Afal Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted February 17, 2009 I hate it when people in church ask me this question - How are you? They are all smiles and inside I'm hurting. What should I do? Tell them the truth and spoil their Sunday morning or lie and say 'Fine thank you'?? This is such a dilemma because I really don't want to lie and I also don't want to spoil their Sunday morning. In anycase, are they really wanting to know how I am or are they just being polite as it is the 'nice' thing to say when you meet someone in church? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.23 Reputation: 9,762 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted February 17, 2009 Well, have you considered asking them if they really want to know? That may be considered really rude, for "How are you" is just a greeting for some, if not most. Still, if they are serious, and one will not know until they ask, ask. If they really do care, they will take the time to listen and help, in any way the Lord leads them. I agree that some just spit the words out without meaning, but there are also those who genuinely care. We never know who the Lord leads to help us until we ask. Hope that helps. God Bless, Alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
victory777 Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 31 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 213 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/30/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/06/1949 Share Posted February 17, 2009 tell the truth, not smile on the outside, if thats not how you really feel,share, with anther sister or brother so they may pray for you,i will pray for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunterpoet Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 0 Topic Count: 128 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,704 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/29/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/08/1950 Share Posted February 17, 2009 WOW...what a great question...so many possibilities. In a way, since you are upright and able to speak and shake hands you are doing well...maybe not fine, but well enough, so you could respond...I'm well thank you . Then again, you could lay your burden on the person, but this may be unwise, depending on who is doing the asking, like the editor of the church paper( if you get my meaning). Or you could say " as good as can be expected "..this is truthful and gives the person a chance to run away or inquire further. and last , but certainly not least...you could answer " I'm in God's care ". I know exactly where you are with this. There are times when I have had to drag myself to church...ugh...all those cheerful smiling faces.. Took me awhile to figure out what I was doing wrong. Grace and Peace to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet~lady Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 141 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/21/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted February 17, 2009 I hate it when people in church ask me this question - How are you? They are all smiles and inside I'm hurting. What should I do? Tell them the truth and spoil their Sunday morning or lie and say 'Fine thank you'?? This is such a dilemma because I really don't want to lie and I also don't want to spoil their Sunday morning. In anycase, are they really wanting to know how I am or are they just being polite as it is the 'nice' thing to say when you meet someone in church? Greetings Afal, As you most likely already know, we cannot share our problems with just anyone for this can greatly increase the problem through added pain (when they don't understand or get it ) and confusion ( generating sometimes unwanted multitudes of contradictory advice especially that which is not biblically sound ). Have you considered just simpy saying to them "not that well at the moment" or "in a word, struggling" or something of that nature will let them know that you are struggling and if they have any sensitivity to The Spirit of God that will lead them to intercessory prayer on your behalf. Also as somebody already said, through doing that, being real instead of wearing a mask will prompt someone to offer their help albeit through a listening ear, sound scriptural advice, etc. Be yourself, ask God to give you the courage to be authentic. It's what He wants. Hope this can help point you in the right direction. I can fully understand where you are coming from. Blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColleenLovesMischief Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,791 Content Per Day: 0.37 Reputation: 21 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/21/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/13/1977 Share Posted February 17, 2009 My normal standard answer is "making it". If they want to know more they ask (only happened once), and if they don't they move on. No lie involved, and I didn't have to divulge too much information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trusting Jesus Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,050 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/09/1952 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Usually it is a greeting, but when I say it to someone it is open ended. If they need to talk to someone, I'm there. Do you need to talk? Is there someone in you church that you feel close to? How about the pastor's wife? Many people do care, but it's hard to say "I do have a problem and I need to talk to someone". By the way, Afal -- how are you? (And I do mean it) <>< ><> Nathele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glorywatch Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 88 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 692 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/02/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/02/1946 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I have felt that way so many times. Truthfully I feel that when people say that, basically they are just greeting people. It's more rhetorical than a real question about a persons well being. I am not saying everyone is that way, but most really are just being polite. If you feel crummy, just say, "not to good today." If they really want to know how you are they will offer to pray for you or question you further. If not, they will say something like "I hope you feel better.' No one gets hurt in the process. One thing I know for sure is that when we least feel like going to church is when we need it the most! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebekahDavid Posted February 17, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3,166 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 23 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted February 17, 2009 I hate it when people in church ask me this question - How are you? They are all smiles and inside I'm hurting. What should I do? Tell them the truth and spoil their Sunday morning or lie and say 'Fine thank you'?? This is such a dilemma because I really don't want to lie and I also don't want to spoil their Sunday morning. In anycase, are they really wanting to know how I am or are they just being polite as it is the 'nice' thing to say when you meet someone in church? Greetings Afal, As you most likely already know, we cannot share our problems with just anyone for this can greatly increase the problem through added pain (when they don't understand or get it ) and confusion ( generating sometimes unwanted multitudes of contradictory advice especially that which is not biblically sound ). Have you considered just simpy saying to them "not that well at the moment" or "in a word, struggling" or something of that nature will let them know that you are struggling and if they have any sensitivity to The Spirit of God that will lead them to intercessory prayer on your behalf. Also as somebody already said, through doing that, being real instead of wearing a mask will prompt someone to offer their help albeit through a listening ear, sound scriptural advice, etc. Be yourself, ask God to give you the courage to be authentic. It's what He wants. Hope this can help point you in the right direction. I can fully understand where you are coming from. Blessings. i agree this is good advice do not be afraid to say i am struggling and in need of prayers. you do not however have to divulge what you are struggling with to everyone the Lord knows.praying with and for other people is a blessings not a burden. tho most people may say how are you in place of hi or good morning. i do think most Christians would have the heart to pray for others who are struggling. i know when i have needed prayers in the past asking for them and receiving them was such a blessing to me as well. hope this helps. love your sister in Christ, Rebekah David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted February 20, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Thanks for the advice. Trusting Jesus asked how I am so I will say OK thank you. I am OK. I am happily married, but the issues of the past don't just run away when you get married. I am still suffering from PTSD and CFS although they are both so much better than they were. Praise God! However, if I have had a bad night on Saturday, then it really is a challenge to get to church on Sunday morning and put on my happy face - hence my question. Most people in the church aren't even aware of my medical issues so I guess their 'How are you?' really is just a greeting as many of you said. Thanks and God bless you :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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