Anger

[Matthitjah]

Grace to you,

Latent anger is often associated with Fear.

Peace,

Dave

[Chiquita]

Thank you all for your replies.

Jamilea: I really appreciate you! I think I need to do that, sit and meditate with the Lord on what debt I feel is owed to be and cancel it. That really spoke to me. I am going to work on that. Since I posted this, my anger has subsided a bit. It must be everyone's prayers. It's just so hard to think why I have been put through so much. The enemy has really tried hard to keep me down. You would not believe some of the stuff I have been through. I could write a novel and it would be considered close to a thriller... lol Have you guys seen the trailer to the new movie coming out called, "Precious"? Well, the way that girl feels is exactly the way I do.

I really feel God gave me my son to show me how much He loves me. When my son is not home - which is so rarely - I feel so lost. I think to myself, now what? I don't know if I would even be alive if I didn't have him.

I know I have to find forgiveness, as the Lord forgave me - I just have to get there!!! And then once I find it, I have to go down the line of people I have anger with... Well, I know some I have already forgive through love. Its just those that KEEP hurting me -my mom- are the ones that are hard to forgive. Any lil negative comment can ignite all the anger I have for her. It's just a constant reminder of how low she thinks of me. She never loved me. If I were to tell you stories believe me, you would think that as well.

I'd love to keep in tough! I'll send you a note with my private email address.

[Chiquita]

Hey you! I'm so glad to see things are better. I became overwhelmed with chills when I read your update. Listen, you may want to find a Celebrate recovery at your church or see if there is one in your area. You don't have to have an addiction to a substance to find peace with this. Get an accountability partner and work through the 12 steps but replace the addiction part with "anger". The 4th step, 8th and 9th steps will really help you with what you have been through in your life. The reason I know this is because it helped me and I have seen it help thousands of others in my lifetime. It's a completely Christ centered program so make sure it has that name attached to it before going to these meetings. Best of all, it's free so that's cheaper than therapy lol I felt implored to tell you that it will change your life to get all these things out.

Awhile ago, I attended a church service where the pastor talked about forgiveness and old hurts from childhood. I had just been talking about how I couldn't forgive my mother not even a week prior in my backyard with another Christian. I swore he was in the backyard listening in LOL! Well, he said that we need to be warriors for the Lord. He said something along the lines of "Can you imagine all of us going out to battle with all of these hurts and wounds from the past that we could be clearing up and taking care of? While the people we aren't forgiving are going on with their lives and we are sitting in bitterness, hurting over it. We need to step out in faith and take care of these things so we can be putting on the Full Armor!" Anyways, to make a long story short, it ended in the debt being cancelled, etc etc like I shared with you above. And then he had us bow our heads and close our eyes. I was already in tears by this point but then he had us do something that I never expected. He said "If you are ready tonight to forgive these debts, say out loud. Mom, dad, I forgive you." I am getting chills as I am typing this. I said it out loud with the pastor and for the first time, I honestly meant it. I bawled like a little baby.

That night, I thanked God for taking that from me. Then, I had a dream about one of my childhood friends. I honestly had no idea that I was angry with her and had never forgiven her. She always sat on the side lines and went with the crowd while they were all terrorizing me, making fun of me, she just kept her mouth shut. I didn't even go to her wedding when she got married and didn't congratulate her when she was pregnant with her first child, that's how angry I was with her. Well, I woke up and was BOILING with anger, I mean just boiling to the point where I had that expression on my face that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop feeling that way. I closed my eyes and said "Father, thank you for showing me this. I can't forgive her on my own. I want to, really I do but I need your help." A few minutes later, it was gone. I was shocked, amazed and overwhelmed all in one. I praised the Father. It was like after forgiving my parents, He literally said "Okay daughter, you are ready to be shown the other areas where you need to forgive and I am right here to see you through it."

Keep me posted. I love you sis!

[unbeaten]

I have a lot of anger inside. Mostly it is because of all of the things my mother put me through growing up bcz of her alcoholism. I am not angry towards her anymore just generally angry because of all of the things I had to deal with because of her neglect and abuse. I am so angry that every little thing people do makes me curse in my head. I'm not always like this but sometimes it gets really bad like today. It's rarely like this actually but sometimes I get really, really bad. I can't stand myself. I pray and pray but I'm still angry. Sometimes I feel like He's not listening even though I know for sure He is but nothing ever happens to make this anger go away. I'm STILL single at 34. I don't have anybody to hold me and tell me everything will be ok. I leave work and pick p my phone in my car to call someone. Then I realize, who am I going to call? This happens almost everyday. It's very strange. I can;t seem to get it through my big head that there is simply no one there. I have like 2 friends but they hardly ever answer their phones as they are buys with their families and husbands. I'm not angry at them. I'm just angry.

I can certainly understand how you feel. I am angry all the time. I feel alone no matter whos in the room with me. I am 30, divorced. Many failed relationships. 2 kids. Even with my kids who I wouldnt trade the world for....I still feel more alone in the world than ever. Ive cried so much I can't even cry anymore. I just sit around and work and do my normal day things I have to get done- and dont talk much, dont interact much. All my friends have left me, alienated me, or royally hurt me and walked away. I dont talk on the phone much either. My dog curls up with me, hes about my very best friend.

[rising from the ashes]

Chiquita, Hi and blessing to you. I am currently seeking counseling for this very matter, I can only tell you one thing. You are bigger than your anger.

Your anger serves as a channel that makes you make one of two decisions: Let it control you and let it control your situations, giving satin that much of a foothold leads straight to a chokehold. OR... You can know where your anger is coming from and and giving it to God so he can change the situation and attitude, making a positive outcome.

For too long have let something like my anger dictate to me who I was. I am not an angry person and neither are you. You are a child of God and your anger is an emotion given to you by God. I would really like to get into more personal detail here but I am reluctant to reveal such a painful situation tat is still so fresh and really only family and my church know, and God himself. I can tell you however that negative outcomes because you believe your anger got in the way is only the fist step to freedom from something that is so debilitating. I am 25 years of age and I come from a very, very, very...... similar back ground.

I feel your hurt in my heart and I pray that you have not let your anger drive you away from Christ. Know Jesus has been there he know your pain and you have been given an opportunity to make these negatives into positives by trusting Jesus is with you......

Still sooo much I would like to tell you but this is just not that time.. You can email me if you would like to know more and pray that you would read this and know that you not alone..

I will pray for you....God bless

Your brother in Christ

Logan Durrett

[vlad]

I also have problems with anger. Most people have some weak points. The way out I guess is to pray and to try it over and over again not to be angry and never give up. Our life is a constant spiritual struggle. Never despair. Try and try.

[MorningGlory]

I also have problems with anger. Most people have some weak points. The way out I guess is to pray and to try it over and over again not to be angry and never give up. Our life is a constant spiritual struggle. Never despair. Try and try.

Absolutely.

[Fez]

Hi Chiquita,

I know how it feels to be alone. I am 42 and still single, and living in a foreign country all by myself. And like you I don't have too many friends, at least where I am now. I am, however, blessed with a very close friend here, who I've known since I was a teenager. She is married and has a family of her own. But even if she is married, we still get together. Well, the effort comes mostly from me. I go to her house and visit her and play with her kids. Her son is my partner in WII. After church, I meet up with her and her family for snacks or lunch. If she has some event happening in her house, I offer to help.

I try to attend special activities in church. But due to the nature of my work and my schedule, I can't get involved on a regular basis.

At work, I try to enjoy time with my co-workers. I teach in a language institute and sometimes during breaks, teachers and I just sit around in our teacher's lounge and I try to ask them things and get to know them.

Sometimes, I just take walks in the park or take my camera with me and take pictures of flowers in the Botanic Garden. Or I take the train and go to the northest part of town and go window shopping. It helps to keep yourself occupied.

One time, I invited the cleaning lady for lunch in my apartment because I really wanted to cook something special but I had no one to cook for. And she was very very happy and now she has become my good friend. She works in another center now and I see her only on weekends. But everytime she sees me, she gives me a big hug and a kiss. She makes me feel loved.

Well, what am I really trying to say? Try to involve yourself with activities and take your mind off your past hurts. Maybe get into a hobby. Try to do little things for other people too. These are only some of the practical things you can do.

On a spiritual level, look unto Jesus. Ask Him to heal you of your past hurts. Ask Him to lead you, and He will. Spend time with Him and just be honest before Him about what you feel. He cares deeply for you.

Blessings...South

Umm... this is an old post, and it nearly brought me to tears. Not because of South's story, but because it is now history.

Because of her love and her trust in God. And because if we are patient, and if we wait while abiding in Him, He will answer.

We serve an awesome God, we really, really do!

Blessings...Fez and South

[femelle]

I have had a problem of passive anger since i was a small child due to a whole host of things. However, today i make choices when i feel angry and when that emotion builds, instead of making choices that hurt me i try always to focus outward and do something kind for another human being. This, for me, acts as a neutraliser (love) to the anger and more often than not, helps me to get past the negative emotions and focus on what is really important.

[new nanny]

I keep my worship music close by....especially in the car. (this is where most of my anger is manifested...lol) When anger begins to surface I turn on the cd player. It doesn't take long before my anger fades and my attitude changes. Perspective is everything!!!! God is near when we praise Him!!!

Hang in there!!

I keep music at hand also....I have found that over the years, my anger fades about my childhood, and I realize that it really is a relatively short period of our lives.....the closer I grow to Christ....the less angry I feel.....I've made healthy boundries for those who drag me down or make me angry and found that counting blessings helps also. I throw myself into places and people that I trust to hold me accountable it trial times......and there always will be those.