Discipline and Forgiveness

[Fez]

I live in a complex in a garden setting alongside an estuary. Most of the units are holiday rentals, and there are only three of us that are permanent residents (which is nice, very quiet most of the year!)

I am the chairman of the body corporate and responsible to ensure maintenance, finances, staff, security, caretaker, etc, are doing what they are supposed to be doing. This is a volunteer position to which I was elected by the owners of the units, and does not take up that much of my spare time.

Recently a single mother and her son moved into one of the units on a three month lease. He is twelve years old.

I have never, in my life, ever, come across a more out of control child. Since being here (one month), he has broken tables, signs, stolen keys, thrown a bicycle into the pool; hit a younger kid over the head with a plastic surf board etc. Speaking to his mother has not helped. She is fiercely protective and goes on the attack while he stands behind her with a look of defiance in his eyes that is almost that of a psychopath (seriously).

On Wednesday afternoon it was found that the unit next to mine had been broken into.

Short version is that I put two and two together and eventually he admitted to having done it with a friend of his (whose father works for me!). The owner of the unit drove six hours to come and see the damage (place had been turned upside down, a GPS unit and other stuff stolen)

Here

[EricH]

Moved from General Discussion to Looking for Advice

[~Shalhevet~]

I really searched my heart, from a Christian perspective, over this, and the mother

[traveller]

Sounds to me like he's been accustomed to others "letting it slide" far too long. I think you've done the right thing for both of them. The harder road is the one that causes us to take the time to try to make a difference.

Bless you Brother.

[Creed]

Bravo for having a spine, Fez. Someone has to hold him accountable after 12 years of who knows what. Unless halted now, it seems likely that he'd graduate to more and more serious crimes. (what you've mentioned so far is mind boggling for a pre-teen.) Mom's all teary now?? Just think what she'd be if he ended up in prison for life. You're doing them both a favor (they don't know this yet) by your actions.

[Blien]

I read a statistic about a year ago that said, 80% of people in jails in the United States come from a one parent home, single mothers, etc.. The reason being is because there is no father figure to control the child. He/She grows up to becoming a wild person with no self-control as you are describing here.

The Bible says that "the heart of a child is bound up in foolishness but the rod of correction with drive it far away" .. This child needs to know he can't hide behind his mother's back just because she doesn't have the heart (or wisdom) to correct him. I say. Do whatever is necessary to correct him. I would report that breaking in and thievery to the police. Why should this be a bad thing?

[fromIslam2Christ]

I really searched my heart, from a Christian perspective, over this, and the mother

[Blien]

Just to add to what everone said..

Proverbs 22:15

A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 13:24

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Proverbs 3:12

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

you did the right thing...

[fromIslam2Christ]

By the way I am raising two children as a single mother.

They know their limits and they have set boundaries.

I don't cut them any slack. I know many single moms who are strict with their children and let them know their mothers won't tolerate any nonsense.

I don't take nonsense from any child living under my roof. Period. Father or no father.

Some single parents stop parenting and behave like children themselves and expect their children to parent THEM. The love and affection they should be getting from an adult mate and partner, they try to receive it from the child. Very wrong. I know a single mom whose son is always the "victim", "innocent." He got his girflfriend pregnant and the mother said the girlfriend trapped her poor son. He is now 27 years old and getting in touble with the law all the time, getitng into fights and getting arrested,. losing his jobs, not taking care of his child.... and sleeping in his mother's bed because his mom doesnt like sleeping alone.

Bottom line is. Do what is right.

[~Shalhevet~]

Just to add to what everone said..

Proverbs 22:15

A youngster's heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 13:24

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

Proverbs 3:12

For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.

you did the right thing...

Adding to this:

Let every person be subordinate to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God. Romans 1:1