I Have Had It.....Really

[He giveth more grace]

Gary,

This insight is much appreciated. In my heart, I truly think I was heading this way. For the past few mornings I actually did find myself feeling rather bitter

towards my husband for his ability to sleep in while I tend to the little ones. Going to do some praying about this. Try to look at it from the beautiful picture

you painted here for me. Jesus did endure so much more, and he was blameless....yet his sacrifice is not acknowledge or goes unappreciated by so many.

Thank you...this was much needed.

May God Bless You

Dani

We thank God for his using Brother Gary. Gary, your situation need much prayer too.

[AnotherSinner]

Dani,

I have one child with juvenile diabetes and another with down syndrome. But I always go back to Jesus who taught me that circumstances are no excuse for me to alter my person and behave poorly. My special needs children can be overwhelming with all of the meds, doctor visits, diet etc (although my healthy 3 year old is the most taxing of the bunch personality wise). But I bet it was nothing compared to walking day in and day out as the leader of 12 Apostles who were without understanding and being trained up to be the foundation of the church. I can't imagine being Jesus, the Son of God, and being told by Peter that your wrong and don't know what your talking about (although my 3 year old does that to me regularly). Walking in his shoes is extremely difficult and we have sin dwelling within us to boot.

A few things that have helped me to understand my situation and not fall into hopelessness when I fall.

1. All my thoughts are not my own. Some come from demons who wish to destroy me. I bring every thought subject unto Christ. Demons don't always hang around, they come and go so don't be surprised if things go well for awhile and then your all of a sudden being tempted big time in your thought life.
   
2. Sin dwells within me and I must rule over it. When ever I would to do anything I am well aware that evil is present with me urging me to do otherwise. Sometimes I just plain talk to sin and tell him not today as I am no longer your servant.
   
3. I wrestle not against flesh and blood (other people) so much as the principalities and powers and rulers of darkness in high places. The devils as well as sin are in everyone around me and I try to remember that they may not understand what is affecting them either. Scripture says that Gods people are destroyed by lack of knowledge.
   
4. Sin is pleasurable and very attractive though it come with a great price. I must ask God to remove its allure. He has been so kind to me in this area when I remember to go to him first and ask.
   

Set your heart on God and pleasing him and he will lift you up. Remember that scripture tells us that we will suffer before we are settled. Here is a passage of scripture to meditate on for today. I am sure you already know it. Don't get sucked into the habit of just reading it and reflecting on some old thought about it but truly explore it for what it is saying to you today. Let it speak to your heart and give you understanding through the Holy Spirit. Keep it all together as the whole thing applies and if moved to, go and reread all of 1 Peter.

1 Peter 5

6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Have a wonderfully blessed experience growing in the grace of God. Tribulation->Patience->Experience->Hope and Hope makes one not to be ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit as we are filled with him -> Then we have the fruits of love, joy, patience, temperance, faith, meekness, goodness, gentleness and kindness for others to readily feed off of. We will never stand before him ashamed if we are made perfect by his love and give that love freely to everyone around us regardless of their spiritual condition.

It gets easier with time and experience.

We started here:

Now we are here:

I have grown so much closer to God during this experience. There is nothing like seeing your baby hooked up to so much technology just to continue living knowing that God could make it all different but instead chooses to cause you to grow through the experience instead. My son is 11 months and can just now roll over. His muscle tone is so weak that everything is a struggle. He has a tube coming directly out of his stomach that he gets 80% of his feedings through. He had open heart surgery at 6 months. All he ever does is look at me, smile and laugh. I can't imagine life without him in it.

This is the only life that will ever be like this and thank God it is short. Praise him for his excellent mercies.

Gary

Gary,

That boy is beautiful! A living miracle too. Thank you for sharing with me. My boy has not endured half of that. Though I have a younger sister who has managed time and time again to escape open heart surgery with her narrowing heart valves I pray that if that day ever comes she makes it. Though like your sweet boy there, she gets her food from a tube in her tummy as well and has for many years now. William Syndrome is still rather new to so many who hear of it....they look at me and go what? Jesus likely did have it very hard living with people who did not understand him. Think we all could use a gentle reminder like that from time to time. Thank you so much for sharing. Your insight is much appreciated.

May God Bless You

Dani