the thief on the cross, 'Today you will be with me in paradise -- the Abraham bosom side where the Lazarus was. When Jesus went to Paradise, He proclaimed victory over the prisoners in Hades -- that is what is spoken of in 1 Peter 3:19-20, "By which alse He went and preached unto the spirits in prison; which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a-preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water. These souls, are the souls of the unbelievers in Hades, the ones thrown in the lake of fire at the Last Great Throne Judgment. The others -- the believers -- He brought up to be with the Lord. That is the context of the Ephesians passage -- what does it mean that he ascended if He did not first descent to Hades... At any rate, to me, because of Revelation 20:14, hell and Hades are distinct. Some lump all of the "unbeliever" side (Hades) into Sheol, and don't place compartments in Sheol, because the believing side is now in heaven. So, in essence, to them, "Sheol", "Paradise" Hades," and "Abraham's Bosom are all interchangeable because they are all compartments of the same area. But all are distinct from hell. However, if you want to really get the the "heart" of the matter, my suggestion would be to use a concordance. I know the Blue Letter Bible web-side has a concordance for the King James Version which is a compilation of the Strong's Concordance, with a Greek Concordance and a Hebrew Concordance. Look up the passage in it, and it will break down the word into Hebrew and Greek. Then, go to each reference in the Bible to see which ones all use the same exact word. That should distinguish between "Hell" and Hades" better than I could. I mean, by doing that, you will discover which word SHOULD have been used: Hell, Hades, Sheol, and so on. As to "false doctrine", I believe that all Christians should agree that there is a heaven and a hell. Heaven is for believers, hell is for unbelievers. The rest of the interpretations are not nearly as important as the "doctrine" of heaven and hell. They are ways of understanding the Bible better, but the IMPORTANT doctrines in this area are heaven and hell. Rhonda

This is my understanding, though I know that there are a variety of opinions among very strong Christians regarding this subject. I believe in the Rapture. 1 Thessalonians 4:17 says: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord." "Caught up" literally means "rapture". 1 Corinthians 15:51-52 says, "Behold, I shew you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump; for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal shall put on immortality..." This means that those raptured will not have mortal bodies, but will receive immortal bodies fit for eternity in heaven. Again, those who believe in a Rapture believe it could occur either at the biginning, middle, or end of the Tribulation, but ALL who believe in the Rapture believe that it occurs before the Millennium. Thus, those who were Raptured will have immortal bodies during the Millennium. BUT, there are also Tribulation saints. These are people who become believers after the Rapture. They've missed the Rapture, yet they are still believers. If they do not die during the Millennium, then they will still have mortal bodies, since they missed the time the bodies changed. Isaiah 65:20 says of these people during the Millennium, "There shall be no more thence an infant of days, nor an old man that hath not filled his days: for the child shall die an hundred years old; but the sinner being an hundred years old shll be accursed." This can't mean heaven because there is no death in heaven. I've used the KJV because I have a giant-print KJV, and poor eyesight, but a version closer to today's language might help here. "No longer will babies die when only a few days old. No longer will adults die before they have lived a full life. No longer will people be considered old at one hundred! Only sinners will die that young!" The reason I quote the verse is to say that immortal (incorruptible) bodies do not die -- only corruptible (mortal) ones. These, then are those who are believers when the Millennium began, but missed the Rapture. In 1,000 years, they have children, and those children may or may not become believers. The onles who do NOT become believers are the "sinners" who "die" young -- at 100. The reason longer life is possible during the Millennium is the same reason it was possible for Adam and Eve and the other generations listed in Genesis 5 -- there was not as much sin or disease on earth. So, the quick response to your question is that there will be both mortal and immortal bodies during the millennium. But, at the end of the Millennium, when God creates a new heaven and a new earth (Revelation 21:1) -- ALL believers, including the mortal ones during the Millennium -- will receive immortal bodies. Rhonda

