Can two ministers of the opposite sex just be friends

[spiritman]

Me and one of the other associate ministers in my church have become very close and we talk a lot on the phone but it's strictly about church, singing, and just casual talk about our jobs and kids and stuff. But we both are attracted to each other. Neither one of use have mentioned anything out of the way to the other one but we just know because the chemistry be so thick in the room when we're together working on a project or something. Sometimes we have to be alone and we don't say anything but oure eye contact be so strong. Is God pleased with us feeling this way even though we have not acted on these feelings but continue to praise our spouses to each other and remind ourselves of how good our own marriages are? I see this as a way of denying the flesh but what do you do about those feelings even when you've already made your decision not to sin?

Can a man play with fire, and not get burned? You might want to consider a reassignment before you both end up doing something you might regret later.

Peace spiritman

[ellarose]

Sorry for the confusion ellarose. I thought you were asking me; I know sometimes the moderators frown on us discussing denomintions in here. I agree with you on wondering what church would allow the type of behavior hechosme is describing here,and with him in a leadership role especially. Get some rest and I hope you get to feeling better. Sorry we strted out on the wrong foot.

Thanks for your understanding

[2Joyful]

Me and one of the other associate ministers in my church have become very close and we talk a lot on the phone but it's strictly about church, singing, and just casual talk about our jobs and kids and( stuff).

{quote}

The problem started when you all began to share personal things (stuff). Satan always bring about what appears as helpful friendships between two (married) people. He will cause you to show the great side of yourself ( ), when really you are just as real as the next fellow. If you both would use the same thing, that's making your chemistry work with your spouses, then the attracted to each of you would never have taken place.

You said, "Sometimes we have to be alone and we don't say anything but our eye contact be so strong.

1John 2:16-17 says For all that is in the world-lust of flesh, the lust of the eyes, and pride of life-is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; BUT he who does the will of God abides forever. Which will you choose lust of the flesh, eyes, pride of life or the will of God?

Is God pleased with us feeling this way....No

even though we have not acted on these feelings....But I say unto you, that whosoever look on a woman/man to lust after her/him has committed adultery in his/her heart-Matthew 5:28.

I see this as a way of denying the flesh but what do you do about those feelings even when you've already made your decision not to sin? You need to remove your selves from working together and inform your pastor about what is happening and get counseling.

Look I know I may sound hard, please know I have nothing but love and compassion for you, but I am so tried of Satan attacking the family and those that know better falling for it. You have so much to lose, family, lifestyle of being an example for Christ, there are young people who is looking up to you, character and so much more. Please heed to what I saying it's not worth it. Be inspired to Live a Godly Life....jotful

http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=d...&weeklytop/

[Easter-ner]

"I see this as a way of denying the flesh but what do you do about those feelings even when you've already made your decision not to sin?"

One question you may want to take to the Lord is to ask Him why you have these feelings in the first place. This could be something more than simple attraction. For example, even if you were to transfer to another church you might find yourself in the exact same situation with a different woman.

My recommendation is to seek Christian counseling to get to the root of the problem. In the book of James, we are told that if we confess our sins then God will heal us. (James 5:16) God will get right to the heart of the matter and He can create in you a clean heart.

Don't do this alone. Get a counselor to walk beside you to help you through it. God bless you, hechozme824, and I hope you get through this okay.

[hechozme824]

you're both married? oh boy. no offense, but you need to speak to your pastor and make sure that the two of you do not work together. part of the attraction is the secretiveness of it all, too. speaking to your pastor about this chemistry will expose this to the light of day and that will help to break the... the whatever it is. i would even go so far as to say you should confess this to your wife, but i know that would be difficult to do, and i doubt you'd do it.

one thing is for certain... if the two of you can not work as associate pastors at the same church and keep your eyes and minds focused on JESUS instead of each other, than one or both of you needs to resign from the position.

Ugh! I don't have a wife (I AM A WIFE) Sorry if I led you to believe I was a man. But no I am an associate minister with another male minister.

[hechozme824]

you're both married? oh boy. no offense, but you need to speak to your pastor and make sure that the two of you do not work together. part of the attraction is the secretiveness of it all, too. speaking to your pastor about this chemistry will expose this to the light of day and that will help to break the... the whatever it is. i would even go so far as to say you should confess this to your wife, but i know that would be difficult to do, and i doubt you'd do it.

one thing is for certain... if the two of you can not work as associate pastors at the same church and keep your eyes and minds focused on JESUS instead of each other, than one or both of you needs to resign from the position.

Ugh! I don't have a wife (I AM A WIFE) Sorry if I led you to believe I was a man. But no I am a female associate minister with another male minister.

[hechozme824]

you're both married? oh boy. no offense, but you need to speak to your pastor and make sure that the two of you do not work together. part of the attraction is the secretiveness of it all, too. speaking to your pastor about this chemistry will expose this to the light of day and that will help to break the... the whatever it is. i would even go so far as to say you should confess this to your wife, but i know that would be difficult to do, and i doubt you'd do it.

one thing is for certain... if the two of you can not work as associate pastors at the same church and keep your eyes and minds focused on JESUS instead of each other, than one or both of you needs to resign from the position.

First of all, I'M A WOMAN, not a man and I don't have a wife. I am a wife and both of our spouses know we work together in the church. That's why I say God is getting the glory out of it because we've been working together for almost a year and we haven't fell yet because we both are fighting against adultery since we know that is wrong.

[hechozme824]

I agree with all the other posters here. Occasions of sin are to be avoided. But, what is worse, is if by our actions we give scandal. "It would be better to have a giant millstone tied around your neck and to be cast into the sea." Even without the chemistry, it is inappropriate for a married man or woman to be alone in a private setting with a member of the opposite sex.

When you are in ministry that is simply Impossible! You get calls all the time to go pray for this individual, counsel with a person, and I'm also a musician (I'M A FEMALE NOT A MALE) just clearing that up for Everybody. And first of all there are no such things as "private settings". Whatever you do in the ministry, it is seen by ALL and people will come up with their own assumptions of what they think about this person and that person but me and him both know that we've been working together for nearly a year and have just remained friends and nothing more.

[hechozme824]

Me and one of the other associate ministers in my church have become very close and we talk a lot on the phone but it's strictly about church, singing, and just casual talk about our jobs and kids and stuff. But we both are attracted to each other. Neither one of use have mentioned anything out of the way to the other one but we just know because the chemistry be so thick in the room when we're together working on a project or something. Sometimes we have to be alone and we don't say anything but oure eye contact be so strong. Is God pleased with us feeling this way even though we have not acted on these feelings but continue to praise our spouses to each other and remind ourselves of how good our own marriages are? I see this as a way of denying the flesh but what do you do about those feelings even when you've already made your decision not to sin?

Stait from the Mouth of our Lord..... You are an adulterer.

Matt 5:28-30

28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

NKJV

I would suggest that you find some way to not be aground her, or start poking out your eyes...... and I'm not trying to be funny. You are on a train headed strait for disaster and you'll not only destroy your families, but hurt the Church while you're at it.

Fez is right....... Run.

I AM A WOMAN NOT A MAN!!! Sorry, I just dislike the fact that everybody who has sent their posts seem to think I'm a man I guess because men are usually the ones who fall into these kinds of traps.

[humbleseeker]

I think that its great your so honest. Thats the first step I believe to healing and overcoming. We are human we have eyes and emotions and they can run wild I dont judge you or condem you just because your a minister, were all the body of Christ. I pray for you and hope that you can find the strength to reesist temptation so the devil will flee. If it starts getting to bad then quit, your position and go back to school for a while.