Hurt People, Hurt People

[Kabowd]

We've all been wounded to some extent or another. As long as we're here on this earth, I think we can count on it happening again and again. Sometimes the wounds come from those who don't know Christ and it's a little easier to understand that they've done so out of a heart that hasn't realized true love and forgiveness. They're doing what they know to do.

What is really hard for me, is understanding how believers can hurt eachother the way they do. When someone you share faith with, a brother or sister in the Lord, tears you down or wounds you it's hard to swallow. It cuts deep. I think it hurts so much because it's hard to grasp that someone in your own "family" can wound you this way. Those of you who have grown up in abusive homes, my heart goes out to you. It's one thing to suffer abuse at the hands of a stranger, an outsider. It's another to suffer at the hands of those who are your own blood, who claim to "love" you (and I've experienced this myself too).

So how do we process it when a brother or siser in Christ wounds us? I was talking to my brother about it this morning and he said something interesting (some of you may have heard this before), he said "Hurt people, hurt people". At first I didn't get what he was saying, but then he explained. Those who wound others are very often those who have been deeply wounded themselves. They respond out of the pain of their own, and end up inflicting pain on others.

I don't really know what my point with this post is, except to say this: maybe one way we can show grace and forgiveness to others when they've hurt us, is to consider that more than likely they are hurting inside. Generally, healthy ppl don't usually go around lashing out. Those who are angry, bitter and harsh are probably the ones we need to show love and kindness to the most. Not so that we can become their doormat (because I am firmly against allowing ppl to abuse others), but because it's kindness that leads to repentance.

The next time someone hurts me I'm going to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give me the grace and discernment to recognize it for what it is. I'm going to pray that God will remind me that it's not the person who is my enemy. Hopefully I can learn to avoid perpetuating the problem by returning wound for wound. This doesn't mean I'll allow myself to be abused, but I will seek to offer grace and understanding to those who hurt me. This will truly take an act of the Holy Spirit because it certainly isn't within my nature to do it on my own. But hopefully as I attempt to show grace to others, my life will reflect the grace that He's shown me.

...just some thoughts.

~Tess

[Kabowd]

btw..this wasn't meant to be directed towards anyone in specific. It's just something I felt God put on my heart....

[our3blessings]

btw..this wasn't meant to be directed towards anyone in specific. It's just something I felt God put on my heart....

Oh, my goodness, Tess. I just posted a new topic about someone in church hurting me and am asking for help with it. Thank you for your wise words. :hug:

[artsylady]

...just some thoughts.

Some very good thoughts.

[WayneB]

Ah, good thoughts... and wise words from your brother.

I always try to fathom the "hurt" Christ felt when those HE loved nailed HIM to a cross. What did HE do? HE asked the FATHER to forgive them. He knew as you that hurt people hurt people. The Jews were looking for an earthly king to free them from the oppression of Roman rule and what did they get? A Messiah and King over all creation yet they did not see. Yup, hurt people hurt people and Jesus knew that. We live in a hurting world!

One of my favorite Psalms?

Psalm 78

36

[naomi3]

Sometimes the wounds come from those who don't know Christ and it's a little easier to understand that they've done so out of a heart that hasn't realized true love and forgiveness.

I think this is the same for those who lash out. There are many who are saved who truely do not understand true love and forgiveness.

You can not give what you do not have. Many christians do not understand the unconditional love of the Lord. So it doesn't just go for the lost. Any time I see another believer act in that manner I see a person who does not know the love of the Lord.

[Botz]

Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Heb 12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

[shammah]

Oh sweet Tess, you have been given wisdom from above, and these words are comforting to me.

I too have been deeply wounded, my life has been one of abuse, and many other things that I won't go into here.

The Lord has done a marvelous work within my heart, and so, by the angry words from others, it gives me a deep intercession for them, and I take them before the Father, and ask forgiveness for them, and for a change of heart, and to be filled with His precious Love.

Only Love can set you free, and in Corinthians it speaks of the gifts, wisdom, knowledge that one might have, but if they do not have Love, they are empty.

This is the greatest gift of all, LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace comes hand, in hand, with this LOVE, and rest, the final rest for God's people, to rest IN HIM, and be filled with HIS LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgiveness comes when you can LOVE that person, and then will you be able to be set free from all bitterness.

Thank you so much for this message dear sister, you are a treasure!!!!

Shalom, and LOVE in Yah Shua, shammah :t:

[Guest koppen]

Tess you continually to amaze me by yur wisdom...I have struggled with this very thing lately...It does hurt MORE when it comes from a fellow believer..But I try to keep my eyes on the Lord because I know that we are not perfect and that we ALL fall short...But sometimes the word do sting....

God Bless you hun!

[Guest kitkat]

Tess you continually to amaze me by yur wisdom...I have struggled with this very thing lately...It does hurt MORE when it comes from a fellow believer..But I try to keep my eyes on the Lord because I know that we are not perfect and that we ALL fall short...But sometimes the word do sting....

God Bless you hun!

EXCELLENT post Tess. I agree with koppen here.

I've struggled with this very thing myself. One thing that hurts is when I'm facing a situation with a fellow brother or sister in Christ that I cannot figure out.

In other words they claim to be my friend and warm up to me, only to flip-flop and turn around and totally betray me. Sometimes I feel like I can cut the hate that I feel from someone with a knife. If someone is going to continually confuse me as to where I stand with them, I guess the only thing to do is to take it to the Lord and pray for them.

In Christ,

Kat

:hug: