Divorced in the world, but divorced in God's eyes?

[Guest LadyC]

hang on and let me go read the verse you posted. but i'm puzzled by your statement that it's in the NT. so was one of the ones i posted. i could ask how you reconcile that one... but really the whole NT thing, why is the NT more relevant than the OT? are they not both God's word?

[Blien]

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

The Amplified Bible puts it more clearly..

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (Amplified Bible)

10 But to the married people I give charge--not I but the Lord--that the wife is not to separate from her husband.11 But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And [i charge] the husband [also] that he should not put away or divorce his wife.

The point is, she is still bound to her husband and should be reconciled to him, BUT she is free to divorce if there is adultery or abandonment by the unbelieving partner and is free to remarry if she wishes.

..to her original husband. Not a new one.

No. If her husband committed adultery, or if he was an unbeliever and abandoned her, she is free to marry another man. BUT, she is also free to forgive her husband for his adultery and remarry him. But as for the unbelieving one, the Bible says we are not to be yoked with them.

Please show me where in the scripture it says she can marry another man?

Well, for example, as the scripture example I gave earlier says:

[Blien]

hang on and let me go read the verse you posted. but i'm puzzled by your statement that it's in the NT. so was one of the ones i posted. i could ask how you reconcile that one... but really the whole NT thing, why is the NT more relevant than the OT? are they not both God's word?

They are but I ask simply because with the New Testament some things over took the Old Testament laws in terms of priority. For example.. in the old testament we are to abstain from eating certain foods. In the New Testament we can eat anything so long as we do not betray our consciousness and know why we can eat anything.

[Blien]

by the way, once a person has been forgiven, and the sin no longer exists, then it is only our human reasoning that considers any forthcoming marriage to be a "remarriage". in the eyes of God, it is simply a marriage.

and for those who want scripture to back up what i just said, i provided it in my previous post. the ones from psalm, isaiah, and 1 corinthians.

besides, why should this be a matter of debate? not accusing anyone here, just pointing out that this is a topic that is frequently debated here, and it is never edifying to the body of Christ. it generally degrades into a battle between those who accuse others of living in constant sin, and those who defend the grace in which they stand...

That is seriously not my intention and I highly discourage anyone from doing such a thing in this topic. I never read any of the other divorce topics so this is all new to me in terms of seeing you guys and gals discuss theses verses..

[Guest LadyC]

oh i'm so stupid LOL. sorry, i misread the verse you asked me about and thought you said chapter 10 not v. 10. i was about to go look up this new passage when i saw it quoted by wyguy. who, by the way, did a darn good job of explaining what i would have said.

again, you have to take the totality of scripture. if God's word says things that appear to be contradictory, then it is on our end that the misunderstanding is taking place. God doesn't contradict Himself, right? and the only way to reconcile things that SEEM contradictory is to continue to study in more depth, not only on what we think is relevant, but we have to expand our study to the character and nature of God to get clearer understanding.

it's interesting isn't it, how the scripture that you are using for the basis of your understanding, is just a breath away from the verses i quoted which say that if a man has divorced, and has chosen to marry again, he has not sinned. literally a breath away! less than a dozen verses!

[wyguy]

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

The Amplified Bible puts it more clearly..

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (Amplified Bible)

10 But to the married people I give charge--not I but the Lord--that the wife is not to separate from her husband.11 But if she does [separate from and divorce him], let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband. And [i charge] the husband [also] that he should not put away or divorce his wife.

The point is, she is still bound to her husband and should be reconciled to him, BUT she is free to divorce if there is adultery or abandonment by the unbelieving partner and is free to remarry if she wishes.

..to her original husband. Not a new one.

No. If her husband committed adultery, or if he was an unbeliever and abandoned her, she is free to marry another man. BUT, she is also free to forgive her husband for his adultery and remarry him. But as for the unbelieving one, the Bible says we are not to be yoked with them.

Please show me where in the scripture it says she can marry another man?