The story of Melchizadek is written in Genesis 14:18-20: "Then Melkhizedek, the king of Salem and a priest of God most High, brought him bread and wine. Melchizadek blessed Abram with this blessing: 'Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth. And blessed be God Most High, who has helped you conquer your enemies.' Then Abram gave Melchizadek a tenth of all the goods he had recovered." See, the thing is Melchizadek appeared from nowhere -- Abram (Abraham) had fought five enemies with the help of few, and all of a sudden it skips gears and says that this guy, Melchizedek was there blessing Abraham, and that Abraham gave him a tenth of his goods (a tithe). He was the king of Salem, which means peace, if I'm not mistaken. Salem was not yet part of the Jewish/Hebrew Jerusalem (Isreal/Judah), so this person was a Gentile, he was a king, and he was a priest. He came from nowhere. Psalm 110 is the next time Melchizedek is mentioned. It is a psalm of David. David says, "The Lord said to my Lord, Sit in honor at my right hand..." (Psalm 110:1). "The Lord (God) said to my Lord (David's Lord -- Jesus), "Sit at My right hand..." and then in verse 4, God is still speaking to David's Lord, Jesus, and says, "The Lord has taken an oath and will not break His vow -- 'You are a priest forever in the ling of Melchizedek." This mians that Jesus will be a priest not only of the Jews, but of the Gentiles. He's from a Jewish tribe (Judah) on earth, but He'll be a priest for all people as Melchizedek was. Abram, the Father of the Jews, paid tribute to Mechizedek -- a foreigner. In essence, that is what Hebrews 7 is all about -- comparing the priesthood of Melchizedek and the Levitical priesthood, and stating that Melchizedek's is better for the reasons specified there. Melchizedek is either a type of Christ, or a pre-Incarnete appearance of Christ. The study resources I use are divided right down the line on that one. But that is what Hebrews 7 is referring to. Rhonda

I think there is kind of an order to the above passages. It begins in 1 Peter 2:2. As babes in Christ, we desire His Word, which is able to "grow us up", so to speak. The passage goes on to say that the growing here is into living stones, rejected by man but chosen by God to become a royal priesthood. In essence, we are not to mature just for ourselves, but as living stones in His Temple -- meaning "grow together", and as a royal priesthood, servants in the world. Priests pray and teach and sacrifice for others. From there, it goes to Hebrews 5:12: some don't want to get past the "milk" in the word. Chapter 6 describes this milk: Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of the doctrines of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, of eternal judgment." (Hebrews 6:2). After that is a strong warning to not fall away, but then the "meat" is described thus: "For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name in that you have ministered to the saints. and do minister. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises." (Hebrews 6:10-12). Again, through faith and patience, we love God, and minister to the saints. Repentance and faith in His resurrection are necessary for salvation, but they are the BEGINNING of the Christian walk, not the end of it. People can be caught up in these nice, reassuring things, and not want to move on. Discussions about the laying on of hands, baptismS (interesting, I never saw the plural before), etc. can be intellectual discussions without any change to life habits. This leads to 1 Corinthians 3:2: As somebody quoted in this thread, the reason the Corinthians were still on milk is that they were carnal: there was envy, strife, and divisions -- not the building up of God's temple with living stones, and no royal priesthood. We are to grow. We read the "milk" of God's word -- and make it part of our lives, being obedient to Go God's Word through HIS power, and as we experience the truth of His word and HIS power, wo grow. All true believers are being transformed and conformed into the image of Christ -- we never reach our goal completely until we die (I am understanding things in a deeper way now than I did when I was saved, and the more I am learning, the more I'm discovering just how much I have to learn, not just intellectually, but to the core of my being), but I think the idea is that we need to at least be growing, and not just standing still in our faith and love.

