Feeling alone

[~~ angelique ~~]

I've been feeling so alone. I keep a 'facade' up to survive. Most, if not all, of my friends and family would never guess I'm feeling this way. It's coming upon 2 years since nascarman passed. I've graduated and facing the big gaping hole of loneliness which I've been staying busy to avoid. I've been dating but that doesn't even begin to tough the 'void' that is inside of me. I feel empty, drained, and dead on the inside. I have been very angry at God for taking my husband. Now that the anger has subsided, I feel dead. And, again, I really think that no one would see that in me because I've learned to cover to survive. This feeling is horrible.

Has anyone ever felt this way?

[He giveth more grace]

I've been feeling so alone. I keep a 'facade' up to survive. Most, if not all, of my friends and family would never guess I'm feeling this way. It's coming upon 2 years since nascarman passed. I've graduated and facing the big gaping hole of loneliness which I've been staying busy to avoid. I've been dating but that doesn't even begin to tough the 'void' that is inside of me. I feel empty, drained, and dead on the inside. I have been very angry at God for taking my husband. Now that the anger has subsided, I feel dead. And, again, I really think that no one would see that in me because I've learned to cover to survive. This feeling is horrible.

Has anyone ever felt this way?

angelique, I don't know how it is to lose a spouse, but I do know what it mean to feel alone, The feeling of loneliness is something that is very hard to cope with and being with people doesn't help, you can feel alone in a crowd. All I can say is, your solution is fellowship with the word of God, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God" and fellowship with Christ, get alone and pour your heart out to him.

Philippians 4:6-7

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I am a miserable comforter, may the Holy Spirit comfort you by the word - read it daily.

Edited July 22, 2010 by Monarchy

[Trusting Jesus]

My heart goes out to you . To one extent or another everyone puts up a front to hide what's going on inside. Your sadness and emptiness is all magnified because you went through so much. I know you loved your husband and that the two of you went through many trials, but had many good times. There comes a time after someone we love dies that we have to move on. I don't mean to forget him or anything like that. But you have to realizze that you are not being disloyal to him if you date and come to love another man. Your husband had accepted Christ so you know that he is happy. Now you need to move forward. You aren't helping him by making yourself miserable. You have a loving heart and have so much to give. You can find love again and you deserve it.

Since you have graduated and have time on your hands could you fill your time volunteering in a retirement center or something similar? Can you find a hobby and join with others who share that interest? Those are just a couple of ideas. But the idea is to start re-building your life. If you are able to read your Bible, do it. If you are able to go to church now, do it and get involved. Letting go of the past is not disrespecting your husband. Move forward.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[nebula]

Has anyone ever felt this way?

Yeah, I've felt that way practically my whole life.

And I didn't have friends to hang out.

I would suggest, though, if any of your friends are ones you can confide in, you need to tell them what's going on.

It's hard for me as an introvert to conceive how an extrovert can be lonely and in need of someone to be the initiator in communicating for a change. So that's why you need to communicate this, let them know that you need to know once in a while that they are wanting to talk with and spend time with you. (As an introvert, I hate taking the initiative...that's why I need to be hounded on, "I want you to interrupt my time!")

Does that make sense?

And as far as God, He really does want to comfort your heart.

Prayers

[2Joyful]

Heavenly Father,

I enter into Your courts with praise for this is the day You have made...(no matter whats going on ).. I will rejoice an be glad!!

Blessings to you Angelique,

My heart goes out to you are you seek to adjust to the lost of your husband. I pray that your days will began to bring a smile as you think of the love that you and your husband shared, not only that but the love that God has for you, and how He is lifted up, because two of His own did things according to the plan He designed concerning marriage. Many of us can't relate to that.

I pray that you will find peace during this difficult time, one way is to share with those you love and love you back. Keeping on the smiling face and holding on to the hurt inside can bring about health problems and a deeper set of depression. No one should be told when to release mourning and move on, but when that mourning starts depression in the way you are feeling, it needs to be dealt with. Talk with your pastor, or get free counseling from a mental health center. I walked around for years with deep depression, brought on by childhood situations. It almost robbed me of my life and its ended what could be a blissful marriage. But I sought counseling, found a doctor (Christian) and took my medicines. A year ago I stopped the medicine and have had an episode, and some shaky days, but each day I arise and refuse to allow the enemy to chain me down. 90% of the days are successful, the other I don't count.

As for dating, wait until you have taken care of the depression and whats causing it. Don't try to fix something that was never broken. You have to be able to be release from whats holding you down, if you can't love yourself, theres no way you will be able to love someone like they deserve to be loved back.

As for God, He's the same yesterday, today and forever more. He loves you and He meant no harm to you, by taking your husband to be with Him. Please allow Him to do what He knows thats best for you......I don't know what it is, its between you and Him.

Prayerfully,

2J

[turtletwo]

Yes, I know the torment of feeling alone only too well. My family withdrew from me just because a physical disease befell me several years back. You would have thought it was leprosy! But really, they just didn't want to hear about my health problems.

The lack of support from those I loved the most broke my heart. And though their cold behavior lingers on and I am shut out of my family even when my dad is dying of cancer, I see the only answer is God. Though I do thank my fellow Worthyites for all their help through the years. We really care, angelique.

The Holy Spirit is called the Comforter. So He will be there for you, when humans fail to understand. You have my empathy. I have lost 3 close loved ones through death. They were family members that were really kind to me, ironically. I felt angry with God, as did Job in the Bible. I felt a deep sense of loss. Mourning definitely varies from person to person. Some just take longer for the inner pain to heal. So don't feel hurried or condemned. Because God understands. And so do I. Prayer and soothing Christian music are good therapies. And comforting scriptures too.

[Guest]

Praying!

[turtletwo]

Angelique, I have been thinking about you, feeling for you and keeping you in prayer. I wish that I could do more to help you with what you are going through! (Feel free to let me know if there is any way that I can, okay?) I'm glad you have turned to us here.

You asked a good question...if anyone has felt the need to put on a facade to survive. And how many people would never even suspect your feeling dead inside. I pondered over possible causes for this and came up with a couple. One is that we all, as humans feel a desperate need for people to love and accept us. We fear if we make ourselves too transparent or come across as negative, then they might turn against us.

Also, we often don't want to drag others down by being vulnerable. I always felt like I must be the strong one in my family. It wasn't till I got sick that I started realizing I let everyone else drain me dry with their problems. Sometimes I also need to be consoled or encouraged by others.

I felt some resented me when I opened up. As if I was interfering with their happiness or 'raining on their parade.' But painting a happy face for them wasn't really being fair to myself or even fully truthful.

I commend you for having the courage to come to this forum and express how you are struggling. Not everyone is so real and honest to pour their heart out the way that you did... It really touched me.

[Fez]

Sister, not too many words from me.

I will pray.

And you are loved......

[oldzimm]

From what I've seen from others that had a spouse pass away, it can be quite devastating emotionally and physically. My prayers are with you Angelique.