Well, for example, as the scripture example I gave earlier says:

[Guest LadyC]

you are lucky to have missed all the millions of disputes on this subject LOL. seriously. many people have been deeply hurt by the words of others. i know of one former member here who was married to a christian woman. both of them had been divorced when they were younger and not living for the Lord. the poor guy actually was convinced that he and his wife lived in a constant state of sin and committed adultery every time they were intimate. it was very sad. he eventually left these boards, but he had been a long time member, and really loved the Lord.

here's the catch on something like that. if a person has divorced, repented, and gotten married again, if they are really committing adultery then the only solution is for them to cease to be intimate. but to cease to be intimate violates another direct command of God, which is to not to withhold yourself from your spouse except for a mutual time of fasting and prayer.

God's word (through the voice of paul) says that it is better to marry than to burn. that remains true for those who have divorced, so long as they have repented. otherwise, God would have taken away their desire for intimacy upon repentance, so that they would not have to burn with desire.

in any case, scripture itself says that if a person has divorced (but and if) that they have not sinned if they marry. it's addressing the male gender here, but i see no indication in scripture that only a man would be forgiven and not a woman. it makes the distinction that this is no different than a virgin marrying for the first time. it also goes on to say that while he has not sinned, he will not be spared from the trouble in the flesh, but that GOD will spare him. now, i don't know for sure, but i think the trouble if the flesh being referred to is the typical trouble that happens when you put blended families together, or when there is conflict between a couple and an ex. the being spared part, IMO, can only mean that God has spared them from being punished for the rest of their lives by being forbidden to marry after having been forgiven, but not from the natural consequences of complicated relationships.

and when it is all said and done? the bottom line is, forgiveness. once forgiven, we're no longer held in bondage to our past sin.

[Blien]

you are lucky to have missed all the millions of disputes on this subject LOL. seriously. many people have been deeply hurt by the words of others. i know of one former member here who was married to a christian woman. both of them had been divorced when they were younger and not living for the Lord. the poor guy actually was convinced that he and his wife lived in a constant state of sin and committed adultery every time they were intimate. it was very sad. he eventually left these boards, but he had been a long time member, and really loved the Lord.

here's the catch on something like that. if a person has divorced, repented, and gotten married again, if they are really committing adultery then the only solution is for them to cease to be intimate. but to cease to be intimate violates another direct command of God, which is to not to withhold yourself from your spouse except for a mutual time of fasting and prayer.

God's word (through the voice of paul) says that it is better to marry than to burn. that remains true for those who have divorced, so long as they have repented. otherwise, God would have taken away their desire for intimacy upon repentance, so that they would not have to burn with desire.

in any case, scripture itself says that if a person has divorced (but and if) that they have not sinned if they marry. it's addressing the male gender here, but i see no indication in scripture that only a man would be forgiven and not a woman. it makes the distinction that this is no different than a virgin marrying for the first time. it also goes on to say that while he has not sinned, he will not be spared from the trouble in the flesh, but that GOD will spare him. now, i don't know for sure, but i think the trouble if the flesh being referred to is the typical trouble that happens when you put blended families together, or when there is conflict between a couple and an ex. the being spared part, IMO, can only mean that God has spared them from being punished for the rest of their lives by being forbidden to marry after having been forgiven, but not from the natural consequences of complicated relationships.

and when it is all said and done? the bottom line is, forgiveness. once forgiven, we're no longer held in bondage to our past sin.

You keep mentioning the word "spared" what verse are you referring too? I have a different translation I think so I couldn't follow along with that second last paragraph..

[Guest LadyC]

sorry, it was in the 2nd half of v. 28... i only posted the first half. the distinction of it being no different than the virgin who marries is also in the 2nd half.

27Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

i gotta go heat up some leftovers before work... and i gotta be at work in an hour, so this will have to conclude my part of the discussion for now. (and by the time i return, there will probably be several more pages and i won't want to jump back in.)

[Blien]

No I think I'll end it here. We've all made good points and anyone can decide for themselves from here what they think is right according to the scriptures. Thanks for your insight it does say spared in my Bible too I just didn't know what you were referring too. Going to ask the mods to close this topic so it doesn't spiral off into something it's not supposed to.

Thanks everyone!