From my own perspective, I believe because I've found truth in the Bible. Archaeologists and historians have proved the Bible is true. Even science has been proven true according to the Bible -- for instance, Isaiah 40:22 says that He reigns above the circle of the eart - so the Bible had the earth being round long before man did. Those are just intellectual facts. Then I did an end times study, but the portion which thrilled me the most did not have to do with the end times, it had to do with the prophecies which were already so literrally fulfilled that it added credeence to the truth of the Bible. They are too lenghty to go into here, because your deeper question is more emotional than mere facts, but I guess what I mean is all of that led me to listen to other things in the Bible. The Bible says that all men sin. Some people do better than others in keeping the law, but it has been my observation that even if we manage to "do" good, I've never met a person who "feels" right all the time. I know that I didn't. I was rebellious about letting another take control. I was proud and independent, the captian of my own ship. I would do what was expected of me, yet not really care about it. God wants us to LOVE Him and others, and though I was going through all of the motions, there were very few times I really loved. Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. This is true. I knew there was something wrong with my heart -- how could I make it REAL!! Matthew 5:16 says, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, in heaven." That always bugged the heck out of me: If I was doing good workis, why would God get the glory? I didn't want HIM to get glory for works I was doing!! That's the stubborn pride and rebellion I was talking about that was in even me, whom everybody thought was a "good kid". And yet a part of me DID want to feel that way because that is what it means to be a Christian -- to want to glorify God and make HIM look good. To let His plans, goals, the things HE loves be more important to me than my own goals. Intellectualy I knew that, but never felt any of it. I studied the Bible and knew enough to know the way it was supposed to be, but knew it really was not that way for me, even though I spent my whole life in church, and even though it was important to me to do the right thing. I didn't know how to BE the right thing though. I've always had the terror of not being real, of being a hypocrite, of coming before God in death only to discover that my whole life was in vain, and I never got it. The Bible says that to make this real, we have to confess our sin -- not sinS but SIN -- that rebellious nature, that pride, that independence. 1 John 1:8-9 says, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive oourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." To confess it simply means to agree with God that this is what we are. He is only interested in the heart, not our actions. The problem with this sin is that God hates all sin. In fact, according to 23 says that the wages of sin is death. I believe that means death in the physical sense, but also in emotions; senses: death to relationships, death to discipline, death to job in the long term, etc. Jesus paid that penalty of death. So, after confessing our sin, the next step is to repent of it and believe in Jesus' death. When Peter was asked what must be done to be saved in Acts 2, he replied in verse 38: "Repent; and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." (Acts 2"38). Repentance means to turn away from sin, and head in a new direction. According to this passage, that new direction is baptism into the Name of Christ. This baptism has been taken literally (water baptism) and spiritually, and I will not debate it here, but baptism means "immersion" and what happens is that we are immersed into Christ. This means that we become a part of Him and He becomes a part of US. The passage concludes by saying that we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit. This means that we have gotten rid of that old rebellious, prideful heart, and that now Jesus and the Holy Spirit are inside us. We believe that by faith. We LIVE by faith -- not just for eternity, but for each moment now. When Jesus and the Holy Spirits come into our hearts, we are changed. The Bible says, "For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us." (2 Corinthians 4:6-7). Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentle ness, self-control. Against such there is no law." See, this is the fruit of the Spirit in you. Once you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit works in your life People see the excellence of HIS power -- not yours -- and that is why they glorify God -- they know that humans are not capable of the works you now do from the heart. In answer to your question, why do you believe? I believe because I've seen this transformation -- not only in my life, but in the lives of others. I'm no longer a hypocrite -- GOD LIVES IN ME!! I am His arms, legs, mouth, ears -- HE lives through me!! That is what benefit I've had as a Christian, in response to your second question -- His works are from the new heart He has given me -- they are REAL -- I am no longer a hypocrite!! Now, why does God let evil happen in the world? This is just my opinion, but I think evil happens because people are evil and Satan is evil. God did not just "let it pass" -- God sent His Son to die for us the most cruel way a person can ever die. Or live. I mean, Jesus was rejected by religious tleaders, worldly people, His disciples did not understand Him, and, according to John 7:5, even his step-brothers (God was His Father, Joseph theirs) didn't believe Him, though Jude and James later did, and we have letters in the Bible proving that. And, even during the crucifixion, everybody was doing whatever they could to humiliate Him. On the cross, Jesus took on the sins of the world, and even God, the Father, could not look at Him, as Jesus cried, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me!! But that was momentary, Jesus rose from the dead, and is back in heaven now. So, that was part one of God's love for sinful man, if not for sin. Secondly, those who believe have Jesus IN them, we have His love, His care, His concern. Those "earthly vessels" referenced earlier are our bodies -- still capable of sin. But we have GOD inside us and He is just ITCHING to love the world through us. We are supposed to let Him do so. He is not the one at fault if we are not doing what He called us to do. When Adam and Eve sinned, the world itself, and not just the people in it, were cursed. This means that floods, and droughts, earthquakes, etc. happen -- just as people are not perfect, neither is the world. God created it perfect, and will re-create it perfect -- but in the mean time His plan hinges on those who are saved being His arms, legs, hands, feet, mouth, and ears. We listen, we talk, we move, we comfort. If you have any faith at all, do what He has called you to do -- and you WILL see Him at work!! That, in turn, will deepen your faith in His love. I'll be praying for you!! Rhonda

I did not realize that Jesus was "'ntolerant of ignorance' in Matthew 5. I simply thought he was telling others the beginning of the sermon on the mount. "Intolerant" is a strong word and has an extremely bad reputation in the world today. Jesus is the only way to heaven, and no other name in heaven saves. I am stubborn on that point and nobody can ever convince me of anything else. I tell others that also because I want them to be saved. This makes me inflexible. I would not use the word "intolerant" however, because I try to respect other persons. I may express my opinion, but I try to allow them their also. I pray for them since only God can save. Saving comes by hearing the word of God, so I also try to get His word out there, but the rest is up to God and the other person. To me, intolerance infers that we should have absolutely nothing to do with anybody who disagrees with us -- we can't "tolerate" them in our presence. Though in marriage, we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:8-11 from the KJV, since my eyesight is atrocious, and I have a giant print of this version: "Therefore let us keep the feast, not with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators; yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man THAT IS CALLED A BROTHER be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or extoritioner; with such on one no not to eat." The idea is that we ARE supposed to eat with sinners in the world (how else would or even COULD they hear the gospel), but if one claims to be a brother (a Christian) and has no conviction of his sin, that person we should not be around. Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners all of the time. He also ate with Pharisees, but as is correct in the original post to this thread -- Jesus is VERY intolerant of hypocricy, and saves his harshest criticism for hypocrite and those who lacked faith. I understand that the original post-er was using "intolerance" as the form of the word used today, and was stating that Jesus is the only way to heaven, and that would not change for him or her -- or for me, either. Though the rest of the world (the secular world) would call me intolerant because of this stubborn belief of mine, I believe that since I respect others, I am not intolerant. I don't honestly believe the original post'er is intolerant , according to the secular version of the word, either. But stating their views with the word "intolerance" -- does it run the risk of needlessly alienating others? I guess that's my question. I agree with those in this thread who try to balance their convictions with genuine concern for the welfare of others, especially their spiritual welfare.

I did not realize that Jesus was "'ntolerant of ignorance' in Matthew 5. I simply thought he was telling others the beginning of the sermon on the mount. "Intolerant" is a strong word and has an extremely bad reputation in the world today. Jesus is the only way to heaven, and no other name in heaven saves. I am stubborn on that point and nobody can ever convince me of anything else. I tell others that also because I want them to be saved. This makes me inflexible. I would not use the word "intolerant" however, because I try to respect other persons. I may express my opinion, but I try to allow them their also. I pray for them since only God can save. Saving comes by hearing the word of God, so I also try to get His word out there, but the rest is up to God and the other person. To me, intolerance infers that we should have absolutely nothing to do with anybody who disagrees with us -- we can't "tolerate" them in our presence. Though in marriage, we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:8-11 from the KJV, since my eyesight is atrocious, and I have a giant print of this version: "Therefore let us keep the feast, not with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators; yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man THAT IS CALLED A BROTHER be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or extoritioner; with such on one no not to eat." The idea is that we ARE supposed to eat with sinners in the world (how else would or even COULD they hear the gospel), but if one claims to be a brother (a Christian) and has no conviction of his sin, that person we should not be around. Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners all of the time. He also ate with Pharisees, but as is correct in the original post to this thread -- Jesus is VERY intolerant of hypocricy, and saves his harshest criticism for hypocrites

I've done the sself-pity, complaining, clingy bit. I didn't start out better, and go through a spell. I used to be always like that. So, I can not really speak to the fact that you've changed into someone like that -- only God and you can. Perhaps you can ask Him to show you the root cause of your current behavior. But, as to dealing with it now, the set of books which helped me the most when I reached your point was "Walking in Truth and Love" by Nancy Missler; most specifically "The Way of Agape" and "Be Ye Transformed." In a nutshell, what helped me the most was reading -- and believing -- that God loves me more than anybody else ever could (so that I do not need the love of others). If you are a Christian, and it sounds like you are, just remember that God created you for a purpose only YOU can do, He chose you, He called you, and He giften you with things, making you unique. You, like all of us, are a sinner. Toward that end, God sent Jesus to save us, and according to John 10, Jesus lay down His OWN life for "His friends" -- like YOU!! But, Jesus did more than that: Do you know that Jesus is God and God hates sin? Yet He came to a world full of sin. I mean that would be like me walking into a garbage dump filled with magots in order to help another -- it would take all the courage I had. But He walked into the garbage dump from heaven -- literally HEAVEN -- for you. Nor, was it easy on earth. His mother "kept things in her heart" she didn't understand. According to John 7, His brothers did not believe Him and taunted Him. Every time I turn around in Scriptures, His disciples were lost and confused about things He said -- in fact they all forsook Him at the end. He knew that would happen when He came -- First, He is GOD; secondly, the OT prophecies say that He will be rejected -- and He came anyway.. Then, even before His death, He was tortured, had mock trials, again all prophecied -- yet He came anyway. For YOU!! He rose again, and won victory over sin and death. As a believer, His Spirit now resides in you. God controls every one of your circumstances, and they are all for your good (Romans 8:28). Do you know anybody else, boyfriend included who is willing or capable to do everything that God was willing to do and actually DID for you? I don't want you to take My word, I want you to see GOD'S word: He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do. (Psalm 33:15) For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother